august

September 01, 2024

Things I enjoyed in the month of August:

 Thea Guanzon's, The Hurricane Wars:

He heard her before he saw her, a high and golden hum that cut through the chaos of battle like the first flare of sunrise. [...] Loose strands of bedraggled chestnut hair streamed in the montane wind, escaping her braid to gram an oval face with freckled, olive-skinned features. She was coltish on the bobbing ice, light blazing in her hands against the swirling darkness, the twitching body of one of his men crumbled at her feet. He hurtled forward, a weapon of his own blocking what would have been her killing blow to his erstwhile legionnaire, and as she staggered back her eyes met his, her magic reflected in shards of gold setting fire to brown irises, and perhaps this, too, was how a war began. In the space between heartbeats. In the room of night,
He lunged at her.


Hark! A story I was predominantly underwhelmed by but - by the grace of at-last-released sexual tension - managed to drag me back in by the scruff of my enemies-to-lovers-loving neck at the very end!
...
Season 4 Reaction GIF by The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Due to the aforementioned underwhelm, this is not going to be a long review, practically diminutive in stature, because I largely have no thoughts.
Nothing in the brainpan.
Not a whisper of vibes or feels.
And moreover, no intense desire to analyse The Hurricane Wars more than my brain already did whilst reading it - digesting was enough for me.
Which all sounds like it should lead to a negative review, right? Nothing scathing but nothing positive either?
You would think... but no, it's a solid three star read with:

⛈️ Beautiful world-building
(The Filipino climate and landscape is beautifully present, along with mythology and seriously amazing sounding food)


[Talasyn] hauled herself up over the battlement and onto a balcony, her feet on flat, solid flooring once more. The royal palace was perched atop steep limestone cliffs that overlooked the sweeping city of gold that she had once seen in a vision. From this town, she had an excellent view of lush gardens, gleaming waterways, and busy streets dotted with landing grids where constant streams of airships―coracles and freighters and pleasure yachts and consular barges alike―came to dock. The skyline was dominated by curvilinear buildings fashioned from stone and gold and metal glass, although none stood as tall as the Roof of Heaven itself, and tucked among them were pockets of residential areas where houses atop wooden stilts sported brightly colored facades and ornate stucco pillars, capped by upturned eaves and multi-inclined roofs that were home to bronze weathervanes depicting roosters and pigs and dragons, swiveling with each breath of wind.

...

Red-gold sunset was pouring over the ancient ruins in a molten haze by the time Alaric and Talasyn made it to the mountaintop. The Lightweaver shrine had been a vast, ethereal thing when she'd first seen it, silvered in moonlight; in the fiery glow of a dying day its weathered sandstone facade contrasted starkly against the rolling dark green jungle within which it reclined, solemn and immense, like a forgotten god on a long-lost throne, the faces of its multitude of carved dancing figures peering out from vines and bramble with enigmatic half-smiles lurked the secrets of the past.


⛈️ Interesting magical systems
(Elemental magic is always fun, but the "Storm Magic" as a reflection of the typhoons the Philippines struggles against on a yearly basis was a compelling and relevant nod).

⛈️ Your classic "light" vs "dark" trope
(It's been done a gazillion times but it never fails to compel, especially when the concept of "it depends what side you're on" is practiced instead of a clear back/white distinction)

⛈️ It starts with a bang
(They meet on a battlefield, she head-butts him and runs away. Stunning)

⛈️ Steampunk engineering and floating castles
(The slide between the bejewelled, hovering extravagance of the Nenavarene palace with its sticky jungles and exotic creatures to the aetherially-powered, clockworked patina of the Sardovian flying machines known as Wasps was a sumptuous contrast I gulped down with an appreciative chew)


Mounted on a roughly circular bed of glossy, midnight-black volcanic rock that was nearly as wide as a stormship, wreathed in the emerald veils of what must have been hundreds of aether hearts, was a massive assemblage of steel towers and ornate copper-sculpted battlements, speckled with a plethora of large metalglass windows tinted pink by the dawn's rosy light, threaded through with huge, whirring clockwork gears, and capped with golden spires.
This, then, was the flagship of the Nenavarene queen, and it was―
"A castle," General Bieshimma said blankly. "A floating castle."


