Went into work today just to clean and tidy my desk. Spent a good 5 minutes afterwards just looking at my handiwork - basically my now tiny collection of stationery and folders on a dust free desk :)
I have some very unexciting news. I may be be changing jobs at work. Only temporarily. And I'll get a little more money. But it also means moving desk. Just when I'd finally got mine looking the way I wanted! :S
I think Johnny waiting tables at the cafe is one of my favourite Schitt's Creek moments - 'you'll have your dressing on the salad like everyone else' :)
We have this regular staff welfare thing at work at Mondays where people from different departments in the building meet up for coffee and cakes and to have a speak. We got an email the other week to say that even if we don't want cake, we can just pop in to say hello. Obviously, I interpreted this as 'steal as much cake as possible and don't speak to anyone' :)
Whenever my parents go away, my mum always leaves me meals in the fridge to heat up because she doesn't trust me to buy food - or rather, she doesn't trust me to buy anything other than frozen pizzas and dessert :)
That wedding in June I was talking about - well, for some reason, I've also been invited to the hen party. And looking at the list of other people invited, I'm the only male. I did double check with the person organising it that they didn't just invite me by mistake but apparently not. Slightly concerned about how I'm going to deal with it :S
Oy vey, I think I reached a new record with bad budness. 24 days without replying. I'd scold myself but... the world's on fucking fire and I got a little overwhelmed 0_0 But I genuinely can't talk about that shit because my anxiety levels spike into panic attack territory and I try to have as few of those as I possibly can - which might be the reason my Monthlies are always so full... I'll do just about anything to distract myself from real life. Which is why you get the delightful job of telling me real person problems. I'm not sure I understand why you're the only guy at a hen party. Not that gender bias means even the tiniest of fucks to me but I don't know why you're the only one! Have other people finally figured out how majestically awesome you are? Because that's my thing. M I N E <_< I don't even you being in the throng of a drunk, handsy women, though - if hen parties are how i expect them to be. Maybe you'll be Netflix and actual chilling, I dunno! I kind of hope so. Hens are terrifying 0_0
New job, same desk? What's the job? Is it a better job? Are there benefits? Do you get doughnuts. I feel like new jobs should come with doughnuts 🍩 And what's this exercise nonsense?! Don't you turn healthy on me, mister. If you start eating kale smoothies, I might have to terminate this friendship =/
My ridiculously small real person problems - like hen parties and exercising and desk tidying :)
Don't worry about taking a while to reply, Maggot. So long as you keep doing a good job of distracting yourself :)
Well, I did have a whole Viennetta to myself the other weekend, so I'm probably not that healthy. And I've also been craving an Arctic Roll since someone mentioned it this morning :)
Well, I'm temporarily going from recruitment assistant to senior recruitment assistant. It's a worse job apart from a little more money and I did kinda get trapped into doing it. But at least I can use my tiny raise to buy the doughnuts they won't be giving me :)
Also, I didn't know we could insert doughnuts into our conversation!
I'm closing myself off from any kind of social media for a week. Except from talking to you :) Just going to lose myself in Prime, Netflix, whatever and shut my brain off for a little while :)
That is a most excellent plan. I can only squint at Twitter at the moment and look at the pretty pictures because goddamn, this is all too fucking much 0_0 I'm legit scared. Never felt this way before =/ So... it's totally okay to bury ourselves in comfort brain food, right? That's survival 101 for nervous introverts, yeah?
Congrats on the promotion you sound genuinely emotionless about. I don't know why but for some reason that makes me like you more? We're weird fucks, nothing else to say really.
I'm still trolling my way through Gourmet Makes and cursing my tv for making me ravenous with no access to... currently Ben&Jerry's. I'd kill for some Chunky Monkey. K I L L 0_0
Ps. Do you dunk the Kit Kit in the tea or not?
Pps. Hope you're okay up there on your island. Don't lick anyone.
To be honest, this is probably what I would have ended up doing on my annual leave anyway :)
I do wish things would go back to normal though :S
I know you like me but I have a feeling you'd still think I was expendable enough to send out for ice cream :)
No, I'm not a Kit Kat dunker. I like my Kit Kats to be fridge cold. Also, I have a thing about melted chocolate on my fingers. Yeah, total weird fuck :)
Weird fucks together, though, because I don't dunk either. I've never understood it. Once you dunk a biscuit in tea, the tea loses all sweetness... what's the point of tea if it isn't sweet?! Dunkers are barbarians. I'm gonna have to try this whole Kit Kat in the fridge thing, though. But I'll punish you if it sets of my sensitive teeth, mister.
You're not expendable! At least not for ice cream... :)
It genuinely all feels so fucking crazy. My parents have shut down the practice, except for emergencies, so they're home all the time now. But they're freaking me out because my Dad works with the public and my mum's unconfirmed autoimmune so they're really susceptible, yet they won't let me, Sar, or Em help with the shopping or grandparental watch. My grandparents are on lockdown and going stir crazy already. I don't know how my gran, being on her own and an extrovert who's basically never home, will manage three months+ of this shit. And I'm just scared in general. This feels dystopian 0_0 I just hope it helps and Covid-19 fucks the hell off. ... Mini panic for you. Sorry =/ My anxiety's crazy right now. Shall we make a pact? Mini panics are allowed but in general we stick to our usual nonsense to stay sane? Sound good? 'Cause I haven't told you about Charlie's cold yet, have it? - although, you've probably read it on Em's blog by now. He had Cat Man Flu. Not even exaggerating; he was pitiful. He sulked around the house for days, sneezing so hard he scared himself sometimes. It was adorable 0_0 Except for when he kept me up all night sneezing and wriggling. That wasn't so adorable. Or when his nose dripped on my bed. ON MY BED! He's lucky he's cute, 'cause if a human did that, they'd get banned for life. My cat is disgusting. I love him so much.
I think I've always thought fridge Kit Kats were a normal thing but apparently not :)
Your parents sound really selfless. They're probably just doing what they think is best and I still struggle to go against parental authority :) I just assume my parents know best despite much evidence to the contrary :)
Okay, I'll maybe post a mini panic one of these days :) You don't need to be sorry for anything you say here though. Because you're a nice person who cares about your family, you have yourself, your sisters, parents and grandparents to worry about. That's really fucking difficult!
I've packed my parents off to Sandness so I don't have to worry about them so much :)
Yeah, I did read about Charlie's flu on Emily blog, although she didn't mention the nose dripping on your bed :) I bet he thought he deserved all the sympathy :)
I'm going to try my best to enjoy my few days annual leave before I have to start home working next week. I'm just a bit worried that I'll be way behind everyone else when I start :S
For the love god, eat a grape or something, Fungus. You can dunk it in Nutella if you have to but some fruit or a vegetable (which you can also dunk in Nutella if you must), please, before you turn into a giant sugar cube 0_0
Ughhh quarantine is for sure going to end in bloodshed. It's like everyone's emotions are six times stronger than usual and trapped inside a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. I might cut a bit =/ Is you brother with you? Or do you pack him off with your parents? It's all just a ruse for you to have free reign of the house, isn't it?
Is there anything Freya does that isn't beyond adorable? I don't want to hate a child, Dexterous. She must have a flaw!
How's the home-work? Found reasons to slack off yet? Is it just like when you were in school and you'd do literally anything to not do your homework?
I think I would feel the same if my parents were still here. I've never cut myself but there are so many times that I've had to go to my bedroom and just hit something to let out my frustration! And over things that most people wouldn't care about. Yeah, I have a few emotional problems as you've probably realised over the years :)
I remember when I was staying with relatives in Sweden, one of the neighbours had some kind of mobile home in front of their house. I'm not sure if it was technically her room but their teenage daughter seemed to spend most of her time in there - I would see the light from the tv through the window at 2am. I just remember feeling slightly jealous that she had some kind of escape :)
My brother is still here but he works in a hospital kitchen so I do get the house to myself a lot of the time during the week :) I haven't really started the home-working yet as I've technically been on annual leave this last week but I'll see how it goes on Monday - I am a naturally lazy person when left on my own so I fear the worst :) But the desk in my room has wheels so I can set up my home office wherever I like :) I'm thinking the living room as it usually has more light and looks out into the garden. Although it can get a bit warm by the afternoon :S
There are some mangoes in the fridge. Obviously, I didn't buy them myself - they've just been left there by my parents :) Although there is no Nutella!
I know you probably don't want me to but is it okay if I worry about you a little bit? I know this isn't our thing at all but if you ever need to talk, or just want to scream obscenities at someone, you can always phone :)
Idiot. You're an idiot. Of course you can worry about me. I'm worried about you! And your family. This shit's scary. I probably won't call, though. Because I suck at phone conversing. I can't even do it with my family. I may have a reputation, and they may tease me mercilessly about it. Which, to be fair, is totally warranted. I did used to hang up on them a lot because the conversation wasn't going anywhere when I was younger =/ I was a shit-heel youth. But I do abhor talking on the phone. It never feels natural to me and when conversation isn't natural, I totally check out. ... I repeat, I'm a shit-heel. A shit-heel with a kinda, sorta, maybe awesome best friend :) Don't let that go to your head.
It's sunny here today! Actual sun. I went outside without a coat for the first time in months. Granted it was five minutes to take a photo and watch Charlie parade around the garden, flaunting his freedom like the little prick that he is but still. SUN! And my dad brought me Frosties breakfast bars. Good day. A very good day. You'd almost think it wasn't the viral apocalypse 0_0
I demand to know if you've watched any of the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen's stuff yet.
Ps. I would kill for shed/house to escape to right now. Swede's have got the absolute right idea. What's it like there? I always imagined it'd be uber-clean and stylised. Am I close?
I remember Sweden being very clean, everyone having a summer house, and people swimming in lakes :)
I can never think of anything to say on the phone. I'd probably end up asking you about the weather. And Charlie. And we talk about those things on here anyway :)
I can totally picture a young Maggot hanging up on someone as soon as she'd had enough :) Total shit-heel. And I'd probably still love you to bits :) I mean, who else is going to make me watch Claire (and her awesome shock of grey hair) from Test Kitchen :) Sorry, those are the only ones I've watched so far but Claire + sugar = new favourite thing :)
I hope you get more sun and breakfast bars tomorrow :)
When I delivered supplies to my parents in Sandness, it was the first time I'd been there in years. The house looked really nice inside and they now have proper wireless internet - I could actually see myself staying there in the future :)
I completely forgot that I get next Monday off work since it's a public holiday. I mean, I know I'm working from home so it doesn't really matter but still... :)
Happy Chocolate Jesus Day, Dexterous! Will we be consuming enough sugar to induce a technicolour yawn this fine seasonal day? Personally, I'm going to give it my best shot.
