off to war

January 17, 2013

On the 17th of January 2013, i woke up to discover two unexpected gifts.
I didn't see this coming.
I didn't even think Armin Mersmann would have any knowledge of my blog - it's so little - let alone take the time to write me such a thoughtful, honest and above all, supportive message.
I think i forget sometimes that i'm not the only artist in the world.
That sounds incredibly narcissistic but it's the simple fact that i live with myself every day, i'm only capable of knowing how i feel at all times and i'm not one to share.
I'll put it all over the internet, however. 
More making of the sense that is not, my speciality.

I regret not talking to my university friends about the feelings of inadequacy that were debilitating me while i was still in education.
They were probably feeling just the same and would not have been able to fix my problems but perhaps then i wouldn't have felt so small and so alone in my situation.
To be a Fine artist in a contemporary art school is not easy, thus why i fled so spectacularly.
This year i'll be receiving my Ordinary Degree, after 4 years of the university kindly holding my space open so i could complete with my Honours.
Which i can do whenever i wish. 
Hopefully they'd reaccept me but i'm not entirely sure DOJ is the place for me.
I'm not even sure if art is the right choice for me and until i know that i won't be returning to any institution of art.
It's really rather hard for someone like myself, who's ultimate goal within university was to receive a 1st and couldn't even bring themselves to start their final year.
It's all i wanted but i was a mess and it shouldn't have been what being an artist at art school was about.
I should have just wanted to create, instead i wanted to win.
Unhealthy but understandable.
I still want that 1st, i think i always will but if i go back to complete my degree, i just want to produce something that touches people.
Something i'm proud of.
But not too proud! 

So, thank you Mr Mersmann
I can't tell you how much receiving your message meant to me and how much it's given me to think about.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow and please keep producing your sublime works of art.
They may leave me timid but they are truly wonderful things to behold.

Also, to anyone who is currently at art school or even doing it solo and finds themselves in the same situation as i, message me if you'd like.
I can't fix it but i can empathise.
With bells on.

My other gift of the day was from my Mum.
It's always nice to wake up to a present, especially when you are utterly undeserving because of the ungodly hour you've finally dragged yourself out of bed to attempt functioning like a normal human being.
I won't tell you the hour but it was pretty bad.
The sun was going back down.
Shame, shame on me.
Thanks Mum.
You may be the only one i have but i still kinda think you're the best one.

Feel free to make barfing noises behind your computer screens at my unabashed soppiness!
I care not!



Listening to: Seamonster 'Bed of Roses'

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Dex said...

I found a place up here that does chai latte :)

Dex said...

I always want to do things in a structured, organised way but I'm totally incapable of doing things in a structured, organised way.

Dex said...

Is it unforgivable that I've still not made it to the 3rd episode of Stranger Things? I suck.

Dex said...

I may be forced to go to Edinburgh in September for some pointless work thing. It'd be nice to see Edinburgh again but I'd have to go by plane and I think I'd really struggle with my fear of flying. Plus having to spend a day talking to strangers. Hopefully someone else will go instead. Even just thinking about it makes me nervous :S

Dex said...

Film quiz tonight. The only night of the month when I go out :)

Dex said...

One thing I'll say for myself - I know a surprising amount about films I've never seen and don't even want to see.

If only I could fill my head with information that was actually useful :S

Dex said...

Suddenly realised how amazing Starbars are :)

Dex said...

Thought I would re-watch Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang tonight. Such a good film :)

Dex said...

I really don't do much with my time. I still never seem to have enough of it :S

Dex said...

It kinda sucks being 30 and still feeling like I have chores to do :S

Dex said...

Kinda jealous. Someone at work is leaving to become a teacher. I wish my life was moving forward too. Still, I suppose it's pretty comfortable as it is :)

Dex said...

I'm starting again to make plans for holidays away from here that I know I'm never going to take. It's nice to pretend though :)

Dex said...

I think I would really like to have a barbecue :) It was my mum's birthday today and they went to the beach for a barbecue but I was working.

Dex said...

My brain's a mess. I don't think I can cope with planning a week's holiday. Even though it's only Edinburgh. I think I'll just go for the work thing and then come home straight away.

Dex said...

So, I decided to just go to Edinburgh for the day to go to the work thing and then fly home later that evening.

You're going to think I'm ridiculous but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I'm still not ready to spend any length of time away from home. I feel very disappointed in myself.

Dex said...

Had an eye test today and bought frames for my first pair of glasses.

Dex said...

Do you want to know how long I spent in the opticians looking at frames? 2 hours. I definitely could have done with your opinion :)

Dex said...

Since I'm probably never going to move out, I think I'd like to try and make my room into some kind of self contained flat :)

Dex said...

I go to bed so early these days that I sometimes wonder what our overlap of actual awake time is :)

Louise Boyd said...

Ugh, i've been putting off writing this message for ages but our birthday's ever encroaching so the time has come...