⛈️ An MC who know how to bicker-flirt in the face of forced proximity
(It's my weakness, there's no denying it; throw two people who hate each other but clearly want to suck face into an enclosed space together and it's undeniable magic. ... If a little underused in this particular case)


"I was eight when the Nenavarene civil war took place," [Alaric] said at last, as mildly as though he were commenting on the state of the weather.
"What does that have to do with anything?" [Talasyn] snapped.
"You're very young." The corner of his lip ticked upward, as if he was enjoying a private joke at her expense.
"Perhaps that's why I keep besting you in combat," she huffed. "Because you're old and slow."
One moment she was standing a couple of feet across from him; the next, she was backed up against the very edge of the pool, one wrong move away from falling into it, and Alaric was all that she could see, the expanse of his broad shoulders, the dark of his pupils wide in the radiant night, the constellation of beauty marks on his pale skin.
[...]
"Haven't you learned to respect your elders, my lady?"

...

Alaric's knee started bouncing under the table―a mannerism that he rarely indulged in, but he was bored and uncomfortable and this night couldn't end soon enough. He didn't realize that he was jostling Talasyn's leg until he felt a light slap on his knee and he glanced down to see her hand still poised above it, her wedding band sparkling on her ring finger.
"Did you just spank me?" he asked, incredulous.
"Either stay still or sit farther away," she told her plate.
Alaric was not, by nature, a petty man. He was also keenly aware that he was seven years older than his bride and it would behoove him to act in a manner befitting not only an emperor but also the mature one in this fraught relationship. However, one glance at Talasyn's ferocious little scale, her profile scrunched up in annoyance, was all that it took fro him to spread his legs wider, encroaching into her space.
She turned to him with a glare, clutching her fork as if she was about to stab him with it. He gave her his frostiest smirk, all trace of discomfort forgotten. Now this felt like home.


It genuinely has everything I love in the Romantasy genre, along with being well written, compellingly written, with fleshed out characterisation, dialogue that didn't give me the ick from its inauthenticity (Alaric and Talasyn are genuinely funny at times), and a clear vision of the world the story inhabits without losing itself in too many elements crowding the narrative.
Like I said, it's a solid three stars.
But where it triumphed in aesthetics, it failed to move me in any way, which isn't a need but a demand in my reading life.
One that wasn't fulfilled in this story because I don't really care about Talasyn and Alaric very much, to the point that even though the most interesting parts of the story happen when they're alone together, skidding from throwing hands, to deep and meaningfuls, to grab-assing, those moments refused to hold any weight.
There's no meat to their interactions, no real substance, nothing to sink your teeth into, and if I can't root for them, if I can't feel my heart beat a little faster when they spar, what's the point?
Why would I continue?
Well, here's where the word "however" comes out to play.
And I mean this "however" to the depths of my bookish bones, because I love being proven wrong.
I love when book two struts in, declares me an idiot for ever doubting their story and smugly suggests I hold on to life's "oh shit" handle because things are about to get epic.
I love that moment, when my world gets turned upside down and I lose my ever-loving mind.
And while it might be a rare occurrence, it does happen (Garth Nix's Abhorsen series, C.S. Pacat's Captive Prince trilogy, Patricia Briggs' Mercy Thompson series, etc.), and then...
excited newspaper GIF

And the beginnings of that feeling smacked me unapologetically around the head just as the story was ending, just as things were finally heating up.
My frustration, it knows no bounds.
So, my fervent hope for Monsoon Rising is that it shucks off its slow pacing, lukewarm romancing, and total underuse of dragons (maybe three sightings of the majestic beasts in the whole book. Unacceptable!) and instead goes, for lack of a better term, balls to the fucking wall.
We're in Alaric's territory now, the Night Empire (Galactic Empire; not subtle), a gloomy autocracy if ever there was one, and Talasyn's going to stand out like the sun they're desperately lacking.


"The Night Empire will not destroy us, and neither will they destroy you, for you are of our blood. Now―save us all."


