Y'now how if you're lucky, you have a certain skill, talent, gift, whatever you want to call it?
And you're maybe not the best but you're confident in your abilities.
But then some other person with the same gift comes along and it just blows your mind to the point where you either think, 'I have to be as good, no, better than this person', or curl up into a ball of despair and give up on your talents entirely.
Well, Armin Mersmann's work does the latter to me.
Artistically, i'm very fragile.
I have negative confidence in my abilities and this has led me to abandon drawing almost altogether.
It doesn't even feel right to refer to myself as an artist anymore.
I do what Mersmann does but he executes it with so much more skill that it cripples me.
And he's just one of many that, through no fault of their own, add to this feeling of worthlessness in my very bones.
Oh, to be cocksure like many of my university peers and not give one single sod what anyone else thinks.
I'm not built that way and now i'm too afraid to draw.
Vicious cycles, i seem to be in perpetual orbit of them.
A very gloomy blog entry, whereas i'm actually rather chipper today.
Here's a song i love to prove it:
Listening to: Golden Fable 'Guiding Light'