At the beginning of the year my salary was decreased (not for bad behaviour but shifts in resources and whatnot) so i won't be able to get you anything extravagant for your birthday. I feel so fucking guilty about this and i hope you haven't bought anything already because that'll make the guilt increase tenfold 0_0
You will be getting a few things, some quite possibly homemade =/, and your yearly mix will be in there too (sorry about the missing Christmas mix, that was a fail on my part) so it's not all bad.

I know you'll tell me to not be so stupid because you're a hero of a human but i still feel shitty about this -_- Especially when i've been such an absent friend lately! If it helps, i definitely think you should rehaul your room into a mini home (like this). Em and I are about halfway through redoing my room (also why i've been so absent, plus the crazy) and it's soooo much better. I sleep surrounded by books... the dream is being lived. So do it. Most definitely do it. Or flee to Hawaii, either works.

Dex said...

Lilliputty, I think all the stuff you've bought me over the last few years should tide me over for a long time :) So please don't worry about getting me anything for our birthday. Well, maybe a mix if you have time :) Also, if you find a place that sells quiet moments, you can buy me a lifetime supply of those too :)

Ugh, I actually haven't got around to buying your presents yet. Just because I'm lazy. But I've pretty much decided what I'm getting you :) I'm going to order a couple of them this weekend. I promise I won't buy anything ridiculous but I have to get you a few things because... well, just because :)

Knowing you and your sister, I bet your room is going to look amazing. And at least I know you'll find a little happiness sleeping surrounded by books :)

Dex said...

Oh, would you like some amusing news, Maggot? My cousin has asked me to be godfather to her baby :)

Dex said...

I wish my bedroom had an en-suite. That's how small my dreams have become :)

Dex said...

Ugh, I'm going to be 31 soon and my mum is still making me packed lunches to take to work :S

Dex said...

Lakes of Canada by The Innocence Mission

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHuG0b0hJec

Dex said...

Hey Maggot. Just to let you know, you might be receiving a couple of parcels over the next week or so. I hope that's okay.

Dex said...

I think that summer in Shetland may be over :S

Dex said...

Cigarette Burns by Flunk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTUF1khnUBg

Dex said...

My plan for age 31-32 is to plot a 6 months break from work (they sometimes grant those). So then I can pretend I'm going to do something with my life :)

Dex said...

Ugh, work's night outing tomorrow :S

Dex said...

Have you ever been out with a group and just realised at one point in the evening that these are not my people? :S

Louise Boyd said...

Hah! Pretty much every time i've ventured out to experience some form of socialising. Even with my previous very best of friends =/ How do introverts socialise? Awkwardly.
Was it the work night out or something?

Dex said...

Yeah. Y'know the feeling when you decide to leave because you realise it makes very little difference to anyone else? :)

Louise Boyd said...

Fuck, i hate that feeling. And it's not even your fault, these are just really not your people. But our people don't socialise so... It's tough being introverted. If we were published in a book of creatures we'd definitely be branded The Lesser-spotted something or other. I really don't know how the normals do it =/

Dex said...

Thanks, Maggot. I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations.

Y'know, I sometimes worry that if I ever met you I wouldn't be able to think of anything to say :S

Dex said...

Finally got my glasses!

Dex said...

Ugh, seeing my face in the mirror for the first time when I put on my glasses... :)

Dex said...

Hi Lilliputty. I feel really embarrassed asking you this but I wanted to make you a mix for our birthday. I've got the cd burned and the cover design but have no idea how to transfer the images onto a cd sleeve. Do you know what the best way to go about it would be? I've tried watching some tutorials but they completely stress me out because I'm so useless at doing anything crafty :)

Louise Boyd said...

Don't be embarrassed ! I go to Emily constantly when crafty stuff is confusing me.

Now, cd sleeve-wise, it all depends on what you're doing. Is it to go inside a jewel case or are you doing what i do where you make the actual sleeve?

If it's the jewel case then just use a template like this: https://kevin.deldycke.com/documents/cd-template-jewel-case-leaflet.svg.
Copy and paste the template to a Word document (or Open Office which is a free download if you don't have Word).
Copy and paste your cover image to the word document and arrange it to fit (if the cover image is lying behind the template image, just right click it and choose "bring to the front").

If it's to make a sleeve, do everything i just said but use this template: https://nick-og.deviantart.com/art/DIY-CD-Slip-Case-Template-144604164

Does that help? I'm not very good at simplifying things i already understand. Yet another reason i'll never teach =/

Ps. A mix! A mix!

Dex said...

Thanks so much, Lilliputty. I was thinking the sleeve because the ones you sent me look so good but we'll see :) I'm so upset with myself that I couldn't get this done in time for our birthday (I've been thinking about it for ages) but I'll definitely send it to you the following week.

Other than the cd, I'm hoping you get the last of your presents by Saturday and that the other 2 have arrived. I'm actually really looking forward to doing nothing at the weekend. The parents are in Sandness so I should get to spend it pretty much on my own :)

Dex said...