Went quiet again. Sorry 'bout that. Everyone's crazy in the Boyd family right now. I am officially emotionally wrung the fuck out. And if I don't get the final season of Schitt's Creek really bloody soon, I might have to finally have that epic tantrum I've been threatening since it started airing in America 0_0 I want to see my boys get married already! ... I just realised how precious you are. You're an actual decent male. No homophobia. Totally respectful of women. Disgustingly generous. And willing to let me inflict my dictatory ways on you. ... PRECIOUS. HUMAN. You're way better than chocolate Jesus. ... Enough ego stroking. I've got go stare at my computer screen like a vacant automaton and completely fail to write reviews for the Monthlies because my brain is pandemic sludge :)
I wish other people saw me the way you see me... Actually, I don't care. I just care how you see me :)
You'll be so disappointed with me but I don't really have enough sugary items in the house at the moment for a technicolour yawn. Maybe some syrup. I feel like Kiki, living off pancakes :) Make me jealous, okay?
I hardly ever look forward to things but the final season of Schitt's Creek is one of them. I'm so sure they're going to stick the landing :)
I bet your pandemic sludge will still find a million interesting things in your April post :) Your monthly posts seem like they're such hard work but I really hope you like writing them. Reading your thoughts on the things you love (especially the way you express them)... honestly, you're just so good!
I know I might not hear from you for a few weeks again but please don't worry about radio silence at all. You need to do what you need to do to cope with this fucking situation! Besides, it's not like you'll be missing out on me telling you about all my adventures :)
A bee got into the house today! I did manage to get it out the door eventually but I'm slightly terrified of bees and wasps, probably because I've never been stung by either :S
I actually think my parents are doing okay in Sandness. They go for walks on the beach, get food delivered to them by the local shop (and occasionally from me), have their lunch in the garden when the weather is nice...
Received a letter in the post today for my mum to say that she's been identified by NHS as a high risk person for COVID-19 :S
Although there is a good side to it as well. I'm not sure if I told you this already but my mum was signed off work for other reasons before the world went crazy and she was a bit worried about having to go back too soon. So at least she'll have more time :)
It does mean I'll be fending for myself until the middle of June, if not later!
Well that sucks. I'm guessing she's immunocompromised? My mum is too. I'm basically crossing my fingers for everybody I care about not to get this fucker of a virus, so I'll be throwing you and yours into the mix from now on. The power of crossed fingers is the strongest kid magic around.
For real though, I hope she's okay and the rest of the Eva clan. You, however, are going to turn into a pancake at some point.
Thanks, Lilliputty. She's had some trouble with her breathing these last few years. Nothing really serious but probably not the kind of thing you want to have with this virus lurking everywhere! But my parents are both fine. Enjoying their pretend holiday in Sandness - there's not many people and they have lots of food, dvds, internet, books, a nice view out over the loch, a beach where they can go for walks... sounds okay to me :)
I really hope your family are okay too. Whenever you've mentioned your mum over the years, the thought always get stronger in my head that she's the most amazing person, fully deserving of the strongest kid magic :)
And I did actually have pancakes tonight :S I swear I've been eating proper food too!
Pancakes are protein. People need protein to live. Thus, you're golden, my friend. Maybe add some jam, that's fruit! ... Fuck, I love jam. I go full Joey with jam. When I have it with pancakes, I tend to treat like a crêpe but with the traditional Scottish pancake, so it's basically a thick funnel filled with jammy goodness that ends up more outside of me than inside of me. ... Beautiful picture I just painted for you, huh?
Weirdly enough, my mum's also had breathing issues. Something akin to asthma but not? We're not entirely sure what it is but she gets super breathless when she's been walking around a lot and has this persistent cough. I really think this ageing malarky should work the other way round. Do the full Benjamin Button so that when you're older, once you've done your time, you get to be fully kid-like. Run around like idiots. Eat anything you want. That makes more sense, right?
I'm glad your parents are sequestered away by the water. That sounds bloody wonderful, to be honest. Reminds me of holidays I took as kid in a rented house 20 minutes from the beach. Our old dog, Cariad loved running around like a lunatic down there. Even when it was raining :)
Ps. I keep forgetting to tell you, my folks keeps asking after you. I inform them you've become a satanist with a strict pancake diet. Was that wrong?
That would be amazing! And you'd also be able to appreciate what it was like to be a kid too, rather than just taking it for granted :) But I do really hope your mum's cough goes away one of these days. If we can't go back to being kids when we're older, at least let people breathe properly!
A satanist with a strict pancake diet? Well, I wouldn't like them to think that I was only eating pancakes :) I does make me feel slightly special to know that your family have been asking after me. It's weird, my life has pretty much settled into a daily routine as boring as the one I had before. At least it shows I'm adaptable :)
Did you mean to link me to the c-virus news page rather than a picture of Joey covered in Jam? :) Boring fact, I was never a jam kid when growing up. But I like it way more now :) I never have it on my pancakes though (I really should start calling them crepes, the ones that I make, since that's what they are). Definitely would like it on a thicker Scottish pancake though, like you say :)
'Beautiful picture I just painted for you, huh?' - yes, it is actually was :)
Trust your family to have a dog with a ridiculously lovely name like Cariad :) Y'know, if it turns out we do get to relive our childhoods when we're older, I'm going to take you to Sandness for a holiday :)
I don't even know how that link happened... I don't even read anything about COVID online, I leave to other people to tell me things to prevent mental trauma 24/7... I meant to send you this joyous sight:
When I came across it I felt so seen! Shame we can't quarantine together. I imagine it wouldn't change much but at least I could throw things at your from across the room when you were working, or actually be a decent fucking human and bring you tea and biscuits and verbal abuse? Honestly, that's my way of showing affection 0_0 Oh, and then I could see Sandness because goddamnit, boy, I'm very intrigued by the special sandy place you speak of so often. Are there sandworms there? Do you know of the sandworm? Or is just my grandpa who traumatised me with stories of these weird lumpy things while on holiday?
Creamed Caramel Puddles (which are probably just fancy chocolate buttons) A Dark Collection (basically some kind of truffles) A Patisserie Collection (which seem to be chocolates based on desserts) A box full of all sorts of chocolates (it's actually called the Everything box!)
If you were here though, I would definitely be opening delicate chocolate negotiations with you and your Reese's PB cups :)
I did immediately have to look up the Joey jam image anyway when I read your original message :)
Maggot! Holy fuck, yes! There are sandworms all over the beach in Sandness (although not in the special hidden place)! You know when you haven't thought about something in years and then you're shown a picture that takes you right back to your childhood... you just made my day :) When I was a kid, I'm sure someone told me those piles meant that there were razorshells buried underneath and you had to dig fast or they would escape! I'm not sure if any of that is true in nature but it was kid truth :)
Having you around during quarantine while I'm homeworking? It would make everything better! I have images of the Michael Scott Paper Company, just sitting around throwing food in each other's mouths :) And I think we both know that your verbal abuse is practically an art form :) We should also throw Charlie into the mix, just to see what happens!
'I don't even read anything about COVID online, I leave to other people to tell me things to prevent mental trauma 24/7...' I sometimes think we're the same person living in different bodies :)
Ps. I do love the imagery you conjure up in your messages :)
My grandpa totally convinced me that the lumpy worm piles were were from sandworms burrowing to the surface and leaving essentially a skin behind when they wiggled free towards the sea. ... Turns out he wasn't completely winding me up! They're Lugworms and when they come to the surface they basically poop out all the sand they've ingested and what's left behind are lumpy worm piles. Nature is fun but gross.
I was terrified as a kid, though. I'd hop around the beach desperately trying not to disturb any of the castings just in case something wriggled out and lunged at me. Like the stripy worms in Beetlejuice. This is me as a kid at the beach:
I bet you were an ever so slightly adorable beach kid :) I had no idea that's what they were though. I could have done with some terrifying grandpa wisdom! At least he didn't try and convince you that they were the actual sandworms from Beetlejuice :)
I just assume people know what I'm talking about all the time :) The hidden place was just somewhere I used to sit for hours in summer. There's a loch in between our house and the beach. So the water runs down to the sea but just before it reaches the beach, it forms a small pool at the bottom of a sandy slope. I liked it because it was sheltered and no one could see you :)
I actually went to Sandness today, to drop off a prescription and food. So I was out of the house at 7.15am to do some food shopping, worked from home for most of the day (other that picking up the presciption), then drove to Sandness at about 5.30pm. I just got back about half an hour ago. So pretty exciting day by my admittedly very low standards. I will be rewarding myself with chocolate though :)
Isn't Schitt's Creek season 6 on Netflix tomorrow? Don't know if I should watch it straight away and all at once, or if I should wait and maybe watch an episode at a time :S
I had my first home working headache this afternoon. I used to think it was the office environment that caused them but apparently not. At least my bed wasn't too far away :)
I've just started. I needed my boys. I'm still as obsessed with Dan Levy's facial expressions and reactions to things as ever. I worship at the alter of his drama-llama beneficence. ... I'm going to cry, aren't I?
Oooh, high praise from the Dexterous. Okay, I'll trust you. I wasn't worried anyway; Dan Levy wouldn't let us down that way. Precious man.
I'm more worried about Alexis and Stevie at this point, than David and Patrick. They've got HEA written all over them. But the girls? Stevie's breaking my heart and I'm only four episodes in 0_0
Ugh, I've made so many mistakes at work these last couple of weeks. I'm just glad I'm working from home so I don't have to pretend not to notice people giving me evil stares all the time :)
It looks like my parents will be coming back to town on 11th June since my dad has a hospital appointment that day but I'm not sure if they'll be staying or going back to Sandness.
No pancakes in a week? But what about your medicinal intake of flat carby goodness? Won't you become deficient? ... I'm mean to you. And not sorry about it :)
Currently sitting in the sunshine, trying not to bake myself alive and keeping an eye on Charles. My dad painted a newly made bench with varnish and my idiot feline keeps trying to climb aboard. It's like he wants to get stuck and become a garden ornament that screams bloody murder. ... Terrifying.
I finished Schitt's Creek, Dexterous and I'm not okay! How will I ever get over this fucking show? Tell me, I need to know, I'm getting withdrawal pangs already 0_0
I don't want you to ever stop being mean to me. Also, pancake deficiency was a genuine concern :)
The thought of Charles as a living statue terrifies me! I just have images of him being like one of those Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, getting closer and closer every time you turn your back :)
Your dad made a bench?! Ugh, your family are so talented at so many different things :) I hope you get to enjoy it soon. Do you think it'll be a good place for you to read a book on a nice day?
I do wish there was a function to erase shows from our heads so we could enjoy them again for the first time :) What bit got you most? David and Stevie sitting on the car, looking at his future home? :)
Y'know, I'd never thought of the Charlie/Weeping Angels comparison but it's spot fucking on. He can glare you into submission. He's a screaming harpy. He has wings when he sits down. And he gets closer every time I turn my back. ... Holy fuck, I'm living with a Doctor Who nemesis 0_0 Pray for me?
