tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post5388185096643956803..comments2024-03-28T22:43:16.538+00:00Comments on midnight hagette: assassin's creedLouise Boydhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-57993500988139074162016-11-02T09:32:16.174+00:002016-11-02T09:32:16.174+00:00Hey Kid,
You know I have been doing a lot of soul...Hey Kid,<br /><br />You know I have been doing a lot of soul searching the last few months (sounds wanky I know) and I realised I promised myself I would not just give up on people as easy as I had in the past. <br />So looking at it I feel I maybe gave up on you a little too easy. I can sort of understand not wanting me to hurt you because our friendship the first time round ended in a clusterfuck of fire and brimstone. I also understand you are in a much more fragile place when it comes to accepting friendships now too. <br />All I want to say is that I do not want to try to force my way back into your life as a friend, but also I do not want to give up too easily.<br />Now in saying that if you are adamant that absolutley no you do not want a friendship with me and will come back to me if and when you would like one then that is ok, I just didn't want to just give in at the first sign of adversity. I am willing to fight (maybe not physically because clearly you are brutal hahaha) and willing to I dunno put myself out there.<br />So yeah I don't know how to end this. thoughts please.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14201847254889612471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-52809008499637091642016-08-02T15:16:59.513+01:002016-08-02T15:16:59.513+01:00I don't think it makes you unevolved, I think ...I don't think it makes you unevolved, I think it makes you strong. It would be easy to say "hey lets be friends again and act like the past didn't happen" its much harder to admit the past would come up, it would hurt both of us, I would feel guilt, you would feel pain (or another emotion - I don't deal well with emotional words) and I imagine it would be so difficult for you.<br />So you saying no this isn't happen shows a great strength.<br />Obviously I am gutted but I understand and the email and number is always there if you want to use them. I will keep my expectations very low.<br /><br />I wish there was some way for me to make up for my actions in the past or some way to help you now. If there ever is something I can do please do not hesitate. I owe you.<br /><br />Also don't listen to Bon Iver when reading this, I was listening when writing and I'm a little bit emotional.<br /><br />You are quite awesome yourself, I hope things get better, I hope you show life who you are and kick its balls.<br /><br />Much Love kiddo,<br /><br />see you again in this life, or the next one.A.J Keenanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649504393643486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-24361204221855847832016-08-01T21:26:20.658+01:002016-08-01T21:26:20.658+01:00I can respect that, it's valid reasoning - wel...I can respect that, it's valid reasoning - well done for tracking me down, i try my best to remain unreachable - and if the ending to our particular friendship hadn't been so loaded then you'd probably find me a little less cagey. It's not that i still harbour resentments or think bad of you, in the end i was glad to not have to deal with all the bad blood flying around but for a long time i was incredibly hurt and angry, so i need to protect myself. I've no room for dredging up the past, it only leads to dwelling on things i'd rather leave buried and i've worked damn hard to get myself to a reasonably balanced place. If i'm honest, it's taken me years and i'm still broken but not miserable anymore and i refuse to hinder that in any way. Maybe it makes me unevolved to not be able to just be friends again but i'm not sure i can be. It'll always be there, what happened, and having one foot in the past will likely always cause me a certain amount of anxiety. Anxiety i'm ill-equipped to deal with. Which is why this really blows. We've always "clicked" and i don't with most people, so shutting this down actually sucks a lot for me, turning away potential friendships leaves me increasingly isolated but as you said, "it is what it is".<br /><br />I hope this doesn't come across as shitty and you may still receive that gif heavy email one day but for now i think i want to leave it here. <br />You're still a stellar human, Alan John Keenan. Stay that way.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-15152959362585752062016-08-01T12:03:23.823+01:002016-08-01T12:03:23.823+01:00Not too blunt at all, it's a pertinent questio...Not too blunt at all, it's a pertinent question.<br /><br />You know how our friendship ended, that's no secret. <br />My then girlfriend never asked me to stop talking to you but out of respect for her and her feelings I thought it was best to, it was not fun and not something I done lightly but I done it.<br />For the last 10 years I have filed you in a box called old friends which was growing and out of control (some for silly reasons some for really good reasons).<br />When my relationship broke down and ended this year I picked through that box and decided I was going to contact some old friends and just look some up, see how they were getting on.<br /><br />I have reconnected with my friend Jonathan and I reconnected with Craig too (you remember him don't you) and looked a bunch up, one of them was you.<br />I actually don't know how I found you as you are pretty off the grid but I found you, saw you baked bread, still loved art, crappy indie music (that I sectretly love) and were still very much in my wheelhouse of movie love.