I think some presents arrived today :D

Dex said...

I'm so sorry, Maggot. I fucked up with the cd sleeve. I made it too small for the cd! It seemed okay before I glued the flaps but afterwards it didn't fit. And of course I only discovered this when I was at the post office this morning (I'm such a moron). Still, I've sent you the mix in a case with a cover and all - as well as the unusable sleeve :) I promise I'll make you a correctly sized sleeve as soon as possible.

I hope you have a damn near perfect birthday, Maggot, with lots of cake and presents.

Louise Boyd said...

Too. Fucking. Precious :)

I fucked up at least 4-5 cd sleeves before i got it right so don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure i've sent you at least one that's completely squint! I just wanna know what's on it!

Two parcels have arrived and i just by the box of one that you're in serious trouble, mister. I'm banning you from the Folio Society!

Happy Birthday, Fungus :) I hope you enjoy your presents and the peace and quiet while i'm being mauled by old people 0_0 I'm in such a bad mood as well. Bring on the copious amounts of sugar!

Dex said...

Thank you so much for the presents, Lilliputty. They are perfect! Sugar, music and cartoons - I think you're the only one who really knows what I like :) I need to stop myself from devouring all those yetis. So, so frickin' good!

I just know I'm going to love Adventure Time. I've been meaning to watch it ever since seeing it on your blog but you know how crap I am at getting around to things. I'm very luck that I've got you to keep pushing me :)

And I'm so excited about the mix. I don't think I've listened to any of those songs before but scrolling down the list of artists, it's going to be amazing!

I'm very sorry Lilliputty that a couple of your presents will be late. I just looked on Amazon and the parcel they guaranteed would be delivered by yesterday is now estimated for Tuesday :( Hopefully you'll also get the mix by then too.

Happy birthday, Maggot. I do hope you get some time to yourself. If not, you can always put yourself into a sugar induced coma :)

Ps. I'm very glad you exist too :)

Dex said...

I honestly think those maple syrup yetis are going to destroy me :)

Louise Boyd said...

Is there a better way to go than over-consumption of maple syrup yetis? I think not, good sir, i think not.
I can only take credit for rolling, cutting and decorating the biscuits, however. The Emily made the dough and painted Reptar on the box (not that i wouldn't've but she had the idea and paint and i don't really mix...) so really it's a gift from both of us.
I'm real glad you like them. I did have a panic almost as soon as they were sent that i might not know you're allergic to something and poison you! 0_0 That would not have been so great.

American Gods :) You're in so much trouble. Sooooo much trouble but... you'rethebesttheabsolutefreakingbestbuti'mbanningyoufromthefoliosocietyohgodyou'rewaytoogoodtomeiloveitiloveitiloveit!

Dex said...

Holy fuck, it is Reptar! From The Rugrats! :D I thought it was when I saw the box but I figured it was a just a similar looking character used by the company - I'm so sorry, I did not realise it was hand painted!

Thank you and The Emily so much! That just made my day :D And I think the yetis look perfect - not that it makes me feel any worse for demolishing them :)

Lilliputty, I could never put as much thought and effort into a present as you do, so you may just have to put up with me occasionally buying you a nicely illustrated book from time to time to make up for it :)

Also, I hope you don't mind the mix too much. It's not particularly surprising - mostly melancholy sweetness and dreamy vocals as you might expect from me :) Also, you're probably the one who told me about half of the songs in the first place :)

Louise Boyd said...

The magic of a mixed cd isn't necessarily the discovery of new tracks, it's mostly the time and thought someone's put into it to make the recipient happy. That's the magic right there, my friend.
Plus, no one's made me a mix since my last boyfriend and that was going on 8 years ago. And i fucking love mixes! I listen to the ones i make you all the time =/ Is that vain? It might be slightly vain but damn, i give good mix :)

Y'know, i think the other gifts you sent me might have turned up today but i was showering and Em was out. Why can't the postman just leave the stuff somewhere safe instead of making me get it redelivered >_< I live in suburbia ffs! Hopefully on Thursday i'll get them. More presents, yay!


Ps. If you want the recipe for the biscuits i can give it to you but it may be too dangerous in your hands...

Dex said...

I wish I'd made you a mix before now :) I always want to share your mixes with people I know but then I think 'no, they're not deserving' :) You're pretty much the most important person in my life when it comes to music. I honestly don't think I would be the kind of person who goes looking for music if it wasn't for you. I actually love my taste in music now. It's genuinely one of the few things I like about myself. So thanks Maggot :)

I'd love the biscuit recipe. I know it may be the end of me but I think it's worth the risk :)

Dex said...

Looking forward to the weekend so I can enjoy Adventure Time :)

Dex said...

I forgot to ask you what kind of cake you had on our birthday? :)

Dex said...

So sad. Finished my yetis :S

Dex said...

Oh, this is the nice person who did the artwork for the mix.

https://www.instagram.com/eippek/

Dex said...