Technically it's not a bench bench. It's a gabion filled with Nice rocks and a wooden top. It's real nice, though. Only problem I have with it is it doesn't have a back. My old lady spine needs support! Do you have benches in the Eva garden? And were you/are you a tree climber?
What bit got me the most? It depends what you mean. Which made me sob like an idiot? Definitely the David/Stevie car scene. I was dying for someone to say what Stevie did. Patrick's hurt little face was killing me too much for someone not to. But the pre-wedding interlude with Moira and Alexis was so lovely it hit me right in the feels. It hadn't occurred to me how much Alexis enjoyed being with her family and how much she'll miss them. There was also the pre-aisle walk with David and Alexis where she booped him on the nose for the last time. Their relationship kills me. And I can't get over Twyla and Alexis' moment in the motel. So soft. And Johnny's last look! It all killed me. Every damn second. It's a perfect bloody show and I'm going to miss it so fucking much :(
I used to love climbing trees! The ones in our garden weren't and aren't very good for it but one of my friends who lived in the same road had an amazing climbing tree :) I could swear that it had a tree house but maybe my mind is playing tricks on me because I want it to have been true :) Were you a tree climber?
I had no idea what a gabion bench looked like so I had to search for photos. They look really cool :)
No benches here, I'm afraid :( It's weird, we don't really spend much time in our garden and I have no idea why. I mean, it's a nice enough garden. Not amazing looking like yours, but it's okay and fairly big. The back is very shaded because of the trees and the front is maybe a little too exposed for me to feel comfortable lazing around in :) The side garden would probably be the best place for a bench because it's more hidden but still fairly bright. I'm trying to picture myself trying to build a bench for you if you came to visit - it would probably be like David Rose trying to build a cedar chest :)
Alexis and her nose boops just about finished me off :) It does make me a little sad that the family won't be together anymore. I mean, I always knew that barring some massive personality change, Moira would never accept remaining there but I thought Alexis might have stayed even though I totally get why she didn't. And easy to say it now but my money always was on David to be the one to stay behind :)
Anyway, despite the emotional wreckage, still so many hilarious moments :)
'My sister told me about this Twitter tag and asked me what my four I'll never tire of you, you're the softest things I own, come here and comfort me you beautiful papyraceous bastards books would be.'
Is that really how your sister worded it to you? You guys are the best :)
That sounds like the opening scene of a Ghibli movie. Like Baron Humbert von Gikkingen is just waiting round the corner to whisk you off on a feline adventure. ... I'll be so fucking jealous if you get to go on a whimsical Ghibli adventure. Don't you dare go without me!
Working almost 12 hour days at the moment (okay, maybe a slight exaggeration, especially considering the minimal effort I put into those hours). Also finding time to do the washing, clean the house, pay bills, do shopping and cook. Genuine adult, right here. Although I am currently watching Takeshi's Castle and eating animal cookies :)
One of my favourite work colleagues had their last day on Friday. I mean, she's coming back, but she's now started 12 months' maternity leave. And I'm supposed to be covering part of her job, which I still know next to nothing about :S
UGH, you're so lucky. Will you make s'mores with them if they do send them? Or top hats! Did you ever have top hats? Marshmallows dipped in chocolate with a Smartie on top? I don't even know if they're officially called top hats, that's just what they're known as in the Boyd residence. Speaking of the fam, how's yours? Your mum okay? How are you? I feel like you might be going a little crazy. Or am I just projecting my crazy onto you? 0_0 ... I want marshmallows...
I do remember top hats! :D I wonder if they still have them at kid's parties?
I've actually never made s'mores before :S Maybe I'll just put them in hot chocolate :)
They're okay, thanks :) Still in Sandness. Can't believe it's been 3 months! I think my mum's worried about going back to work (she'd been signed off with stress since February). Really, lockdown came at a good time for her!
I probably am going slightly crazy with no one around to keep my natural strangeness in check :) I still talk to people from the office quite a lot since we all have Microsoft Teams set up and even though I'm struggling a bit with the new role, my work partner is really great.
What about you? Are your family doing okay? I completely forgot about Emily's birthday at the end of May. I really hope she had a good day (and a delicious cake) because she would have totally deserved it (also, you guys are great at making birthdays special).
I threw it away so I'm not 100% sure but it was some kind of after shave balm - I looked at the ingredients and it had nut oil so I have decided to blame that :) I'd been using it for a couple of weeks without any problem but I can't think what else it could have been. It has started to heal now but my skin's really dry since I've been worried to put on any moisturiser until the redness goes away. I look delightful - pretty sure no one would want to get close enough to give me a noogie at the moment :)
You have a nice face too. Also, I don't think we've ever talked about the products we use. I feel like if I told you I'd just sound like Patrick Bateman from the beginning of American Psycho :)
I know way too much stuff about skin products. I've basically been a walking rash since birth, and I can tell you unequivocally, 100%, nut oil is a risky business when it comes to the old face skin. It'll either moisturise you to dewy perfection, or dry you out and break you out. I am not a fan of nut oils. But my skin hates everything, so I can't really be trusted. I will say this, however, moisturise the irritated skin. Especially after you've put the aloe vera on. Aloe's actually a bit astringent for something that helps with healing. So, let it dry, then throw some moisturiser on, and you should be golden. If not, I, uh, apologise?
Jesus, I'd forgotten about the American Psycho speech. Bale's so fucking scary in that movie. I love it 0_0
I can't even give you a list, though, because I use two skincare products:
No fancy shit for this face. Oh nooooo. Fancy face creams lead to Lilliputty's with itchy red faces that not even the finest of foundations can cover. ... For real, though, that moisturiser is the shit, and I highly recommend it, but only at night because the fucker does not sink in quickly and you'll end up walking around like some b-movie oil monster all day. Not good. Not good at all.
I've never really understood the point of aftershave. Why don't you just moistures? =/ Women don't put on aftershave. I don't get it.
I actually almost never put on any kind of aftershave product. But it was a Christmas present and I have a lot of time in the mornings at the moment to do stupid things like that :) To be honest, I don't really like skincare products for men - there's something about the smell that puts me off. I'm weird :)
I don't know but it always seems to me like you totally have your shit together when it comes to the things you prefer and recommend. I love that :)
I might have to try that moisturiser although my face has somewhat recovered, even the dryness is going. I was totally distraught at the reaction because I usually don't have many problems with my skin - it's about the one thing I have going for me :)
Banana bread cookies! My apple pie seems so boring now... just kidding, I love apple pie :) But I've never had banana bread cookies and I do get slightly jealous at all the different baked goods you taunt me with :) Did you make them? Are they soft or crunchy?
I did too! I'm completely discombobulated with the days at the moment. But I remembered, and a June Monthlies was born. Not my most difficult blog birth but a mighty fine effort. ... The utter shite that comes out of my mouth sometimes 0_0
Few things:
- You are not weird, all perfumed skincare is the devil's work. It irritates the skin, is totally unnecessary, and usually smells funky. Non-scented all the way!
- Banana bread cookies are soft but with a hard sort of shell. They're awesome. I can't stop eating them. I might turn into a cookie at this point.
- I do have my shit together with the things I like. I've just never been okay with sub-par things, especially if they go on my person. It's probably an OCD thing. Anything but the absolute right thing would make me twitchy 0_0
- Why did I just know you wouldn't have skin issues? Fucker. All that sugar and not a single blemish? Ugh, you're lucky the internet's in the way or I'd throw things at you :)
'The utter shite that comes out of my mouth sometimes 0_0'
Don't ever stop :)
You know what you like and I think that's why I love listening to your opinions. I just wish I had you around here so I could hear them more often. Even though you'd also likely throw things at me and steal my sugar :)
One of these days I'll learn how to bake these things myself!
Mrs Rose the triceratops - Emily really is a whimsically epic sibling :)
She is but that doesn't mean she doesn't tackle me to the floor sometimes and declare that I'm a snarfgoblin while she does it. I've got the carpet burn to prove it.
You have no idea how hard it was for me to send you two, TWO, boxes of giant pixie sticks and not keep them for myself. My greatest struggle. I still think of them wistfully.
Oh, fancy. What make you thinking of getting? ... I know nothing about PCs, so you could say you were getting a Moon Lance 4810 and I wouldn't be the wiser =/
Ughhh, birthday. I want a reverse birthday. No more ageing malarky. Presents, cake and Benjamin Buttoning, that's what I want.
That is absolutely one of the reasons I keep you around. You make me feel young!
I have an iPad and a MacBook. I'm too attached to them. They have broken me for PCs. It's troubling 0_0 I've heard good things about the Chromebook, though. I'm very intrigued by the Yoga laptops but something just feels so wrong about bending a laptop in half =/
I think my message from yesterday went walkabout - it was nothing important, just saying I ordered an Acer Chromebook :) Safe and boring and probably not very flexible :)
My mum has an iPad - she loves it. This is going to sound like a really dumb question, but do you use your iPad or MacBook for anything particularly advanced? I always imagine you as being really adept with technology, unlike me :)
Uhhhhh... no. I am not adept with technology. I'm average at best but only because it's a generational thing. Y'know, growing up with computers are whatnot. I could touch type before I even noticed I could =/ But I don't know anything advanced. The most knowledge I have is probably in basic html coding but that's pretty much useless not that CSS has taken over. I'm considering doing some online training in it, though. Might be cool if I could format my own damn blog without having to google things every two minutes 0_0
I did just buy myself a stylus to try drawing on my iPad. It's not going all that well =/ I just want all the functions/effects to happen automatically like they do when I draw with an ink pen! It's making me grumpy... grumpier...
Do you remember that movie Hackers with Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie? It was the movie that got my daydreaming about becoming a computer whiz when I was a kid. Then I realised I have absolutely no natural talent for computers :)
One of my old video tapes had a trailer for Hackers at the beginning - it's one of those films that I think I've seen but actually haven't :)
In high school we had activity week (which was basically for all the uncool kids who weren't away on school trips) and I remember choosing a day of internet surfing like a total geek :) I think board games was another one. I was very uncool :)
This is going to sound like such an old person question, but can you draw things in as much detail using a stylus on an iPad as you can with pen/paper? I have no idea what you can do with technology these days :) I just know you'll get past the grumpy phase soon enough and start to enjoy it. Or you can just start stabbing me with the stylus :)
I really like how your blog looks. I think one of the reasons I don't think I could ever make a blog (other than the fact it would be completely lacking in interesting content) is that I just know it would look rubbish - design is not one of my strengths :)
I'm sorry but WHAT?! They exist? Why did no one tell me?! Not going to the supermarket really leaves me out the cereal loop. Next time you're in the cereal aisle, find the most bonkers box of cereal and tell me about it. I need to know what's going on in the world of grains 0_0
I, personally, can't draw for shit on an iPad. I mean, I haven't practiced a ton, but it just feels wrong and disconnected. I want to learn thoughhhh but I think I'll need some proper YouTube tutoring. Ugh. Learning new things is hard -_-
Board games are awesome. You shut your nerdy mouth. I would've been hanging out at your table playing for sure. Especially if you had The Grape Escape. Fuck, I loved that.
