christine brown

January 21, 2013

So, i'm about four years late in watching this but give me a break, i'm a very busy girl.
...
Hah, can't even convince myself that's true.
Bone. Freaking. Idle.
Not proud, i just have a very particular set of skills.
Wow, i'm lame.
Moving on.
For some inexplicable reason, i still have faith in Sam Raimi.
Even after the diabolical flop that was the Spiderman trilogy.
I fully believe there is no way to make Spiderman a cool guy.
Peter Parker is just a nerdy kid with one-liners spilling out of every available orifice and within the comic books that's the way he should forever remain but this character does not translate well to film.
He would need a full personality change to come over as anything but a douche, a sweet, somewhat unaware douche but still a douche!
To be fair, i haven't seen Marc Webb's take on old Spidey yet but i can pretty much gather that it'll be the movie Sam Raimi made but marginally better, redundant however, because it's all too little, too late...
But the man's responsible for The Evil Dead!
All hail the man that gave Bruce Campbell his boomstick.
That gives him a free pass for life and with Drag Me To Hell he rose a great deal in my favour once more.
It broke a rule though.
A very important rule.
I do not do animal death in films.
Even possible death.
I can't watch Independence Day anymore, mostly because i'm so damn tired of it but because i spend the entire movie worrying about the President's dog.
When i was younger, i was fully traumatised watching Homeward Bound due to the stress of witnessing these three animals spend most of the film trying not to get flattened/eaten/mauled and so on and so upsettingly forth.
I can't even talk about I Am Legend.

It's exhausting being this mental.

So Mr Raimi, i'm not happy.
You owe me a kitten.
A fluffy one.


Listening to: Vampire Hands 'No Joy'
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