Just about to start watching Adventure Time :)

Dex said...

Adventure Time is amazing :D

Dex said...

Thinking I should use my Reptar box to start taking lunch to work :)

Dex said...

Trying to psych myself up for going down to Edinburgh on Monday :S

Dex said...

Adventure Time makes me ridiculously happy :)

Dex said...

Holy fuck, Lilliputty! Seriously, what a fucking playlist?! :D

Dex said...

And again. Thank you so much, Maggot. I know you want me to pick a favourite track but it's almost impossible - there are probably a dozen that I genuinely love. Maybe a special mention to 'Hate to Fall Asleep'. But fuck - 'Caught in the Layers', 'Cute Aggression', 'Destroyer', 'Stupid Face', 'Honeybear Pt II', 'Think About Death'...aaaaah, too many!

Louise Boyd said...

Ugh. This pleases me so much. I had this thought after i'd burnt the mix that it wasn't one of my best so i'm real glad you like it. I just this very minute finished putting my mix into iTunes and i'll report back on its awesomeness tomorrow (or probably a few days after because i'm the living worst!)

You shouldn't have told me about the artist who made the cover, i would have been dead impressed! Especially after my printing debacle. I swear to Jeebus, there is never any of the right ink in the damn printer when i make you a mix. It's a conspiracy i tell thee. I'll have to start hand making them and then it'll turn into one of those 80s scrapbook disasters where everything's covered in glitter and gold stars! Oh, the humanity.

Did you notice that i'd unashamedly stolen the design layout for the mix from Sunny Day Real Estate's Pink album? Copyright or a compliment? It is one of the best grunge albums of all time after all.

Ps. Of course you love Adventure Time, you're alive! Alive and with good taste and bossy friends :)

Dex said...

'I'll have to start hand making them and then it'll turn into one of those 80s scrapbook disasters where everything's covered in glitter and gold stars!' - just pretend you're doing it ironically :)

My knowledge of album covers is so poor that you probably could have ripped off Sgt Pepper and I probably wouldn't have noticed :) One of the best grunge albums of all time, you say. Your opinion is duly noted as I don't take statements like that made by yourself lightly :)

Ugh, I have to get up at 4am tomorrow to get the bus to the airport for the first flight to Edinburgh. And then I'm getting the last flight back so I won't be home until probably 9.30pm. It's going to be a long day :S

Dex said...

Managed to get a caramel frappuccino from Starbucks today :)

Dex said...

Marceline the Vampire Queen. She's kinda awesome :)

Dex said...

The flying wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The only time I had to close my eyes was during take off, the rest was fine. Scotland looks awfully pretty from the air :)

Dex said...

So happy that Mareel do chai lattes now :)

Dex said...

Just looking at all the awesome things you've sent me over the last few years that I still need to watch, read etc. I promise I'll get around them all one of these days.

Dex said...

I've been thinking I need to read another Discworld novel :)

Dex said...

I think the mix covers you've made me over the years are some of my favourite things ever :)

Dex said...

Tired of getting headaches. I should learn my lesson and eat something during the day :S

Ps. I hope Charlie is still doing okay :)

Dex said...

I'm sorry I still haven't got around to making you a proper sized sleeve for the mix. I suck :(

Dex said...

I really need to get around to ordering seasons 3 of both Hannibal & Penny Dreadful

Dex said...

I like how everyone younger than me at work talks about relationships, holidays, families, buying houses, getting new jobs and the only decisions I make are what films to watch at the weekend :S

Dex said...

Yay, weekend...

...except I'm working tomorrow :S

Dex said...

Saturday night is pizza and tiramisu :)

Dex said...

Everytime I listen to Asleep by Makthaverskan, I think of this post :)

http://stickyelbows.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/chase.html

Dex said...

I think I really need some time off work. I think I'd like to go to Sandness on my own with some music and films and just do nothing for week :)

Dex said...

Ugh, I got so mad at work today that I pathetically threw a pen at the wall as hard as I could. Everyone saw me do it and asked if I was okay and I just said 'sorry, dropped my pen'.

Dex said...

You know what feeling I love - when I'm trawling through music wondering why I even bother because I can't find anything I like and then I come across a song that I just want to listen to a million times :)

Dex said...

Going out for food tomorrow night with work people. Trying to be social :S

Louise Boyd said...

I admire how valiantly you keep attending these functions. l would have given up years ago =/

Ps. The mix you made is the floatiest mix i ever did hear. Dreamy and melancholy indeed. You must get freaked out when i throw 80s classics at you periodically 0_0

Dex said...

Freaked out in a good way :)

Dex said...

I hope the mix was not too sickly sweet :S I promise next time I'll try and give it a harder edge :)

Dex said...

I think I'm going to stop being sociable for a good long while. Nothing good ever comes of it.

Louise Boyd said...

What happened? =/

Dex said...