I've been in a really bad mood recently, mainly because of work. I can feel it turning me into an even more horrible person and I don't like it one bit. I think I just need to calm down.
Sorry, I know that kinda came out of nowhere. I'm glad I have you in my life to talk about cereal and board games :) I'd never even heard of The Grape Escape! I'm going to have to see if there are videos of people playing it on Youtube :)
Learning is so bloody difficult! I bet you learn very well when you're really interested in something though.
Another Sandness drive. The last 6 miles or so are single track roads with passing places so it's always super fun when you meets another car going 60 in the opposite direction :)
Why does this feel like the saddest sentence in human history?
You wanna know the trick to iced coffee? ... ... ...
Barely any coffee. Like... 10% coffee, 75% milk, 15% syrup/sugar/sweetener etc. ... That's a lie, at least for me because it's more like 65% milk, 25% sugar. But I'm a monster. But so are you, so...
You bet your butt I do, Captain Candyclaws. Sugariest boy that ever did live. I bet your blood is syrup and your bones are made of candy floss. ... That made me hungry. And I'm fucking desperate for a milkshake. I could make one. But I'm laziest shit-biscuit in all the land. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ice Cream + milk + whatever the fuck you want eg. Oreos, strawberries, Smarties, gummy worms, pretzels! And then blend the fucker. Simple, magical, and delicious.
You say that like it's a bad thing... I mean, I'd have to ditch my jeans for joggers, but hey, I'm willing to pay that price!
DON'T put gummy worms in your milkshake. At least not before you blend it. That's disgusting. And cruel. Like boiling lobsters =/
I wanna make a milkshake that tastes like Carrot Cake. Or a cinnamon roll! Dessert milkshakes. That's what I want. I could make one with all the jam that's been made in this house over the past few days. SO much jam It's bonkers. What flavour would you make?
I wouldn't really put gummy worms in my milkshake :) Cinnamon roll milkshake sounds nice though. Maybe a tiramisu milkshake? Or would that be disgusting? Get into those joggers and tell me :)
What kinds of jam? Do you have a favourite? What have you been putting it on? So many questions!
I was thinking Tiramisu but how would you get the cakeyness? Putting actual ladyfingers would probably be gross =/ ... Googled it. You do put the ladyfingers in! Fuck it, now I have to try. This totally your fault, mister.
There is now raspberry, strawberry and summer pudding jam completely filling a cupboard in our kitchen. It's glorious and I'm basically eating sly spoonfuls of it throughout the day. And on toast. Jammy toast is THE BEST.
No. No one ever will. We are kindred sugar spirits. I've got dibs on one of your kidneys/lungs/bone marrow because I just know we'd match. The syrup-blooded are special breed of human.
It depends on the toast! Classic white? Thick. Sliced white? Thin because there's no choice (which totally doesn't piss me off, not at all). Sourdough? Medium but no jam. Marmite instead. Grainy? Thin. Wholemeal? Either or. Focaccia? Thick and slightly toasted. ... I could go on. Bread is my favourite thing. My sisters called me a Bread Witch just last week. And then promptly changed it to Sandwitch, because Emily's a smarts and cannot be trusted not to make terrible puns if the opportunity arises. =/
Summer Pudding jam raspberries, strawberries and blackcurrants. But I'm pretty sure you could add some brambles in there if you wanted. Either way, it's fucking delicious.
Best. Answer. Ever. I feel like I ask you the simplest, dumbest questions and you always give me interesting answers :) Also, I would have been ridiculously proud of myself if I'd come up with Sandwitch :)
Have you had actual Summer Pudding this summer?
Ps. Sorry, you may get a few things in the post this week and next. I've found it really difficult this year (genuinely) even though you are the best person to shop for. I don't know, I'm probably being really stupid. I normally order things from anywhere but thought I should be a bit more careful with all that's going on and just stick to ordering from within the UK.
Captain Candyclaws and the Sandwitch. ... Sounds like a kids book in the making :D
Holy shit, Dex. It's not even August yet! I haven't even thought about presents 0_0 I know you won't mind but I won't be able to afford much this time around. Covid and all =/ When I actually get a job, I'll buy you a domestic Hydra. Promise.
Don't think about presents. It's been a strange year. Think about you and your family and Charlie and books and desserts. Besides, I'll always have No-Face :)
There should be several things in there. Except they're all kinda the same thing. It's not very exciting though. I just thought they looked pretty neat :)
October 27th. National Black Cat Day. We decided. Because we don't know when our little demon officially hatched. I was pushing for Walpurgisnacht, for obvious reasons but I was shot down. Cretins. :)
I was trying to work out how the hell I knew what Walpurgisnacht was, and then I remembered it was because I looked it up last year when I asked you exactly the same question :)
Can you believe this is our 8th birthday together?!
Went into work today just to clean and tidy my desk. Spent a good 5 minutes afterwards just looking at my handiwork - basically my now tiny collection of stationery and folders on a dust free desk :)
I actually haven't been able to stop thinking about Vienetta these last 3 days, damn you :)
Happy pancake day, Lilliputty :)
I have some very unexciting news. I may be be changing jobs at work. Only temporarily. And I'll get a little more money. But it also means moving desk. Just when I'd finally got mine looking the way I wanted! :S
I keep forgetting that even though it gets lighter here in February, it's still cold and windy as fuck :)
Also, I think I may have posted this comment about 3 times :)
I think Johnny waiting tables at the cafe is one of my favourite Schitt's Creek moments - 'you'll have your dressing on the salad like everyone else' :)
Finally met up with ghost friend today :)
Seriously, how the fuck do you find so much to enjoy in a month?! I think you're slightly amazing :)
We have this regular staff welfare thing at work at Mondays where people from different departments in the building meet up for coffee and cakes and to have a speak. We got an email the other week to say that even if we don't want cake, we can just pop in to say hello. Obviously, I interpreted this as 'steal as much cake as possible and don't speak to anyone' :)
I've actually got 2 weeks annual leave booked from the 16th March. Pretty sure the majority of it is going to be spent in my bedroom :)
Someone brought in Tim Tams to work the other day. They're kind of like Australian Penguin biscuits :)
I've bought a Vienetta for the weekend :)
Whenever my parents go away, my mum always leaves me meals in the fridge to heat up because she doesn't trust me to buy food - or rather, she doesn't trust me to buy anything other than frozen pizzas and dessert :)
Actually had the house to myself today, for once. And it was raining so I had an excuse to spend it all in the sitting room watching tv :)
Somehow managing to keep to my daily 20 minute, ridiculously easy exercise routine :)
https://media.giphy.com/media/KXlcrakfMPwwU/giphy.gif
I honestly think I need to spend my annual leave sorting out my playlists. They're a total mess :S
Still feels like winter here :S
Okay, so if I get this new job I was talking about, it looks like I'll still be able to stay at the same desk :)
Finally found someone else in the office who has watched Schitt's Creek :)
That's my annual leave cancelled next week due to staff shortages :(
Hopefully I'll still be off the following week though :)
Probably just as well I don't have annual leave. All I've done today is watch It's Always Sunny in my room :)
That wedding in June I was talking about - well, for some reason, I've also been invited to the hen party. And looking at the list of other people invited, I'm the only male. I did double check with the person organising it that they didn't just invite me by mistake but apparently not. Slightly concerned about how I'm going to deal with it :S
Oy vey, I think I reached a new record with bad budness.
24 days without replying.
I'd scold myself but... the world's on fucking fire and I got a little overwhelmed 0_0
But I genuinely can't talk about that shit because my anxiety levels spike into panic attack territory and I try to have as few of those as I possibly can - which might be the reason my Monthlies are always so full... I'll do just about anything to distract myself from real life.
Which is why you get the delightful job of telling me real person problems.
I'm not sure I understand why you're the only guy at a hen party. Not that gender bias means even the tiniest of fucks to me but I don't know why you're the only one! Have other people finally figured out how majestically awesome you are? Because that's my thing. M I N E <_<
I don't even you being in the throng of a drunk, handsy women, though - if hen parties are how i expect them to be. Maybe you'll be Netflix and actual chilling, I dunno! I kind of hope so. Hens are terrifying 0_0
New job, same desk? What's the job? Is it a better job? Are there benefits? Do you get doughnuts. I feel like new jobs should come with doughnuts 🍩
And what's this exercise nonsense?! Don't you turn healthy on me, mister. If you start eating kale smoothies, I might have to terminate this friendship =/
My ridiculously small real person problems - like hen parties and exercising and desk tidying :)
Don't worry about taking a while to reply, Maggot. So long as you keep doing a good job of distracting yourself :)
Well, I did have a whole Viennetta to myself the other weekend, so I'm probably not that healthy. And I've also been craving an Arctic Roll since someone mentioned it this morning :)
Well, I'm temporarily going from recruitment assistant to senior recruitment assistant. It's a worse job apart from a little more money and I did kinda get trapped into doing it. But at least I can use my tiny raise to buy the doughnuts they won't be giving me :)
Also, I didn't know we could insert doughnuts into our conversation!
This is going to sound really stupid but I'd really like a kitkat and a cup of tea right now.
My parents are going to Sandness for a while so asked me what food they should leave in the house for me. I just said pancake ingredients :)
Really quiet in the office at the moment. Almost everyone is working from home.
Some of those miniature worlds posted by Emily on her blog!
I'm closing myself off from any kind of social media for a week. Except from talking to you :) Just going to lose myself in Prime, Netflix, whatever and shut my brain off for a little while :)
That is a most excellent plan. I can only squint at Twitter at the moment and look at the pretty pictures because goddamn, this is all too fucking much 0_0
I'm legit scared. Never felt this way before =/
So... it's totally okay to bury ourselves in comfort brain food, right? That's survival 101 for nervous introverts, yeah?
Congrats on the promotion you sound genuinely emotionless about. I don't know why but for some reason that makes me like you more?
We're weird fucks, nothing else to say really.
I'm still trolling my way through Gourmet Makes and cursing my tv for making me ravenous with no access to... currently Ben&Jerry's. I'd kill for some Chunky Monkey. K I L L 0_0
Ps. Do you dunk the Kit Kit in the tea or not?
Pps. Hope you're okay up there on your island. Don't lick anyone.
To be honest, this is probably what I would have ended up doing on my annual leave anyway :)
I do wish things would go back to normal though :S
I know you like me but I have a feeling you'd still think I was expendable enough to send out for ice cream :)
No, I'm not a Kit Kat dunker. I like my Kit Kats to be fridge cold. Also, I have a thing about melted chocolate on my fingers. Yeah, total weird fuck :)
Weird fucks together, though, because I don't dunk either. I've never understood it. Once you dunk a biscuit in tea, the tea loses all sweetness... what's the point of tea if it isn't sweet?!