...
a man is talking to another man on a plane and says this is where the fun begins .

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Evie Hilliar's take on Chappell Roan's Casual:

I've been cackling over this for way too long.
Meowth Gif


Also, this is important:
orphe

Have you watched Yummy Dungeon yet?
You should fix that.

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Lessons in Chemistry:

This is a very pretty piece of tv.
Pretty cinematography, pretty scoring, pretty actors, costumes, scripting, puppies (Six-Thirty is the best of boys), but not much else.
#lessons in chemistry from televison gifs

I've yet to read the book (might not, now), which from reviews seems to be well loved and respected, so I can't comment on whether this adaptation did it justice or not (although the readership unilaterally claim it as a gross deviation, so...), but as a viewer I can see the show as a missed opportunity that got a lot things wrong.
For one, Brie Larson, who I love, plays her role as Elizabeth Zott a little too hard into the autism stereotype we've been bombarded with since autism was first acknowledged in the media (the horror that is Sheldon Cooper, anyone?).
Which is reliably frustrating to watch when being autistic isn't a "one fits all" state of being and the myth that it is should absolutely stop being perpetuated in the arts, especially when it's a main character who is experiencing the challenges of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world and it's not being acknowledged but instead wielded as a character type.
Autism isn't a "quirk" to be exploited for entertainment.
And Lessons in Chemistry unfortunately didn't use its story to help spread that truth, instead choosing to cash in on it, which is truly disheartening.
This could've been a fantastic opportunity to show an autistic woman in STEM in a historical setting struggling and thriving whilst acknowledging neurodivergent difficulties and advantages without minimising her down to a cliché.
Such a waste of an opportunity to highlight the ND experience.

Secondly, I'm not sure the reasoning for changing Harriet's character age from fifty-five to thirty-eight, other than ageism, misogyny, and the media's belief that we as viewers both don't want to and aren't capable of watching an "older" woman (fuck sake) on screen.
Where they got this idea? Beats me, but it's unequivocally not true.
Harriet's character in the story is one of activism, friendship, motherhood, oppression, four things that don't have an age limit (fine, yes, we prefer our motherhood legal, and infertility is an unfortunate inevitability for all vagina-carriers, but you get my point), they can and are experienced at any age.
So why did they age her up?
Sadly, because to the media a thirty-eight year old is hotter than a fifty-five year old woman.
Simple as that.
Grotesque but unavoidable.
And this isn't to diminish Aja Naomi King's performance, she was fantastic and I hope this role results in a deluge of offered roles for her, but was there any reason an older Harriet couldn't have achieved everything a younger Harriet did? 
Nope, not a one.
(Fifty-five isn't even old! I'm so tired of the perception that as soon as anyone, but especially women, pass the age of forty that they're basically withering away into doddering dust. Such bullshit. Drew Barrymore turns fifty next year, and she's thriving more now than ever. Wtf, society?)
Moreover, her storyline, which is of equal worthiness of being told as Elizabeth's fight against misogyny in the sciences should not have been narratively placed in second, which is how it felt.
Harriet's bid to save her neighbourhood from a freeway being built through it, pushed to fruition by racist bureaucrats, is ultimately a far more interesting story (and a real one. See: Sugar Hill) because Harriet suffers the same constraints as Elizabeth, but as a Black woman living in an aggressively racist society her fight is amplified.
And to give credit to the show, it didn't shy away from this, it in fact compounded it in almost every scene with Harriet, and especially those with Elizabeth, but it still felt as though her story was in the periphery to Elizabeth's.
Important, but not as much, which is just fundamentally wrong.
Instead of treating her story with the importance it demands, Harriet's reduced down to yet another black woman magically picking up the pieces for her white friend who has to be taught about racism because apparently she's unaware?
Can we just stop this, already? It's tired and insulting and I'm done with it.