Nothing really. It's just that I never talk to anyone, people hardly ever talk to me, so I might as well not be there. It's all just super uncomfortable and I go home feeling more miserable than ever.

I guess I'm happier when I'm on my own. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing :)

Louise Boyd said...

It's both, i think. I'm the same and it's a sucky feeling. I can't even offer any advice because i've never figured out how to conquer it myself and i selfishly enjoy being alone but don't want to completely alone... fuck, why were we made so badly? 0_0

Dex said...

Maybe one day we'll find people who make us not want to be alone so much. Or at least make us not want to self combust whenever we're in their company :)

Dex said...

It sometimes bothers me that I'm still at the same point in my life as I was when we first started talking. Well, except that I listen to more music now :)

Dex said...

Round The Moon by Summer Camp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twIiFKa6vWE

Louise Boyd said...

Me too, buddy. Me too. I don't know about you but it just about makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I like being safe but i can't stand feeling trapped. But i can't even get myself to fight it anymore.
Sound familiar?

Dex said...

Yeah. I've pretty much given up on any kinds of dreams I may have had about how I'd imagined my life to be.

I wish things were different for both of us.

Dex said...

California Owls by Death & Vanilla

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yvpe_lklFww

Dex said...

One Second of Love by Nite Jewel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YMmX1f5sQI

Dex said...

In Love With Dusk by Keep Shelly In Athens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjNJ3sE6nvY

Dex said...

Black Car by Black Tambourine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25arcricAy4

Dex said...

Brightly Wound by Eisley

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEH2Ja3KnoM

Dex said...

Can't believe you've already read 56 books this year!

Louise Boyd said...

Reading is my one true love.
I finally figured that out.

7 hours of reading with breaks for food will show that to a girl.

Dex said...

Is there still space in your bedroom for more books? It must be a library by now.

Louise Boyd said...

https://ibb.co/mbhv6G
https://ibb.co/dfc6Dw

Definitely more room. Especially as i'm just about to plunder Amazon for more more more!

Dex said...

Your bedroom looks amazing :D

I've had such a bad day, Maggot. My parents have gone on holiday and have left me to deal with the people installing our new kitchen. Today they nearly flooded our house and I had to get our neighbour to cut off the water since I didn't know how to. Plus they've totally stripped our kitchen and are not going to install any of the new stuff until the first week of November.

I went to the supermarket tonight to buy some plastic cutlery and paper plates as I won't be able to do any washing up for a while. I'm so miserable right now :( Haha, I'm completely unable to deal with any kind of stressful situation. So. Fucking. Pathetic.

Dex said...

Jupiter by Desolation Wilderness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2JuSxyfMB8

Louise Boyd said...

Jeebus... i would probably have just run away at the first knock on the door! Mega kudos for not crumbling in the face of human contact and fucking terrible circumstances, my friend. Really, bravo.

How the fuck are you gonna survive until November? 0_0

Dex said...

I don't know. Can I come live with you?

Louise Boyd said...

If i thought you'd survive it, i'd say yes. We Boyds are a terrible bunch.

Dex said...

Maybe I'll stay where I am for now :)

I always imagine your family as being very knowledgeable about lots of things. And I know very little about anything. So I don't think I would fit in too well :)

Dex said...

Rain by Lowtide

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7miaBhbG4NU

Dex said...

I think I would come to your house just for the food. If those yetis are anything to go by (not to mention all those descriptions and pictures of baked goods over the years), I reckon I would be pretty well fed :)

Dex said...

I hope those kitchen people don't turn up tomorrow. I could really do with a quiet weekend.

Dex said...

Out of Sight by The Brother Kite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrm4Gp1pc8E

Dex said...

Teenage Love by Magic Wands

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV5SE3ZfNT8

Dex said...

A friend of my mum's left food at the house for me today. That's how pathetic I am :S

Dex said...

Wearing my Cowboy Bebop t-shirt today :)

Dex said...

I'm pretty much living off desserts at the moment :)

Dex said...

I've booked 2 1/2 weeks annual leave at the end of November. Apparently it's a legal requirement and I haven't taken enough leave this year :S

Dex said...

Friday night, 9.30pm, and I'm already in bed :)

Dex said...

I'm guessing you'll be watching Stranger Things season 2. I really need to catch up with the rest of the world!

Dex said...

Fader by Drugstore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ9Aoe7i1tA

Dex said...

To Forget by Manon Meurt

https://manonmeurt.bandcamp.com/track/to-forget-2

Dex said...

Happy Halloween, Maggot. Have lots of sugar.

Dex said...

I think I need to order some vampire teeth. Y'know, the sweets. I'm kinda craving them right now.

Dex said...

I hope you're still managing to see a little sunlight, Lilliputty.

Dex said...

There was a bonfire down the road tonight. When I was a kid I used to help collect bits of wood for it. Now I'm like the grumpy old man who refuses to leave the house and mix with the neighbours :)

Dex said...

I hope you're having a good weekend, Lilliputty.

Dex said...