Dunkers are barbarians.
I'm gonna have to try this whole Kit Kat in the fridge thing, though. But I'll punish you if it sets of my sensitive teeth, mister.
You're not expendable! At least not for ice cream... :)
It genuinely all feels so fucking crazy. My parents have shut down the practice, except for emergencies, so they're home all the time now. But they're freaking me out because my Dad works with the public and my mum's unconfirmed autoimmune so they're really susceptible, yet they won't let me, Sar, or Em help with the shopping or grandparental watch.
My grandparents are on lockdown and going stir crazy already. I don't know how my gran, being on her own and an extrovert who's basically never home, will manage three months+ of this shit.
And I'm just scared in general.
This feels dystopian 0_0
I just hope it helps and Covid-19 fucks the hell off.
...
Mini panic for you. Sorry =/ My anxiety's crazy right now.
Shall we make a pact?
Mini panics are allowed but in general we stick to our usual nonsense to stay sane? Sound good?
'Cause I haven't told you about Charlie's cold yet, have it? - although, you've probably read it on Em's blog by now.
He had Cat Man Flu. Not even exaggerating; he was pitiful. He sulked around the house for days, sneezing so hard he scared himself sometimes. It was adorable 0_0 Except for when he kept me up all night sneezing and wriggling. That wasn't so adorable. Or when his nose dripped on my bed. ON MY BED!
He's lucky he's cute, 'cause if a human did that, they'd get banned for life.
My cat is disgusting. I love him so much.
I think I've always thought fridge Kit Kats were a normal thing but apparently not :)
Your parents sound really selfless. They're probably just doing what they think is best and I still struggle to go against parental authority :) I just assume my parents know best despite much evidence to the contrary :)
Okay, I'll maybe post a mini panic one of these days :) You don't need to be sorry for anything you say here though. Because you're a nice person who cares about your family, you have yourself, your sisters, parents and grandparents to worry about. That's really fucking difficult!
I've packed my parents off to Sandness so I don't have to worry about them so much :)
Yeah, I did read about Charlie's flu on Emily blog, although she didn't mention the nose dripping on your bed :) I bet he thought he deserved all the sympathy :)
Got a laptop from the office and managed to get it set up so I can work from home :)
I'm going to try my best to enjoy my few days annual leave before I have to start home working next week. I'm just a bit worried that I'll be way behind everyone else when I start :S
Did I tell you that Freya is obsessed with dinosaurs? My cousin says their back garden is turning into Jurassic Park :)
Pretty much living on pancakes and cheesy pasta at the moment :)
For the love god, eat a grape or something, Fungus. You can dunk it in Nutella if you have to but some fruit or a vegetable (which you can also dunk in Nutella if you must), please, before you turn into a giant sugar cube 0_0
Ughhh quarantine is for sure going to end in bloodshed. It's like everyone's emotions are six times stronger than usual and trapped inside a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
I might cut a bit =/
Is you brother with you? Or do you pack him off with your parents? It's all just a ruse for you to have free reign of the house, isn't it?
Is there anything Freya does that isn't beyond adorable? I don't want to hate a child, Dexterous. She must have a flaw!
How's the home-work? Found reasons to slack off yet? Is it just like when you were in school and you'd do literally anything to not do your homework?
I think I would feel the same if my parents were still here. I've never cut myself but there are so many times that I've had to go to my bedroom and just hit something to let out my frustration! And over things that most people wouldn't care about. Yeah, I have a few emotional problems as you've probably realised over the years :)
I remember when I was staying with relatives in Sweden, one of the neighbours had some kind of mobile home in front of their house. I'm not sure if it was technically her room but their teenage daughter seemed to spend most of her time in there - I would see the light from the tv through the window at 2am. I just remember feeling slightly jealous that she had some kind of escape :)
My brother is still here but he works in a hospital kitchen so I do get the house to myself a lot of the time during the week :) I haven't really started the home-working yet as I've technically been on annual leave this last week but I'll see how it goes on Monday - I am a naturally lazy person when left on my own so I fear the worst :) But the desk in my room has wheels so I can set up my home office wherever I like :) I'm thinking the living room as it usually has more light and looks out into the garden. Although it can get a bit warm by the afternoon :S
There are some mangoes in the fridge. Obviously, I didn't buy them myself - they've just been left there by my parents :) Although there is no Nutella!
Freya's annoyingly perfect :)
I know you probably don't want me to but is it okay if I worry about you a little bit? I know this isn't our thing at all but if you ever need to talk, or just want to scream obscenities at someone, you can always phone :)
Idiot.
You're an idiot.
Of course you can worry about me. I'm worried about you! And your family. This shit's scary.
I probably won't call, though.
Because I suck at phone conversing. I can't even do it with my family. I may have a reputation, and they may tease me mercilessly about it. Which, to be fair, is totally warranted. I did used to hang up on them a lot because the conversation wasn't going anywhere when I was younger =/
I was a shit-heel youth.
But I do abhor talking on the phone.
It never feels natural to me and when conversation isn't natural, I totally check out.
...
I repeat, I'm a shit-heel.
A shit-heel with a kinda, sorta, maybe awesome best friend :)
Don't let that go to your head.
It's sunny here today! Actual sun. I went outside without a coat for the first time in months. Granted it was five minutes to take a photo and watch Charlie parade around the garden, flaunting his freedom like the little prick that he is but still. SUN! And my dad brought me Frosties breakfast bars. Good day. A very good day.
You'd almost think it wasn't the viral apocalypse 0_0
I demand to know if you've watched any of the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen's stuff yet.
Ps. I would kill for shed/house to escape to right now. Swede's have got the absolute right idea. What's it like there? I always imagined it'd be uber-clean and stylised. Am I close?
I remember Sweden being very clean, everyone having a summer house, and people swimming in lakes :)
I can never think of anything to say on the phone. I'd probably end up asking you about the weather. And Charlie. And we talk about those things on here anyway :)
I can totally picture a young Maggot hanging up on someone as soon as she'd had enough :) Total shit-heel. And I'd probably still love you to bits :) I mean, who else is going to make me watch Claire (and her awesome shock of grey hair) from Test Kitchen :) Sorry, those are the only ones I've watched so far but Claire + sugar = new favourite thing :)
I hope you get more sun and breakfast bars tomorrow :)
I had to deliver medicine and some food to my parents in Sandness this evening. Part of my ploy to keep them there :)
Apparently, the anime in your March blog is Himouto! Umaru-chan :)
I know I've been working from home but I'm still really looking forward to the weekend :)
It's been snowing here the last couple of days. In the morning, it looked a little bit like Christmas but it's all gone now.
When I delivered supplies to my parents in Sandness, it was the first time I'd been there in years. The house looked really nice inside and they now have proper wireless internet - I could actually see myself staying there in the future :)
I see Emily is also obsessed with Bon Appétit Test Kitchen :)
Had to drive to Sandness again. Still, I took a couple of the mix cds you made me for the road :)
So much pasta! :)
I completely forgot that I get next Monday off work since it's a public holiday. I mean, I know I'm working from home so it doesn't really matter but still... :)
It's actually been quite nice weather here the last few days. I'm so glad I have a garden :)
Happy Easter weekend, Maggot. Eat lots of chocolate :)
I knew Emily would get around to finishing her 12 days :)
Happy Chocolate Jesus Day, Dexterous!
Will we be consuming enough sugar to induce a technicolour yawn this fine seasonal day?
Personally, I'm going to give it my best shot.
Went quiet again. Sorry 'bout that. Everyone's crazy in the Boyd family right now. I am officially emotionally wrung the fuck out.
And if I don't get the final season of Schitt's Creek really bloody soon, I might have to finally have that epic tantrum I've been threatening since it started airing in America 0_0
I want to see my boys get married already!
...
I just realised how precious you are.
You're an actual decent male. No homophobia. Totally respectful of women. Disgustingly generous. And willing to let me inflict my dictatory ways on you.
...
PRECIOUS. HUMAN.
You're way better than chocolate Jesus.
...
Enough ego stroking.
I've got go stare at my computer screen like a vacant automaton and completely fail to write reviews for the Monthlies because my brain is pandemic sludge :)
Happy Chocolate Jesus Day, Maggot :)
I wish other people saw me the way you see me... Actually, I don't care. I just care how you see me :)
You'll be so disappointed with me but I don't really have enough sugary items in the house at the moment for a technicolour yawn. Maybe some syrup. I feel like Kiki, living off pancakes :) Make me jealous, okay?
I hardly ever look forward to things but the final season of Schitt's Creek is one of them. I'm so sure they're going to stick the landing :)
I bet your pandemic sludge will still find a million interesting things in your April post :) Your monthly posts seem like they're such hard work but I really hope you like writing them. Reading your thoughts on the things you love (especially the way you express them)... honestly, you're just so good!
I know I might not hear from you for a few weeks again but please don't worry about radio silence at all. You need to do what you need to do to cope with this fucking situation! Besides, it's not like you'll be missing out on me telling you about all my adventures :)
I'm going to have to give serious thought to house cleaning these next couple of weeks.
The 'burbs & Tremors were on my Easter Monday watchlist :)
Supposed to be starting my new job next week. It's going to be weird starting from home :S
I kind of miss walking to and from work at the moment. It's usually when I do my best thinking :)
Started my spring/summer 2020 playlist this week. I always get really apprehensive about starting to make playlists :S
Really nice day here today. I had ice cream in the garden :)
I've taken to buying smoothies from the supermarket so I at least have some kind of fruit :)
Big success today. Filled the car up with petrol on my own for the first time :S
Re-watching season 1 of Archer - you sent me the dvd on one of our birthdays :) 'M for Mancy' is maybe my favourite scene in the whole show :)
The weather here has been so nice since Friday. Although it seems like everyone but me is having a barbecue :)
A bee got into the house today! I did manage to get it out the door eventually but I'm slightly terrified of bees and wasps, probably because I've never been stung by either :S
I actually think my parents are doing okay in Sandness. They go for walks on the beach, get food delivered to them by the local shop (and occasionally from me), have their lunch in the garden when the weather is nice...
For some reason, I decided to spend today going through our old family photo albums, mainly from holidays in the 80s!
At the moment, whenever I finish something for work, I reward myself with a Kit Kat and tea. A four bar Kit Kat of course :)
I have been enjoying these quiet evenings in the living room, looking out over the garden :)
Received a letter in the post today for my mum to say that she's been identified by NHS as a high risk person for COVID-19 :S
Although there is a good side to it as well. I'm not sure if I told you this already but my mum was signed off work for other reasons before the world went crazy and she was a bit worried about having to go back too soon. So at least she'll have more time :)
It does mean I'll be fending for myself until the middle of June, if not later!
Well that sucks. I'm guessing she's immunocompromised? My mum is too.