Thirdly, the sheer number of dangling storylines in the show is... well, I'm not sure if it's madness or outright laziness, but either way, it pissed me off.
Within the story there are many significant events: sexual assault, sibling death, death of a spouse, workplace bullying and sexism, accidental pregnancy, parental abuse.
And all of them are pretty much nodded at and subsequently moved on from with little to no fanfare.
Not used to send a message, not explored, not threaded into the storyline, Elizabeth has her show and that's it, the story goes on, which to me is truly bizarre, that she simply keeps moving. 
She doesn't talk, she doesn't explore, she doesn't improve.
And in some ways that doesn't bother me, it's sort of refreshing because why shouldn't she not let these things stop her life from progressing, why should she allow them to hold her hostage?
But to not address them all? Not to maybe take a minute and unpack her trauma and ignorances and struggles?
Infuriating.
If you're going to write about these things, and perform them, then I believe you have a duty to those who have suffered them in real life to write with depth and empathy and to help the abused and oppressed feel seen, to know they aren't alone.
Lessons Chemistry didn't do that and honestly, it's damn insulting.

And finally, this show is so tonally flat I could feel myself frowning at the screen waiting for a tremolo, a crescendo, any form of deviation from the bass line it begun in, but alas, it remained safely nestled C Minor and refused to take any risks.
Boring. So fucking boring.
Like listening to someone talk in monotone and watching your will to live slump off into the distance, keening for sweet fucking release.

And what makes all of these things worse, is that I didn't hate the show, because it isn't terrible, but it's a true waste of not just a potentially moving story, but of beautiful cinematography, fine actors, gorgeous costume design, and showing unconventional love in its various forms.
This could've been fantastic, beyond it, in fact, and I'm spitting mad it wasted its opportunity.
Disappointed Season 6 GIF by The Office

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Christin Engelberth's fine line florals:

As someone who's drawn like this before, the level of chill you need to apply that amount of detail and not lose your mind or develop carpal tunnel is non-existent.
Draw all the lines, lose all the mind.
Bobsburgers Tina GIF - Bobsburgers Tina Straightjacket - Discover & Share GIFs

Real pretty, though, ain't it?

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When one finds David Tennant's Casanova lurking in the stygian depths of YouTube, one watches David Tennant's Casanova:

It's also on Prime, found that out afterwards.
But eyeballed through whichever streaming service of choice, it still slaps.
As well it should, seeing as though it was created during the BBC's golden era of the romp, when the people in charge knew that this kind of TV needed to in no way take itself seriously, overload the visuals with outrageous costumes/set design, and tug on the heartstrings whilst also making you snicker like you're unhinged.

All of which is basically tailor-made for an actor like Mr Tennant whose smile alone could carry an entire show.

I was expecting this to have aged badly but it's still brazenly and unapologetically fun as hell.
Shame on me for having so little faith in Number Ten and his lothario-ing.


Fanart:
Natalia aka. nipunidraws

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Anna Moshak:

There is nothing crunchier than when a fantasy artists uses classical art references for their OG characters.
(Crunchy meaning most excellent, fyi)
I can't explain it, but it always, without fail works on some intrinsic level, as if satyrs were always meant to pose in softly pensive, Victorian-era engravings.
It just works.
Also, her eyes.
HER EYES.
betty boop , a cartoon character with big eyes and red lips , is looking at the camera .

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Interview with the Vampire season two:

...
Tumblr: Image

It's fine, I'm fine.
...

#i live here now from on va voir

...
Sad Hayley Orrantia GIF by ABC Network

I cannot, with any modicum of sense or chill, explain what I am feeling right now, other than I need a biscuit and a hug and season three right fucking now.
This show is just so...
Girl Excited Sticker - Girl Excited Anime - Discover & Share GIFs