Watched a nearby firework display tonight. Didn't even have to leave the house :)

Dex said...

Re-watching After Hours

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvwVHqRaf3Q

Dex said...

I'm sorry you had a bad day, Maggot.

But I'm glad you shared some music :)

Dex said...

It's almost 8pm and I'm stuck in my room because workmen are still here :(

Dex said...

I hear great things about the new Suspiria 4k restoration that's coming out on blu-ray.

Dex said...

Parents come home tomorrow. To a million things that I haven't been able to deal with :(

Dex said...

Okay, I promise this is the last time I say this but that birthday mix you made is soooooooo good!

Dex said...

Just need to make it through the next 10 days and then I get 2 and a half weeks leave from work :)

Dex said...

I'm trying to convince Mareel to screen the restored Suspiria. Like when I tried to get them to screen The Thing and I was the only one who bought a ticket. People up here suck :)

Louise Boyd said...

You live amongst the cretinous. Stick them with trowels, i say.

Dex said...

I should probably just try to fit in :S

Louise Boyd said...

Do it and you'll never see a Maple Yeti again 0_0

Dex said...

People, Maple Yetis, People, Maple Yetis, People, Maple Yetis...

Maple Yetis!

Louise Boyd said...

That's the Dex i know and love! Captain Candyclaws!

On a sidenote, i'm sorry for being such a shit friend lately, it's been a weird year for me and i get the feeling it's been a weird one for you too, so i'm sorry i haven't been as communicative as i used to be. I will try harder. Just know that you remain my favourite and not just because you buy me the most amazing things which make furious at you. That's just a bonus :D

Dex said...

You're the only one who would put up with me for so long who didn't have to :) I know you don't talk much about what's going on in your life but then neither do I. If you read back over my messages, there wouldn't be enough interest to cover a cream cracker :)

And the presents are only because you're my favourite person ever. Also you sometimes give me amazing mixes and yetis, 2 things I cannot make for myself. Seriously, I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life :)

Louise Boyd said...

If i could, i would make you Funko-sized and keep you forever in my book shelves. I'd make you a nest and bring you fun-sized sweets. It'd be like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids but more relaxed.

Dex said...

That is the most adorably creepy thing anyone has ever said to me. I imagine exploring your room would be both magical and terrifying!

Louise Boyd said...

You're not actually the first person to use those words in reference to me. I should probably be concerned but honestly i'm fucking delighted 0_0

You would suffocate from dust in my room. I don't know where it all comes from! Dusting might help...

Dex said...

:)

I don't care how dusty it is. I would happily spend my two and a half weeks' annual leave with you in your bedroom. You could choose the soundtrack and watchlist :)

Louise Boyd said...

As if it'd be any other way! I would be try and gracious though and let you choose some stuff to watch. Seeing as your taste isn't all that terrible i suppose... :D

Dex said...

Haha, thanks! Hopefully we still like some of the same kinds of things :)

Knowing you has certainly been an education :) Even after all this time, I still care a lot about what you think of my tastes. Not that it stops me enjoying them. You taught me better than that :)

Louise Boyd said...

Christ, i sound like some kind of dictator! And part of me likes that... =/

Dex said...

It's for my own good. I used to be fairly apathetic about most things before I met you. Besides, I like being bossed around by you :)

Dex said...

Pale Surrender by Savage Sister

https://savagesister.bandcamp.com/track/pale-surrender

Dex said...

I think I'll celebrate the start of my holidays by buying some junk food :)

Louise Boyd said...

You're just going to dissolve into pixie dust at some point and i'll have to scoop you up and put you inside a pixie stick and have a very uncomfortable conversation with myself as to whether it's cannibalism to eat you or not! 0_0

Dex said...

Fuck, Maggot! How can someone be so sweet and twisted at the same time?

Dex said...

Why don't you live next door so I can come over and squish you?

Dex said...

Space Age Love Song by A Flock of Seagulls - really just because I like this video of Jennifer Connelly rollerskating in a department store :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt9FG9YjBMM

Dex said...

I've just been going through films on Amazon and choosing some stuff to watch over the next couple of weeks. Didn't you tell me about the 80s film The Dream Team ages ago? Why have I not seen that before? :)

Louise Boyd said...

The Dream Team isn't Michael Keaton's finest moment but it remains a firm favourite of mine. He's one of those comedians that can make me laugh without having to do anything, his face is enough. Like Bill Murray and Charles Grodin. Funny, funny men.

What else's in the list?

Dex said...

Charles Grodin in Midnight Run, that's one of my favourite movies of all time. I've probably told you that a million times :)

Oh, just a bunch of 80s films that I haven't seen before or have seen in parts but never actually watched the whole way through. You'll be so disappointed in me when you look at the list and see how fucking useless I've been all my life.

Stand by Me
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The Goonies
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Big
Gremlins
Blue Velvet
The Fly
Poltergeist
The NeverEnding Story

Louise Boyd said...