I'm basically crossing my fingers for everybody I care about not to get this fucker of a virus, so I'll be throwing you and yours into the mix from now on.
The power of crossed fingers is the strongest kid magic around.
For real though, I hope she's okay and the rest of the Eva clan.
You, however, are going to turn into a pancake at some point.
Thanks, Lilliputty. She's had some trouble with her breathing these last few years. Nothing really serious but probably not the kind of thing you want to have with this virus lurking everywhere! But my parents are both fine. Enjoying their pretend holiday in Sandness - there's not many people and they have lots of food, dvds, internet, books, a nice view out over the loch, a beach where they can go for walks... sounds okay to me :)
I really hope your family are okay too. Whenever you've mentioned your mum over the years, the thought always get stronger in my head that she's the most amazing person, fully deserving of the strongest kid magic :)
And I did actually have pancakes tonight :S I swear I've been eating proper food too!
Pancakes are protein. People need protein to live. Thus, you're golden, my friend. Maybe add some jam, that's fruit!
...
Fuck, I love jam. I go full Joey with jam.
When I have it with pancakes, I tend to treat like a crêpe but with the traditional Scottish pancake, so it's basically a thick funnel filled with jammy goodness that ends up more outside of me than inside of me.
...
Beautiful picture I just painted for you, huh?
Weirdly enough, my mum's also had breathing issues. Something akin to asthma but not? We're not entirely sure what it is but she gets super breathless when she's been walking around a lot and has this persistent cough.
I really think this ageing malarky should work the other way round. Do the full Benjamin Button so that when you're older, once you've done your time, you get to be fully kid-like. Run around like idiots. Eat anything you want. That makes more sense, right?
I'm glad your parents are sequestered away by the water. That sounds bloody wonderful, to be honest. Reminds me of holidays I took as kid in a rented house 20 minutes from the beach. Our old dog, Cariad loved running around like a lunatic down there. Even when it was raining :)
Ps. I keep forgetting to tell you, my folks keeps asking after you. I inform them you've become a satanist with a strict pancake diet. Was that wrong?
That would be amazing! And you'd also be able to appreciate what it was like to be a kid too, rather than just taking it for granted :) But I do really hope your mum's cough goes away one of these days. If we can't go back to being kids when we're older, at least let people breathe properly!
A satanist with a strict pancake diet? Well, I wouldn't like them to think that I was only eating pancakes :) I does make me feel slightly special to know that your family have been asking after me. It's weird, my life has pretty much settled into a daily routine as boring as the one I had before. At least it shows I'm adaptable :)
Did you mean to link me to the c-virus news page rather than a picture of Joey covered in Jam? :) Boring fact, I was never a jam kid when growing up. But I like it way more now :) I never have it on my pancakes though (I really should start calling them crepes, the ones that I make, since that's what they are). Definitely would like it on a thicker Scottish pancake though, like you say :)
'Beautiful picture I just painted for you, huh?' - yes, it is actually was :)
Trust your family to have a dog with a ridiculously lovely name like Cariad :) Y'know, if it turns out we do get to relive our childhoods when we're older, I'm going to take you to Sandness for a holiday :)
Today was a pretty good day. You uploaded your April blog post and surprise fancy chocolate turned up in the post - I'm not even questioning it :)
The Other Day by Foliage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUzNhisT9DI
I don't even know how that link happened... I don't even read anything about COVID online, I leave to other people to tell me things to prevent mental trauma 24/7...
I meant to send you this joyous sight:
https://i.redd.it/vq384t2z59n41.jpg
When I came across it I felt so seen!
Shame we can't quarantine together. I imagine it wouldn't change much but at least I could throw things at your from across the room when you were working, or actually be a decent fucking human and bring you tea and biscuits and verbal abuse?
Honestly, that's my way of showing affection 0_0
Oh, and then I could see Sandness because goddamnit, boy, I'm very intrigued by the special sandy place you speak of so often.
Are there sandworms there? Do you know of the sandworm? Or is just my grandpa who traumatised me with stories of these weird lumpy things while on holiday?
https://previews.agefotostock.com/previewimage/medibigoff/ab17add77986a0867a1133248ab51d9f/mev-10983044.jpg
Lots of imagery in this message.
You're welcome.
Fancy chocolate? You speak of fancy choc-o-late and don't tell me what kind?! Do you not know me at all, Dexterous?
My chocolate isn't fancy but it is delicious:
https://data.whicdn.com/images/94135163/original.gif
The link doesn't work 0_0
...
SHENANIGANS!
Let's try this one more time:
https://media1.giphy.com/media/j3zy5QjmIjO9pruxqy/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47f97586ec66f2185340de144bc815405285058956&rid=giphy.gif
The chocolates were really random!
Creamed Caramel Puddles (which are probably just fancy chocolate buttons)
A Dark Collection (basically some kind of truffles)
A Patisserie Collection (which seem to be chocolates based on desserts)
A box full of all sorts of chocolates (it's actually called the Everything box!)
If you were here though, I would definitely be opening delicate chocolate negotiations with you and your Reese's PB cups :)
I did immediately have to look up the Joey jam image anyway when I read your original message :)
Maggot! Holy fuck, yes! There are sandworms all over the beach in Sandness (although not in the special hidden place)! You know when you haven't thought about something in years and then you're shown a picture that takes you right back to your childhood... you just made my day :) When I was a kid, I'm sure someone told me those piles meant that there were razorshells buried underneath and you had to dig fast or they would escape! I'm not sure if any of that is true in nature but it was kid truth :)
Having you around during quarantine while I'm homeworking? It would make everything better! I have images of the Michael Scott Paper Company, just sitting around throwing food in each other's mouths :) And I think we both know that your verbal abuse is practically an art form :) We should also throw Charlie into the mix, just to see what happens!
'I don't even read anything about COVID online, I leave to other people to tell me things to prevent mental trauma 24/7...' I sometimes think we're the same person living in different bodies :)
Ps. I do love the imagery you conjure up in your messages :)
My grandpa totally convinced me that the lumpy worm piles were were from sandworms burrowing to the surface and leaving essentially a skin behind when they wiggled free towards the sea.
...
Turns out he wasn't completely winding me up!
They're Lugworms and when they come to the surface they basically poop out all the sand they've ingested and what's left behind are lumpy worm piles.
Nature is fun but gross.
I was terrified as a kid, though. I'd hop around the beach desperately trying not to disturb any of the castings just in case something wriggled out and lunged at me.
Like the stripy worms in Beetlejuice.
This is me as a kid at the beach:
https://i.makeagif.com/media/2-26-2016/nOE5mS.gif
I have so much trauma from childhood 0_0
Ps. Special hidden place? Do tell.
Pps. CHOC-O-LATE. You suck.
I bet you were an ever so slightly adorable beach kid :) I had no idea that's what they were though. I could have done with some terrifying grandpa wisdom! At least he didn't try and convince you that they were the actual sandworms from Beetlejuice :)
I just assume people know what I'm talking about all the time :) The hidden place was just somewhere I used to sit for hours in summer. There's a loch in between our house and the beach. So the water runs down to the sea but just before it reaches the beach, it forms a small pool at the bottom of a sandy slope. I liked it because it was sheltered and no one could see you :)
I actually went to Sandness today, to drop off a prescription and food. So I was out of the house at 7.15am to do some food shopping, worked from home for most of the day (other that picking up the presciption), then drove to Sandness at about 5.30pm. I just got back about half an hour ago. So pretty exciting day by my admittedly very low standards. I will be rewarding myself with chocolate though :)
I've been trying to do a little bit of cleaning around the house every day - it seems more bearable in my head than doing one big clean :)
When I went to Sandness the other day, my mum had made me dinner to take home. I don't think she trusts me to eat proper meals :)
Cleaned the fridge tonight.
Exciting times :)
I really need to stop eating Kit Kats for breakfast...
I remember having one of these when I was kid:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/View-Master
Sorry, just feeling nostalgic today :)
It's actually snowing here this morning!
I'm doing such a terrible job of looking after the house plants :S
The weather here keeps going from winter to summer to winter to summer... :)
Isn't Schitt's Creek season 6 on Netflix tomorrow? Don't know if I should watch it straight away and all at once, or if I should wait and maybe watch an episode at a time :S
Maybe just a couple of episodes tonight...
I had my first home working headache this afternoon. I used to think it was the office environment that caused them but apparently not. At least my bed wasn't too far away :)
Schitt's Creek Tourism Video hosted by Moira Rose... my face hurts :)
Okay, the last 3 episodes just about killed me :)
Good to know!
I've just started. I needed my boys. I'm still as obsessed with Dan Levy's facial expressions and reactions to things as ever. I worship at the alter of his drama-llama beneficence.
...
I'm going to cry, aren't I?
I honestly don't think you'll be disappointed. And this is coming from someone who is never confident enough to recommend anything :)
Oooh, high praise from the Dexterous.
Okay, I'll trust you.
I wasn't worried anyway; Dan Levy wouldn't let us down that way. Precious man.
I'm more worried about Alexis and Stevie at this point, than David and Patrick. They've got HEA written all over them. But the girls? Stevie's breaking my heart and I'm only four episodes in 0_0
Well, I don't want to ruin anything for you :)
Also, I had to look up what HEA stood for. I'm such a loser :)
I'm never in the mood to find new things to watch these days. I don't know what that's all about :S
Ugh, I've made so many mistakes at work these last couple of weeks. I'm just glad I'm working from home so I don't have to pretend not to notice people giving me evil stares all the time :)
It's been so misty here these last few days. I keep hearing boat horns :)
Having a 90s film night :)
Throwing Lines by Kelly Lee Owens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyx-lpJYGCg
I'm gradually managing to make our house a dust free zone :)
It looks like my parents will be coming back to town on 11th June since my dad has a hospital appointment that day but I'm not sure if they'll be staying or going back to Sandness.
Sorry, kind of a pointless update :)
Good clothes drying day today. Sunny and windy :)
Pancakes tonight. Honestly, I haven't had them in like a week :)
No pancakes in a week? But what about your medicinal intake of flat carby goodness? Won't you become deficient?
...
I'm mean to you. And not sorry about it :)
Currently sitting in the sunshine, trying not to bake myself alive and keeping an eye on Charles. My dad painted a newly made bench with varnish and my idiot feline keeps trying to climb aboard.
It's like he wants to get stuck and become a garden ornament that screams bloody murder.
...
Terrifying.
I finished Schitt's Creek, Dexterous and I'm not okay!
How will I ever get over this fucking show?
Tell me, I need to know, I'm getting withdrawal pangs already 0_0
I don't want you to ever stop being mean to me. Also, pancake deficiency was a genuine concern :)
The thought of Charles as a living statue terrifies me! I just have images of him being like one of those Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, getting closer and closer every time you turn your back :)
Your dad made a bench?! Ugh, your family are so talented at so many different things :) I hope you get to enjoy it soon. Do you think it'll be a good place for you to read a book on a nice day?