Historically, I fucking hate this story, to the point of reading it and having to restrain myself from yeeting it out the window at least once a chapter - Anne Rice's brand of purple prose is not my preferred shade.
The movie didn't garner much love from me, either, landing on the wrong side of camp and strutting its way into unbearable cliché.
(It has been over a decade-plus since I've seen it, so I'd be willing to rewatch and reevaluate)
Louis and Lestat were never my vampires of choice.
Or at least, they weren't, not until Rolin Jones got his hands on Rice's eternally undead and dramatic dad-vamps, and turned my entire world on its fucking axis.
Basically hung me upside down like a scrunch-nosed blood-sucker with my belly full of trauma-romance-blood and no fucking clue what just happened.
And it's the best thing, truly the most wonderful thing.
I've struggled with not enjoying things lately (hi, mental health, you're a motherfucker), to the point of panicking gently that I'll stop enjoying the arts altogether - a horrifying idea for someone who's joy is intrinsically tied to it; nothing was ticking those boxes I so dearly needed checked and I was honestly at my wits' end.
Things were of course still coming along and sparking that feeling of devotion, but ultimately they never lasted, they couldn't quite wriggle their way into my system to make a home there forevermore.
And then this show appeared, with its fury and its love and its unabashed embrace of the camp vampire trope, and it reminded me what it is to lose your mind over someone else's art.
Because I have lost my mind - my family can attest, I'm basically unbearable.
Deciding what's for dinner? I can make it about Lestat de Lioncourt without even needing a segue.
Cut your finger? Louis de Pointe du Lac's got a cure for that, it's called suck it yourself, I'm abstaining.
It could be absolute silence and I will find a way to make it about Claudia, this line, and it ruining my entire life:
I'm that nuts for this show, with seemingly no end point in sight.
And you could accuse my obsession of stemming from Sam Reid's delightful full-body possession by the spirit of Lestat, which has turned him into the hypnotic brat-prince himself - honestly gorgeous to watch, and my subsequent fixation on him.
image

Or even on the way Jacob Anderson seamlessly winds and wends himself through Louis' unreliable recounting of his history, one biased, Bambi-eyed confession at a time - unreliable narration at its finest, and his performance is beyond wow.
image

Or maybe on the way both Bailey Bass and Delainey Hayes breathe new, complex life into Claudia's character with heartbreaking intensity, that elevates her from the stunted child-vamp to a elemental force fuelled by rage and hunger and loneliness - this is the only aspect of season two I was worried about because Bass was incredible in the first season, but the shift to Hayes was like seeing a new version of Claudia, a new stage in her life. It wasn't swapping heads, it was seeing a new one; Louis' unreliable narration coming into play once again.
#was gonna include the dream sequence but just could nottt get those gifs to work with me from be gay, do crime

You could even level my crazy at Eric Bogosian's totally over it but entirely compelled version of Daniel Molloy and his poke the bear attitude towards Louis and his bullshit - Christian Slater lives in infamy for his Molloy and that slutty waistcoat/glasses combo he had going on, but Bogosian is truly something else.
image

You could leave my unhinged love for the show at these four reasons alone, because they are entirely accurate, but not to get gushy or anything, but it's way more than that.
It's the aesthetic of the show, the chemistry between all the actors, the way the unreliable storytelling leaves so much scope and surprise for the direction(s) of the story, the music (Daniel Hart knows how to set a fucking mood; see also: The Green Knight), the set design, the costumes, the way the show leans into the inherent campiness of vampires but doesn't make them a joke - this show's hilarious but not because it's stupid, how unapologetically queer it is (like... if you read/watched IWtV and thought it was het, then honestly, I don't know where your brain is at).
I love every damn thing about it, from the tiniest nuance to the grandest emotion, it's perfection, and this second season absolutely ruined me.
There isn't a shred of my sanity left.
All I can think about it is hurricanes (and that I'll never know what was said), and yellow dresses, and I own the night.

How long until season three and my lunatic brat-prince runs the show, again?


Fanart:
___Ves

Pati Cmak

Marion Bordeyne

MK of verymerrymart

wen

https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/755627467609391104
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/753718936434098176/apex-predators
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/753304998436356096/im-the-quiet-youve-been-longing-for
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/757642413258981376/their-relationship-is-like-that-one-cats-have
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/756740674504851457
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/758248424834465792
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/755801761673035776/angels
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/755473158353666048
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/755375901255008256
https://www.tumblr.com/secretdazedragon/754912763165491200/assert-dominance-by-making-direct-eye-contact
eni aka. secretdazedragon

https://www.tumblr.com/puragranada/756253900858851328/louis-and-claudia-dancing-in-the-sunlight
puragranada

https://www.tumblr.com/abelko/756913808852811776/your-fascinating-boy
abel

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Stacy McEwan understanding the neurodivergent book-life assignment:

It's the mental illness *llluhlluhluhluhluh*.