Mostly i just seen a list of truly immense movies and a distinct need for 80s specific candy.

Dex said...

Hmm, I'll buy some Starbursts and pretend they're still called Opal Fruits :)

Louise Boyd said...

Fucking Starburst -_-

Dex said...

Indeed. Bloody fucking Starbust :)

I've really got to sort my life out. The only thing I've achieved after a week off work is that I got to crack the sugar on a pretty good creme brulee the other day. Is that an achievement? Well, I'm counting it anyway :)

Dex said...

I don't think I fully appreciated this concert film when I watched it in the cinema a couple of years ago.

This Must Be The Place by Talking Heads (from Stop Making Sense)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JccW-mLdNe0

Dex said...

Forever by Moonbeams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb5VwnvWBuY

Dex said...

Rotation by Ummagma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42ImzMejzwY

Dex said...

I've decided that I'm not going to this year's work Christmas party in order to avoid embarrassment and also because I don't particularly want to. I wish I wasn't so selfish but at the same time it feels like the only way I can survive :)

Louise Boyd said...

Preaching it to one of your own, dear boy. I was having a discussion with the eldest sister while she was home for the Dadmonster's birthday about the difficulties and benefits of being not just shy but introverted as well. Put us in a room on our own and we're perfectly fine, better than fine, we probably feel the most at ease but ask us to socialise and we're drained within minutes and subsequently have a social hangover for at the very least a day after. Reverse the roles for extroverts and they go batshit crazy on their own but thrive in social settings. Neither is wrong or bad, it's just that the world's set up for extroverts and not us quiet folk. It's deeply unjust but i guess the world would be awfully hushed if the introverts took over.
The only aspect of introversion i dislike is that it could potentially mean i won't have a partner/boyfriend/whatever you want to call it in the future. That bums me out because i don't enjoy being completely alone. I need to know people are there when and if i need them which sounds horribly selfish but what are humans if not entirely self-possessed?
...
Didn't mean to ramble! Essentially all of that meant: Do whatever you need to and fuck everyone else!

Dex said...

You know how much I enjoy your rambles :)

I just know you're going to end up with someone who makes you happy. And I will pretend to be happy for you while all the pettiness and jealously slowly eats away at my soul - this is the kind of friend you've landed yourself with :)

I did not know that Sarah no longer lived at home. Does she have a place of her own?

Dex said...

Hate To Fall Asleep by Wy is just one of my favourite songs ever. Thanks Lilliputty.

Dex said...

Insight by Heatherwood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnttEH6qJVo

Dex said...

Holiday nearly over. So little done :S

Dex said...

Mirrors by Crocodiles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbrM357TOCk

Dex said...

We have some snow here at the moment :)

Dex said...

If Emily does do a '12 Days of Christmas' on her blog this year (and I really hope she does), you can let her know that I have spotify now in case she makes a playlist :)

Louise Boyd said...

The Okay Bundle! I'm going to squish you into oblivion :D

Dex said...

Sorry Maggot, I could not see a way of making it a Christmas surprise :)

Dex said...

For My Star by Here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gui3E26GCNA

Dex said...

First Christmas lunch of the year tomorrow :)

Dex said...

Whenever I look through your pages, I keep thinking you should start your own podcast to share the stuff you like and your opinions. It would be so good.

Dex said...

I pretty much only look forward to the weekends now so as I can sleep some more :)

Louise Boyd said...

If sleep's so good for you then why does it get such a bad reputation?! Lunacy, i tell you.

I think unfortunately (and fortunately) you're the only one who would listen to said podcast. Plus, i'd have to record it all in the voice of a Skeksi because i can't abide my own voice recorded =/ It's too weird.

How's the run up to Christmas going for you, mister man? Ready to kill a bitch yet? I certainly am! The prospect of the best meal of the year and presents is all that's keeping my inner murderess under control at the moment 0_0

Dex said...

Looking forward to the time off. That's about it. Even though I've only been back at work for a week :)

I'd completely forgotten that they were called Skeksis and Mystics! My brain doesn't seem to retain much information these days. Although I don't know why Gelfling is so much easier to remember :) I don't like my voice either. It's one of the reasons I like talking to you on here so as you don't have to listen to it. I think the closest we ever got to verbals was when I accidentally pocket dialled you at Mareel :)

I'll probably order the last of your presents this weekend just to stop you hurting people :) Seriously Lilliputty, you don't need to worry about getting me anything this year. My family don't really do presents at Christmas anyway, just something token to stick under the tree. My mum will probably give me some socks :)

Dex said...

Lil Ivy by Acrylics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcF9mZr3jCI

Dex said...

I hope you have a quiet Christmas, Maggot. Food, films and presents.

Dex said...

You'll be so disappointed in me that I didn't manage to get through my list of 80s films during my holidays. I did at least watch Gremlins & The Fly. Also Tremors even though that is technically 90s :)

Dex said...