I do wish there was a function to erase shows from our heads so we could enjoy them again for the first time :) What bit got you most? David and Stevie sitting on the car, looking at his future home? :)
Y'know, I'd never thought of the Charlie/Weeping Angels comparison but it's spot fucking on.
He can glare you into submission. He's a screaming harpy. He has wings when he sits down. And he gets closer every time I turn my back.
...
Holy fuck, I'm living with a Doctor Who nemesis 0_0
Pray for me?
Technically it's not a bench bench. It's a gabion filled with Nice rocks and a wooden top. It's real nice, though. Only problem I have with it is it doesn't have a back. My old lady spine needs support!
Do you have benches in the Eva garden?
And were you/are you a tree climber?
What bit got me the most?
It depends what you mean.
Which made me sob like an idiot? Definitely the David/Stevie car scene. I was dying for someone to say what Stevie did. Patrick's hurt little face was killing me too much for someone not to.
But the pre-wedding interlude with Moira and Alexis was so lovely it hit me right in the feels. It hadn't occurred to me how much Alexis enjoyed being with her family and how much she'll miss them.
There was also the pre-aisle walk with David and Alexis where she booped him on the nose for the last time. Their relationship kills me.
And I can't get over Twyla and Alexis' moment in the motel. So soft.
And Johnny's last look!
It all killed me. Every damn second. It's a perfect bloody show and I'm going to miss it so fucking much :(
Charlie has wings?! :D
I used to love climbing trees! The ones in our garden weren't and aren't very good for it but one of my friends who lived in the same road had an amazing climbing tree :) I could swear that it had a tree house but maybe my mind is playing tricks on me because I want it to have been true :) Were you a tree climber?
I had no idea what a gabion bench looked like so I had to search for photos. They look really cool :)
No benches here, I'm afraid :( It's weird, we don't really spend much time in our garden and I have no idea why. I mean, it's a nice enough garden. Not amazing looking like yours, but it's okay and fairly big. The back is very shaded because of the trees and the front is maybe a little too exposed for me to feel comfortable lazing around in :) The side garden would probably be the best place for a bench because it's more hidden but still fairly bright. I'm trying to picture myself trying to build a bench for you if you came to visit - it would probably be like David Rose trying to build a cedar chest :)
Alexis and her nose boops just about finished me off :) It does make me a little sad that the family won't be together anymore. I mean, I always knew that barring some massive personality change, Moira would never accept remaining there but I thought Alexis might have stayed even though I totally get why she didn't. And easy to say it now but my money always was on David to be the one to stay behind :)
Anyway, despite the emotional wreckage, still so many hilarious moments :)
https://i0.wp.com/media.giphy.com/media/eivSqlqhU8a9cYaEmj/giphy.gif?resize=480%2C325&ssl=1
https://media0.giphy.com/media/Tj42jChy1zXf0NOA3C/source.gif
I do wish I had a bench on which to sit in the garden today :)
You should see how desperately uncool I look when I have to put sunglasses on to drive to Sandness :)
I immediately started re-watching Schitt's Creek too :)
'My sister told me about this Twitter tag and asked me what my four I'll never tire of you, you're the softest things I own, come here and comfort me you beautiful papyraceous bastards books would be.'
Is that really how your sister worded it to you? You guys are the best :)
The good thing about working from home and being alone is that I can swear as loudly and often as I like :)
I think I've just about managed to bring one of the house plants back to life :)
More mystery chocolate arrived in the post today :)
The black and white cat was in the garden today while I was hanging out the washing. Heard the bell on her collar and there she was :)
That sounds like the opening scene of a Ghibli movie.
Like Baron Humbert von Gikkingen is just waiting round the corner to whisk you off on a feline adventure.
...
I'll be so fucking jealous if you get to go on a whimsical Ghibli adventure. Don't you dare go without me!
What kind of adventure do you think we're up to? A trip on the catbus? :)
Working almost 12 hour days at the moment (okay, maybe a slight exaggeration, especially considering the minimal effort I put into those hours). Also finding time to do the washing, clean the house, pay bills, do shopping and cook. Genuine adult, right here. Although I am currently watching Takeshi's Castle and eating animal cookies :)
Another bee got into the house today. While I was in the middle of a remote work meeting :S
I wonder if it's acceptable to eat tiramisu for breakfast.
Probably the first weekend in a while where I don't feel I have to work to get caught up :)
One of my favourite work colleagues had their last day on Friday. I mean, she's coming back, but she's now started 12 months' maternity leave. And I'm supposed to be covering part of her job, which I still know next to nothing about :S
I love the light evenings in Shetland during summer. It's one of my favourite things :)
17C here today. That's about as good as it gets for us :)
Another warm day. But it's misty now. Happens quite often around here.
Aren't you glad I give you weather updates :)
I think the worst thing about work is that when I'm done, I'm too tired to do the things I actually like doing :S
This weekend was supposed to that wedding I was invited to. I know I was petrified about going but I still wish things had turned out differently.
I don't want to get my hopes up but one of my work friends said they might send me homemade marshmallows.
UGH, you're so lucky.
Will you make s'mores with them if they do send them?
Or top hats! Did you ever have top hats? Marshmallows dipped in chocolate with a Smartie on top? I don't even know if they're officially called top hats, that's just what they're known as in the Boyd residence.
Speaking of the fam, how's yours? Your mum okay?
How are you? I feel like you might be going a little crazy. Or am I just projecting my crazy onto you? 0_0
...
I want marshmallows...
I do remember top hats! :D I wonder if they still have them at kid's parties?
I've actually never made s'mores before :S Maybe I'll just put them in hot chocolate :)
They're okay, thanks :) Still in Sandness. Can't believe it's been 3 months! I think my mum's worried about going back to work (she'd been signed off with stress since February). Really, lockdown came at a good time for her!
I probably am going slightly crazy with no one around to keep my natural strangeness in check :) I still talk to people from the office quite a lot since we all have Microsoft Teams set up and even though I'm struggling a bit with the new role, my work partner is really great.
What about you? Are your family doing okay? I completely forgot about Emily's birthday at the end of May. I really hope she had a good day (and a delicious cake) because she would have totally deserved it (also, you guys are great at making birthdays special).
I'm becoming so lazy I can barely drag myself to the shops to buy food.
I actually don't think I've spoken to anyone outside work, family & you since April :S
I always get slightly sad when we pass the longest day :)
I've been getting up 15 minutes early to do my exercises first thing. Mainly because I can no longer stand the thought of doing anything after work :)
I think I had a mild reaction to the face cream I put on this morning. I look like I've been out in the sun too long :S
Parents were back in town today for a hospital appointment. Went back to Sandness though. Probably until the end of July now.
Still dealing with that allergic reaction. My face looks terrible, worse than usual :S
Aloe vera, my friend. Slap it on and soothe that burn. I swear by the stuff.
This is one I use:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/PraNaturals-Pure-Aloe-200ml-VEGAN/dp/B0796TBL1F/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=aloe+vera&qid=1593299146&sr=8-5
My skin's always reacting to something, and this bad boy doesn't give me any negative effects.
Sincerely,
A Sensitive Skinned Girl.
Thanks, Lilliputty. Ordered :)
What exactly were you putting on your face? I need to know, for research purposes... and general nosiness.
Ps. You're face is nice. Shut up, or I'll pay someone in Lerwick to give you a noogie.
I threw it away so I'm not 100% sure but it was some kind of after shave balm - I looked at the ingredients and it had nut oil so I have decided to blame that :) I'd been using it for a couple of weeks without any problem but I can't think what else it could have been. It has started to heal now but my skin's really dry since I've been worried to put on any moisturiser until the redness goes away. I look delightful - pretty sure no one would want to get close enough to give me a noogie at the moment :)
You have a nice face too. Also, I don't think we've ever talked about the products we use. I feel like if I told you I'd just sound like Patrick Bateman from the beginning of American Psycho :)
Ps. I had apple pie tonight :)
I know way too much stuff about skin products. I've basically been a walking rash since birth, and I can tell you unequivocally, 100%, nut oil is a risky business when it comes to the old face skin.
It'll either moisturise you to dewy perfection, or dry you out and break you out.
I am not a fan of nut oils.
But my skin hates everything, so I can't really be trusted.
I will say this, however, moisturise the irritated skin. Especially after you've put the aloe vera on. Aloe's actually a bit astringent for something that helps with healing. So, let it dry, then throw some moisturiser on, and you should be golden.
If not, I, uh, apologise?
Jesus, I'd forgotten about the American Psycho speech. Bale's so fucking scary in that movie. I love it 0_0
I can't even give you a list, though, because I use two skincare products:
the aloe I linked
and this moisturiser
No fancy shit for this face. Oh nooooo. Fancy face creams lead to Lilliputty's with itchy red faces that not even the finest of foundations can cover.
...
For real, though, that moisturiser is the shit, and I highly recommend it, but only at night because the fucker does not sink in quickly and you'll end up walking around like some b-movie oil monster all day.
Not good.
Not good at all.
I've never really understood the point of aftershave.
Why don't you just moistures? =/ Women don't put on aftershave.
I don't get it.
Ps. I had banana bread cookies. So there.
"Why don't you just moistures?"
I swear to god, I proofread before I send!
*moisturise.
I actually almost never put on any kind of aftershave product. But it was a Christmas present and I have a lot of time in the mornings at the moment to do stupid things like that :) To be honest, I don't really like skincare products for men - there's something about the smell that puts me off. I'm weird :)
I don't know but it always seems to me like you totally have your shit together when it comes to the things you prefer and recommend. I love that :)
I might have to try that moisturiser although my face has somewhat recovered, even the dryness is going. I was totally distraught at the reaction because I usually don't have many problems with my skin - it's about the one thing I have going for me :)
Banana bread cookies! My apple pie seems so boring now... just kidding, I love apple pie :) But I've never had banana bread cookies and I do get slightly jealous at all the different baked goods you taunt me with :) Did you make them? Are they soft or crunchy?
I completely forgot it was the first of the month!
I did too! I'm completely discombobulated with the days at the moment.
But I remembered, and a June Monthlies was born.
Not my most difficult blog birth but a mighty fine effort.
...
The utter shite that comes out of my mouth sometimes 0_0
Few things:
- You are not weird, all perfumed skincare is the devil's work. It irritates the skin, is totally unnecessary, and usually smells funky. Non-scented all the way!
- Banana bread cookies are soft but with a hard sort of shell. They're awesome. I can't stop eating them. I might turn into a cookie at this point.