So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? - GIF - Imgur


Also, Stuart Mackey always knowing what's up:

At a certain point the gibberish becomes canon.


...
a cartoon axolotl is standing in front of a brick wall with the caption fictional men

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August A-Sides:
Loyal Lobos // una (bitch) [Meredith Brooks cover)

Pom Pom Squad // Spinning

Dan Mangan // Call Me Up High

Oscar and the Wolf // Oh Boy

That last refrain does something wild to the pleasure centres of my brain.


Raleigh Ritchie // Hyperventilating

🎵 Blind rage, followed by the heartbreak
Rememberin' dark days I can't change, and my brain should behave
Must stay, fluctuates and pulsates, like a vein
There's no pain, as always
I don't feel nothing that I can't defeat
Maybe I'm imbalanced chemically
What can I do but just keep being me
I just get through, what else can I do

I've got something in my chest
I can't get no rest now
I am breaking, hyperventilating

...
He's just fucking with me, now.
https://www.tumblr.com/lizardkingeliot/759553634529886209/i-had-taken-seven-thousand-souls-by-then-but

Bonus obsession:
Stronger Than Ever (Live from the O2)

It's rude to be this talented.


Cigarettes After Sex // X's

Twin Atlantic // Fall

Nina Nesbitt // Anger

🎵 Oh, you told me I'm not pretty when I swear
Well, fuck you



Have Mercy // Dead Letter

Hozier // Nobody's Soldier

Mk.gee // Dream Police, How many miles, and Rylee & I

On repeat. For days.
Can't stop. Won't stop.


Corook // blankets

beabadoobee // California

Christopher ft. Griff // It Could Have Been Us

Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars // Die With A Smile

Sabrina Carpenter // Taste

It bangs, but it'd get a free pass anyway for its unhinged homage to Death Becomes Her, the cuntiest cultiest of cult classics.


Lizzy McAlpine // The Elevator and Drunk, Running

McAlpine just casually ruining lives out here.


Brother ft. HEXY // PAIN

Menomena // Pfarmers Daughters

Bear McCreary & Rufus Wainwright (w/ J.R.R. Tolkien's lyrics) // Old Tom Bombadil

The show kinda sucks but Rufus singing an ode to The Dude of Middle-earth?

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Puffy Puff:

My true form.
Lets Go Bread GIF by Microsoft Education

How the fuck does flour, water, yeast and salt slapped together and fire-blasted taste this good?
And Just Plane Magic GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY


Ps. I can't stop singing it.

🎵 All I, all I, all I, all I, wanted was a bit of bread

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Romance Novels Are Literature by Casey McQuiston for Time:


Romance, romance, romance, I love you so very much, but I couldn't admit that for years.
So impacted was my brain with the idea that it wasn't "real literature", that it was too "girly", that my brain wouldn't benefit from such "fluff", I couldn't see past the mountain of misogyny and small-mindedness to a genre that would bring me such unfettered joy.
Smart women didn't read romance, "cool girls" read literary fiction or male-led Fantasy, or esoteric poetry which no one fucking understands but totally pretends they do.
Women didn't read stories about love in all its guises for pleasure.
Good lord, no.
Because women are something to be inherently ashamed of, right? And love is some ooey gooey feeling only they experience and revel in, right?
And to read it is to prove yourself fluff-headed, a marshmallow-brain incapable of intelligent thought, reasoning, and emotional intelligence.
Because women are dumb as fuck and love is gross, right?
...
Just writing that and accepting that's what I was forced to believe at the hands of a long-running and dedicated campaign against anyone who dared enjoy the genre makes me genuinely uncomfortable, especially now that romance is something I'll defend to the death and stuff my kindle so full with that the app is lagging with exhausted intensity (anyone know how to fix this without offloading the app? It's stressing me out).
Romance, like any genre written, is stocked, and I mean stocked with talent that ranges widely and wildly in skill and style; from thirty minute reads of impeccably written smut, to five hundred pages of the heartbreaking and heart-forging coming together of two main characters. Be they queer, het, POC, disabled, neurodivergent, Ace, cute little nerds who only communicate through bickering text messages (epistolary storytelling is... *happy chewing noises*), romance has it all and it does its utmost to exclude no one and represent all forms of the human condition.
In fact, I would say it's the most inclusive genre in fiction.
Show me another genre that spends an entire book exploring how to navigate not only life but love as a neurodivergent in a neurotypical world whilst only wearing pyjamas (Talia Hibbert's, A Girl Like Her)? That has a fat protagonist who isn't reduced to a joke but celebrated and shown as an object of desire and love, even when they string horror dolls to their windows to flirt antagonise their hot neighbour (Olivia Dade's, At First Spite)? Or can turn an accidental pregnancy for two disabled people into the gentlest, most fulfilling tale of devotion and friendship and celebration of mundanity you'll ever have the honour to read (Hannah Bonam-Young's, Out On A Limb)?
Show me another genre that dedicates whole sub-genres solely to Christmas/Halloween/small towns/cowboys/aliens with weird (but pleasurable) appendages?
That embraces sex and kink, but also asexuality and aromanticism and demisexuality.
Friendship, family, loneliness, chronic illness (the rep for this is amazing right now), STD's (there should be way more out there, though, the genre could really help destigmatise it), love in your 40s and upwards (and I mean upwards; love at all ages, please and fucking thank you), the de-fetishisation of sex work and the fetishism of it, "ugly" romance (so tired of solely hot people romance; gimme the "uggos", their love deserves to be written just as much and I want to read it!).
Weird love, mundane love, toxic love, impossible love!
Please, I beg of you, show me another genre that shows all this whilst also demanding the happy ending or nothing else. That knows the HEA isn't a cop out, that it isn't lazy writing, that it isn't unbelievable.
Because it's not.
Romance's greatest achievement is that it's eternally optimistic, tenaciously hopeful, and it never gives in to the idea that life is pain and nothing else, instead it expressly tells you that yes, you might suffer, in fact, you probably will at some point, but after all of the pain something better, something brighter will come along and make it all worth it.
That is why I love it so much (plus the laughing and the aching it makes me do), why I'll never be embarrassed of it again, and why I'll defend it against those who dismiss it outright because they've been led to believe it's a "women's genre".
Yuck to that.
It's "everyone's genre".
And if you don't want to read it, that's fine, I'm all about unapologetically enjoying the things you love, but just try not to belittle an entire genre with such a rich history just because there's a patriarchy-worm in your brain telling you to.
In short: read whatever the fuck you want and don't be a dick about it.
But maybe read these because they're outstanding and I love them and I categorised them all like a fucking lunatic.
...
Peruse at your leisure!:

Mental Health/Neurodivergence:


Olivia Dade, At First Spite (+ PS rep)

Talia Hibbert, Act Your Age, Eve Brown (+ POC / PS rep)

Talia Hibbert, A Girl Like Her (+ rest of series / POC rep)

Helen Hoang, The Kiss Quotient (+ sex work rep) + The Bride Test

Kristen Callihan, Fall (+ rockstar)

Roni Loren, The Ones Who Got Away (+ PTSD rep)



Historical:


Stacy Reid, The Wolf and the Wildflower

Jennifer Ashley, The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie (+ mental health rep)

Maya Banks, Never Seduce a Scot (+ disability rep)



Historical Supernatural:


Kristen Callihan, Firelight (+ rest of series)



Supernatural:


Alisha Rai, Cabin Fever (+ trauma rep)

Talia Hibbert, Mating the Huntress (+POC rep)

Rebecca Zanetti, Mercury Striking

Alyssa Cole, The A.I. Who Loved Me (+ PTSD rep)



Plus Size:


Charlotte Stein, When Grumpy Met Sunshine

Charlotte Stein, Curveball

Olivia Dade, All the Feels (+ ND rep) + Ship Wrecked

Jessa Kane, King Sized (+ historical)