<br />I didn't want to bother you but wanted to check you were ok, so left an anonymous message. <br />Then it spiraled because I was enjoying the chat and you kept posting stuff that I wanted to talk about.<br />So decided to stop being a little bitch and tell you who I was, see if you even remembered me and if you cared to chat.<br /><br />So here I am now reaching out to an old friend who turns out I still very much get on with.<br /><br />So yup that's my story.<br />It's a really crap story but it is what it is.<br />Sorry.A.J Keenanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649504393643486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-14727508345713008282016-07-31T20:17:24.898+01:002016-07-31T20:17:24.898+01:00If it's not too blunt to ask, why are you reac...If it's not too blunt to ask, why are you reaching out now?Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-52411684792235134162016-07-31T03:08:42.423+01:002016-07-31T03:08:42.423+01:00Hahahaha thanks for writing back, totally didn'...Hahahaha thanks for writing back, totally didn't think how it would look if you did. It does look crazy but its all good.<br /><br />I'm really sorry to hear about that, I'd love to talk to you more about it but I doubt this here place is appropriate. If we end up chatting through other means someday I want the whole damn story.<br /><br />I made a promise that I wouldn't run from things years ago after I left a friend in a bit of a state because I wasn't prepared to look after him. So I refuse to run, I'm here if you need someone to vent to. <br />I know social anxiety well and run a group with a friend to help people in Glasgow essentially get out of the house and interact with other humans, its hard going but we have done fairly well so far.<br />Depression I have more of a strange relationship with, will explain some day, this isn't the place to run my mouth about my feelings (not that I have any left, cold dead heart and all that).<br />You have my number now so if you need to chat, need to vent need to call me names and tell me how I'm the worst person in the world go ahead. I feel so shitty about how we left things and feel I should have been there for you (not the only reason I am reaching out though)<br /><br />Yeah was that mill, I remembered it from that day, I can actually picture most of that day. <br />Yeah I done some research today and found out its flats, I want an abandoned mill to photograph, looks like I will be heading further afield. I do need to get to your neck of the woods soon though I remember those woods being spectacular, so disappointed with the mill though.<br />Glad I found out before I drove a million miles hahahaha.A.J Keenanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649504393643486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-9356364524537208692016-07-30T21:13:16.205+01:002016-07-30T21:13:16.205+01:00Hmm, feels like i'm talking into the void. Any...Hmm, feels like i'm talking into the void. Anyone reading this will probably presume i'm nuts - accurate presumption.<br /><br />I'm sorry but i can't meet up, not because i don't want to but simply because i've taken some hits to the old psyche over the years and it's left me pretty fucked up. Basic human contact beyond my family - and even then sometimes, bunch of monsters - has this hilarious way of breaking me down in small but swift increments until i'm but a puddle of anxiety-ridden slush. It's delightful. A round of applause for depression and social anxiety!<br />Run while you still can, dear boy, i'm a living nightmare.<br /><br />Is it perchance the Keathbank Mill? If so, it is indeed a wonderful building, one of my favourites and i'm pretty sure i walked you past it on your first visit to my little podunk piece of Earth. It's by the river? Seen from a wooden bridge? I think they turned it into disgustingly expensive flats.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-32912370631418347312016-07-20T23:51:21.817+01:002016-07-20T23:51:21.817+01:00Hey, that's awesome, looking forward to gettin...Hey, that's awesome, looking forward to getting a glimpse into Keenan, 10 years on.<br /><br />Until it's time to gif, bud.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-35836005898015192622016-07-17T15:23:03.315+01:002016-07-17T15:23:03.315+01:00Apparently I don't know how to not come on her...Apparently I don't know how to not come on here and write stuff hahahaha<br />Just wanted to say you inspired me to start my own blog http://tryingnottodide.blogspot.co.uk/ if you fancy having a look at it at any time.<br /><br />Anyway yeah thats the last time until in 15 years time I get Dr Horrible gifs and I'll be terribly confused.A.J Keenanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649504393643486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-40336591814292034962016-07-12T22:10:04.410+01:002016-07-12T22:10:04.410+01:00Thank you, it's really not necessary but thank...Thank you, it's really not necessary but thank you, i appreciate it.<br />Your email has been logged, stored, signed, sealed, delivered? so you never know what might show up in your inbox someday. No promises it won't be a flood of Dr Horrible gifs.<br />And stop by every now and then to ye olde blog. Y'know, for the bread.<br /><br />Take care of yourself, good sir.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-52528033623077840452016-07-11T23:49:16.280+01:002016-07-11T23:49:16.280+01:00I'm sorry this will be the last time I contact...I'm sorry this will be the last time I contact you.<br />Just wanted to say I will probably need to stop perusing the blog, its too hard not to comment.<br />The last month or so commenting back and forth has been really good, sometimes the highlight of my day, I miss it then when I see all the other conversations we could be having I'm like "ah crap"<br /><br />I really do hope to hear from you one of these days.