- I do have my shit together with the things I like. I've just never been okay with sub-par things, especially if they go on my person. It's probably an OCD thing. Anything but the absolute right thing would make me twitchy 0_0
- Why did I just know you wouldn't have skin issues? Fucker. All that sugar and not a single blemish? Ugh, you're lucky the internet's in the way or I'd throw things at you :)
'The utter shite that comes out of my mouth sometimes 0_0'
Don't ever stop :)
You know what you like and I think that's why I love listening to your opinions. I just wish I had you around here so I could hear them more often. Even though you'd also likely throw things at me and steal my sugar :)
One of these days I'll learn how to bake these things myself!
Mrs Rose the triceratops - Emily really is a whimsically epic sibling :)
She is but that doesn't mean she doesn't tackle me to the floor sometimes and declare that I'm a snarfgoblin while she does it.
I've got the carpet burn to prove it.
You have no idea how hard it was for me to send you two, TWO, boxes of giant pixie sticks and not keep them for myself.
My greatest struggle.
I still think of them wistfully.
They did make me very happy :)
I'm going to have to start thinking about birthday presents.
I think I'm going to buy myself a new laptop this month.
Oh, fancy. What make you thinking of getting? ... I know nothing about PCs, so you could say you were getting a Moon Lance 4810 and I wouldn't be the wiser =/
Ughhh, birthday. I want a reverse birthday. No more ageing malarky. Presents, cake and Benjamin Buttoning, that's what I want.
Something really basic. I don't use my laptop for anything fancy :) Maybe a Chromebook? You have an iPad, don't you?
I think you like keeping me around because I'm a year older :)
I went for an Acer Chromebook :S
That is absolutely one of the reasons I keep you around. You make me feel young!
I have an iPad and a MacBook. I'm too attached to them. They have broken me for PCs. It's troubling 0_0
I've heard good things about the Chromebook, though.
I'm very intrigued by the Yoga laptops but something just feels so wrong about bending a laptop in half =/
I think my message from yesterday went walkabout - it was nothing important, just saying I ordered an Acer Chromebook :) Safe and boring and probably not very flexible :)
My mum has an iPad - she loves it. This is going to sound like a really dumb question, but do you use your iPad or MacBook for anything particularly advanced? I always imagine you as being really adept with technology, unlike me :)
Acer Chromebooks are very cute. I might want one.
Uhhhhh... no. I am not adept with technology. I'm average at best but only because it's a generational thing. Y'know, growing up with computers are whatnot. I could touch type before I even noticed I could =/
But I don't know anything advanced. The most knowledge I have is probably in basic html coding but that's pretty much useless not that CSS has taken over. I'm considering doing some online training in it, though. Might be cool if I could format my own damn blog without having to google things every two minutes 0_0
I did just buy myself a stylus to try drawing on my iPad. It's not going all that well =/ I just want all the functions/effects to happen automatically like they do when I draw with an ink pen! It's making me grumpy... grumpier...
Do you remember that movie Hackers with Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie? It was the movie that got my daydreaming about becoming a computer whiz when I was a kid.
Then I realised I have absolutely no natural talent for computers :)
One of my old video tapes had a trailer for Hackers at the beginning - it's one of those films that I think I've seen but actually haven't :)
In high school we had activity week (which was basically for all the uncool kids who weren't away on school trips) and I remember choosing a day of internet surfing like a total geek :) I think board games was another one. I was very uncool :)
This is going to sound like such an old person question, but can you draw things in as much detail using a stylus on an iPad as you can with pen/paper? I have no idea what you can do with technology these days :) I just know you'll get past the grumpy phase soon enough and start to enjoy it. Or you can just start stabbing me with the stylus :)
I really like how your blog looks. I think one of the reasons I don't think I could ever make a blog (other than the fact it would be completely lacking in interesting content) is that I just know it would look rubbish - design is not one of my strengths :)
New laptop arrived today :)
I'm such a fucking child when it comes to shopping. 'Brand new cadbury coated oreos - gotta try those' :)
Also, peanut butter crunchy nut clusters.
"...peanut butter crunchy nut clusters."
I'm sorry but WHAT?!
They exist?
Why did no one tell me?!
Not going to the supermarket really leaves me out the cereal loop.
Next time you're in the cereal aisle, find the most bonkers box of cereal and tell me about it.
I need to know what's going on in the world of grains 0_0
I, personally, can't draw for shit on an iPad. I mean, I haven't practiced a ton, but it just feels wrong and disconnected. I want to learn thoughhhh but I think I'll need some proper YouTube tutoring. Ugh. Learning new things is hard -_-
Board games are awesome. You shut your nerdy mouth. I would've been hanging out at your table playing for sure. Especially if you had The Grape Escape. Fuck, I loved that.
I've been in a really bad mood recently, mainly because of work. I can feel it turning me into an even more horrible person and I don't like it one bit. I think I just need to calm down.
Sorry, I know that kinda came out of nowhere. I'm glad I have you in my life to talk about cereal and board games :) I'd never even heard of The Grape Escape! I'm going to have to see if there are videos of people playing it on Youtube :)
Learning is so bloody difficult! I bet you learn very well when you're really interested in something though.
Another Sandness drive. The last 6 miles or so are single track roads with passing places so it's always super fun when you meets another car going 60 in the opposite direction :)
Booked a couple of days off next week :)
Parents have decided to come back to Lerwick on the 29th July. Slightly dreading it, especially if I'll still be working mainly from home :S
One day until my long weekend :)
Did I tell you I got a mask for going shopping? Well, my mum bought it for me :)
Spent the afternoon watching Columbo and eating ice cream :S
I'm going to miss the summer when it's gone. Our garden actually looks really nice :)
Finally made iced coffee. It was okay :)
Finally made iced coffee. It was okay :)
Why does this feel like the saddest sentence in human history?
You wanna know the trick to iced coffee?
...
...
...
Barely any coffee.
Like... 10% coffee, 75% milk, 15% syrup/sugar/sweetener etc.
...
That's a lie, at least for me because it's more like 65% milk, 25% sugar.
But I'm a monster.
But so are you, so...
You know me so well :)
You bet your butt I do, Captain Candyclaws.
Sugariest boy that ever did live.
I bet your blood is syrup and your bones are made of candy floss.
...
That made me hungry.
And I'm fucking desperate for a milkshake.
I could make one.
But I'm laziest shit-biscuit in all the land.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
How do you make milkshakes? Is that like the dumbest question ever?
Dexxxx. Awwww. You make me sound life-capable :)
Milkshakes are the simplest fucking thing.
Ice Cream + milk + whatever the fuck you want eg. Oreos, strawberries, Smarties, gummy worms, pretzels!
And then blend the fucker.
Simple, magical, and delicious.
It's really that easy?! And I can add gummy worms?!
It's a good thing I'm not there. I'd be making you milkshakes all the time. You'd be my milkshake guinea pig :)
You say that like it's a bad thing...
I mean, I'd have to ditch my jeans for joggers, but hey, I'm willing to pay that price!
DON'T put gummy worms in your milkshake. At least not before you blend it. That's disgusting. And cruel. Like boiling lobsters =/
I wanna make a milkshake that tastes like Carrot Cake. Or a cinnamon roll! Dessert milkshakes. That's what I want.
I could make one with all the jam that's been made in this house over the past few days. SO much jam It's bonkers.
What flavour would you make?
I wouldn't really put gummy worms in my milkshake :) Cinnamon roll milkshake sounds nice though. Maybe a tiramisu milkshake? Or would that be disgusting? Get into those joggers and tell me :)
What kinds of jam? Do you have a favourite? What have you been putting it on? So many questions!
I was thinking Tiramisu but how would you get the cakeyness? Putting actual ladyfingers would probably be gross =/
...
Googled it.
You do put the ladyfingers in!
Fuck it, now I have to try.
This totally your fault, mister.
There is now raspberry, strawberry and summer pudding jam completely filling a cupboard in our kitchen.
It's glorious and I'm basically eating sly spoonfuls of it throughout the day.
And on toast.
Jammy toast is THE BEST.
I bet you're a ninja when it comes to sneaking spoonfuls of jam :) Big question! Thin toast or thick toast? Also, what's in a summer pudding jam?!
We sure talk a lot about sugar, don't we? I don't think anyone will ever get me as much as you do :)
No. No one ever will. We are kindred sugar spirits. I've got dibs on one of your kidneys/lungs/bone marrow because I just know we'd match. The syrup-blooded are special breed of human.
It depends on the toast!
Classic white? Thick.
Sliced white? Thin because there's no choice (which totally doesn't piss me off, not at all).
Sourdough? Medium but no jam. Marmite instead.
Grainy? Thin.
Wholemeal? Either or.
Focaccia? Thick and slightly toasted.
...
I could go on.
Bread is my favourite thing.
My sisters called me a Bread Witch just last week.
And then promptly changed it to Sandwitch, because Emily's a smarts and cannot be trusted not to make terrible puns if the opportunity arises.
=/
I forgot!
Summer Pudding jam raspberries, strawberries and blackcurrants.
But I'm pretty sure you could add some brambles in there if you wanted.
Either way, it's fucking delicious.
Best. Answer. Ever. I feel like I ask you the simplest, dumbest questions and you always give me interesting answers :) Also, I would have been ridiculously proud of myself if I'd come up with Sandwitch :)
Have you had actual Summer Pudding this summer?
Ps. Sorry, you may get a few things in the post this week and next. I've found it really difficult this year (genuinely) even though you are the best person to shop for. I don't know, I'm probably being really stupid. I normally order things from anywhere but thought I should be a bit more careful with all that's going on and just stick to ordering from within the UK.
Captain Candyclaws and the Sandwitch.
...
Sounds like a kids book in the making :D
Holy shit, Dex. It's not even August yet!
I haven't even thought about presents 0_0
I know you won't mind but I won't be able to afford much this time around. Covid and all =/
When I actually get a job, I'll buy you a domestic Hydra. Promise.
Ps. I have not had Summer Pudding. I am sad about this fact.
Lots of adventures involving sugar and bread :)
Don't think about presents. It's been a strange year. Think about you and your family and Charlie and books and desserts. Besides, I'll always have No-Face :)
A box came today.
An Amazon box.
I didn't order anything.
It's really heavy.
What did you do... ?!
Ps. How I meant to not open this for a full month? 0_0
It's taunting me...
There should be several things in there. Except they're all kinda the same thing. It's not very exciting though. I just thought they looked pretty neat :)
Argh! That makes it more intriguing!
You're the devil, I swear it.
Does Charlie have a designated birthday?
October 27th. National Black Cat Day.
We decided. Because we don't know when our little demon officially hatched.
I was pushing for Walpurgisnacht, for obvious reasons but I was shot down.
Cretins.
:)
I was trying to work out how the hell I knew what Walpurgisnacht was, and then I remembered it was because I looked it up last year when I asked you exactly the same question :)
Can you believe this is our 8th birthday together?!
That is legit bonkers. We're so old 0_0
When we reach the 10 year mark, will we disintegrate like Skeksis?
My body does feel like it's going that way sometimes :)
To be honest, anything pre-2010 seems like it was another life...
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