Your parcel arrived here today :) Thanks so much Lilliputty. I can't believe sometimes that I'm lucky enough to have you in my life although I have no idea why you put up with me to be honest, let alone give me presents.

Louise Boyd said...

It's because you're my person! And my people deserve presents and verbal abuse. It's the natural order, my friend.

Dex said...

I think there was verbal abuse almost from the start. That only happens with people I like the most.

Dex said...

There was a big staff party at Mareel last night. I was invited (as I still do some volunteer stuff) but couldn't face it even though there are people there that I genuinely like. For once I really feel like I missed out on something. Although it always seems like a good choice when I'm safe in my bedroom, listening to music and watching films, knowing that I could have been out somewhere feeling socially awkward instead :)

Dex said...

I may actually get around to watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia as it's now available on Amazon Video :)

Dex said...

Merry Christmas for tomorrow, Maggot. I'll try not to tear open the box as soon as it strikes midnight :)

Louise Boyd said...

I acted like a 5 year old and couldn't wait... :D You're the most generous little bastard.
So. Much. Manga!

Merry Christmas, Dexterous.
You remain my very favourite.

Dex said...

Lilliputty! I love it! Absolutely love it! First thing I did after opening it and reading the tag was to look up a youtube video of someone playing Stranger Things :D

I reckon you could just send me mixes the rest of my life and I would be perfectly happy. This is going to sound really stupid but I felt really nostalgic seeing The Last Line by Tammar on there. I remember you blogging about them back in 2012 and I made some random anonymous comment. I didn't have spotify at the time, so The Last Line was one of only 2 of their songs on youtube (along with Frost Meter, I think) that I could listen to. I just have a really clear recollection of sitting at my kitchen table (as my parents were on holiday at the time) on a sunny winter's day, going through your blog and listening to music and it making me happy. I know, I'm just a silly, pointless human but these things matter to me :)

Also, you must be some kind of sorceress to know to pick me out the Fudges and Cream Eggs! And mini Dime Bars are the best :)

I'm sorry if you have not yet got the Okay bundle. They said that the estimated delivery date is 26/12/17 although it also says that international shipping can take 4-6 weeks (it was sent on 12/12/17) but just let me know if it doesn't turn up soon :)

Dex said...

I need someone to make me the Matilda chocolate cake!

Dex said...

Spent the day watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and eating those chocolates you sent me :)

Also, Needle Felt Totoro. So adorable!

Dex said...

Detached by Asalto al Parque Zoológico

https://asaltoalparquezoologico.bandcamp.com/track/detached

Louise Boyd said...

Few things:

1. I'm the absolute worst for leaving it this long to say thankyouthankyouomgthankyou! for how fucking generous you are. I am not worthy. And i cannot leave the box of sweets alone. The acid flashbacks i'm having to being a kid are wicked.

2. I'm so fucking please you love you gift. I was so worried once i sent it off that it would be one of those gifts you get sometimes, you know the ones, the gift that's more of a demand than fun. It's really meant to be a "Hey! You're awesome. Ukuleles are awesome. Have a tiny uke and play if you want to or just hang it on your wall for something cool to look at!" I hope that's what it is. Even with my Stranger Things demand 0_0 But can you really blame me?

3. Okay arrived and it's so fucking beautiful i could cry. Aren't they just the best band for breaking your heart into smithereens?

4. Em says she'd make you Matilda cake but it's so damn sticky and easily meltable that she'd be surprised if it survived past the post office! I'll just have to eat you share for you :D

5. I remember that Tammar comment. It's why i put it on there. I've been trying to put into a mix for years and finally it felt right :)

6. I survived on no sleep on Christmas day. Fuck knows how. Apparently i said some loopy shit =/

7. I cannot wait to dive right into Blade of the Immortal :D

How was your Christmas, dear one?

Louise Boyd said...

"...you love your gift..."

Louise Boyd said...

"...have to eat your share..."

Apparently i'm struggling with this particular word today =/

Dex said...

I love it when you give me things to do and I love my new ukulele. These things are facts. I've been looking at a few other songs I could maybe learn as well, just for my own amusement :) It's honestly one of the nicest things I've ever been given. Thank you for still thinking I deserve nice things :)

I'm really glad you liked your presents. I still get super nervous that a) I've made a complete misjudgment or b) I've bought you something you already have :)

I read back that Tammar comment. I sound like such a musical newbie :) I always will, compared to you. Even though I absolutely love my taste in music now, I still totally see you as my go-to-girl. For almost everything. Always. I mean, who else would tell me about bands like Wy :)

My Christmas was okay, thanks. It was just a normal day really, with a bit more food :) I reckon I would rather spend my Christmas with loopy, no sleep Maggot than with anyone else :)

Ps. Emily's 12 days is so so good. It doesn't feel like Christmas without it. Can't you send her here to make the Matilda chocolate cake? :)

Dex said...

Nothing To Be Done by The Pastels (Crocodiles cover)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG1-pbkvmVo

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