<br /><br />I won't hold my breath though as that would kill me (or at least make me pass out)<br /><br />Anyway sorry again, for everything.<br /><br />AlA.J Keenanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649504393643486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-8771290720083581752016-07-05T14:24:08.884+01:002016-07-05T14:24:08.884+01:00Yeah I've had that email for years and use it ...Yeah I've had that email for years and use it for all sorts so I am happy for you to keep it and use it if you like.<br />If not then that's cool too.<br /><br />Take it easy,<br /><br />Al out Al Keenannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-3834320649416115372016-07-05T13:31:04.135+01:002016-07-05T13:31:04.135+01:00Fuck, i'm sorry to hear that, truly but i'...Fuck, i'm sorry to hear that, truly but i'm glad you're doing ok.<br />Can i keep your email? I know that seems like cheek after what i said but i dunno, maybe at some point it won't feel strange anymore.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-39508426062915097712016-07-05T10:20:04.832+01:002016-07-05T10:20:04.832+01:00I totally respect that. I'm glad you took the ...I totally respect that. I'm glad you took the time to think that over.<br />I regret not being up front about it, I have no excuse.<br /><br />Yeah I'm not married anymore.<br />Long story short we fell out of love.<br />We have both moved on.<br /><br />Anyway dude I'm glad you are still doing good and it was awesome talking to you.<br /><br />See you in that parallel universe.Al Keenannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-17864602770000979592016-07-04T21:52:52.697+01:002016-07-04T21:52:52.697+01:00Okay, so I took the weekend to think about it and ...Okay, so I took the weekend to think about it and I'm sorry but I'm not really comfortable continuing to talk. Our friendship ended for a reason, a reason I understood and respected but it's a reason that's ever present. It's sad because I loved being your friend at the time but shit happens and you made the right, if hurtful call but I can't imagine your then girlfriend, now <b>wife</b>'s feelings have changed about me, so I don't think she'd appreciate us talking. I don't want her to get hurt. I don't want to get hurt. It's got "shitstorm" written all over it and I'm honestly not up for that. <br /><br />It was nice talking, it really was, I wish you'd been up front about it though, it wasn’t exactly fair but it's ok. I hope you understand my decision and I hope you're good and life's good and everything's good and all that crap. Maybe catch you in a parallel universe or something. <br /><br />Stay cool, Keenan. Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-69446132949723432582016-07-02T13:41:09.460+01:002016-07-02T13:41:09.460+01:00Keenan? That you? Of course i remember you, dummy....Keenan? That you? Of course i remember you, dummy.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-34221890556144192912016-07-02T01:23:51.415+01:002016-07-02T01:23:51.415+01:00I doubt you will remember me as its been the best ...I doubt you will remember me as its been the best part of 10 years since we spoke.<br />I wanted to remain nameless because I was enjoying the chat, feeling guilty now tho.<br />My name is Alan.thatdudenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-55431095077558003342016-07-01T21:52:56.616+01:002016-07-01T21:52:56.616+01:00...I'd be a little creeped out? You're the......I'd be a little creeped out? You're the monster that lives under my bed, aren't you? <br />In all seriousness though, name yourself, mislaid acquaintance.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-47902910135802055932016-07-01T12:38:26.738+01:002016-07-01T12:38:26.738+01:00What if I said I know you or that we knew each oth...What if I said I know you or that we knew each other?thatdudenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-82406627547696059202016-06-30T21:39:28.532+01:002016-06-30T21:39:28.532+01:00I imagine so but this girl doesn't give her em...I imagine so but this girl doesn't give her email address out to just anyone i'm afraid, so i guess we're stuck? Or we move the whole conversation to a post of your choosing? - i took your spleen, you should get to choose.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-74847221979421470262016-06-29T10:03:40.671+01:002016-06-29T10:03:40.671+01:00I don't need my spleen. Have it.
Right I am g...I don't need my spleen. Have it.<br /><br />Right I am getting dizzy with all these comments hahahahaha<br />There must be a better way to converse than this.thatdudenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-817473743047346502016-06-28T22:05:52.256+01:002016-06-28T22:05:52.256+01:00I gave you a day's grace.
Because i'm lazy...I gave you a day's grace.<br />Because i'm lazy.<br />How's your spleen? Fancy lending me it?Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-5431753401083039682016-06-27T13:26:05.239+01:002016-06-27T13:26:05.239+01:00Oh shit!!!Oh shit!!!thatdudenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-66734049722456905222016-06-26T21:38:19.442+01:002016-06-26T21:38:19.442+01:002 hours and 22 minutes until i can threaten your l...2 hours and 22 minutes until i can threaten your life again.Louise Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141668103421466651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3694839447452204872.post-61506678691998376712016-06-24T22:26:57.525+01:002016-06-24T22:26:57.525+01:00Yeah give me a weekend off of the worry that I may...Yeah give me a weekend off of the worry that I may be hurt.thatdudenoreply@blogger.com