J.T. Geissinger, Melt For You (+ rest of series / sports)

Evie Mitchell, Just Joshing

Evie Mitchell, Thunder Thighs (+ interconnected series)

Christa Wick, Every Last Doubt (+ rest of series)

Marie Lipscomb, Rhythm

N.R. Walker, The Weight of It All

Esme Brett, Eyes On



Disability:


Hannah Bonam-Young, Out on a Limb

Karla Sorenson, Baking Me Crazy (+ rest of series / disability rep)

Talia Hibbert, Get A Life, Chloe Brown  (+ rest of series / PS + ND rep)

Sarina Bowen, The Year We Fell Down (+ rest of series / college)

Kristy Marie, Interpreter (+ rest of series )

E.M. Lindsey, Free Hand (+ rest of series / MM rep)

Evie Mitchell, Knot My Type (+ kink rep)

Avery Flynn, Muffin Top (+ rest of series)



Musician:


Kristen Callihan, Idol (+ rest of series)

Elizabeth O’Roark, The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Cari Quinn & Taryn Elliott, Rocked

Cari Quinn & Taryn Elliott, Anaconda (+ rest of series)



Celebrity:


Ivy Owens, Scandalized

Charlotte Stein, Beyond Repair (+ ND rep)



Sports:


Eve Dangerfield, Back Into It (+ rest of series)

Kathryn Nolan, Off the Mark

Kristen Callihan, The Hook Up (+ rest of series)

Sarina Bowen, Rookie Move (+ interconnected series)

Molly O’Keefe, Bad Neighbor (+ PS rep)

Taylor Fitzpatrick, Thrown Off the Ice (+ mental health rep / will ruin your life, fyi)

Sara Ney, Jock Row (+ rest of series)

Kristy Marie, The Pitcher (+ rest of series / college)

Kennedy Ryan, Long Shot (+ POC / abuse rep)

Harper St. George & Tara Wyatt, Dirty Boxing



Small Town:


Sarina Bowen, Bittersweet (+ rest of series)

Talia Hibbert, That Kind of Guy (+ rest of series / demisexuality rep)

Lucy Score, No More Secrets (+ rest of series)

Staci Hart, For Love or Honey



Kink:


Tessa Bailey & Eve Dangerfield, Captivated

Airicka Phoenix, The Voyeur Next Door (+ ED/PTSD rep)

Eve Dangerfield, Act Your Age (+ ND rep)

Eve Dangerfield, Degrees of Control

Kay Elle Parker, Speechless (+ abuse / mental health rep)

Alisha Rai, Play With Me (+ rest of series)

Dakota Gray, Perv (+ rest of series)

Charlotte Stein, Deep Desires (+ abuse rep)



Seasonal:


Kati Wilde, The Wedding Night, Secret Santa, All He Wants For Christmas

B.K. Borinson, Lovelight Farms (+ rest of series / small town)

Chloe Liese, The Mistletoe Motive (+ ND / invisible illness rep)

Roan Parrish, The Remaking of Corbin Wale (+ ND / MM rep / supernatural)

Talia Hibbert, Merry Inkmas (+ POC / mental health rep)

Sherilee Gray, Mountain Man (+ PS rep)



MM:


Anyta Sunday, Leo Loves Aries (+ rest of series)

Talia Hibbert, Work For It (+ mental health rep)

Casey McQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue

Tessa Bailey, Heat Stroke (+ rest of series)

Sarina Bowen, The Understatement of the Year (+ rest of series / MM rep)

Cole McCade, His Cocky Valet (+ kink / grief rep)

Cole McCade, Over and Over Again



MFM+:


Harley Laroux, The Losers: Part I + 2 (+ kink)

Charlotte Stein, Reawakening (+ PS rep / post apoc)

Sierra Simone, American Queen (+ rest of series / kink rep)

Pam Godwin, Dead of Eve + Heart of Eve (+ post-apoc / hot priest rep)

Pam Godwin, Sea of Ruin (+ kink rep / historical)

Penelope Douglas, Credence



College:


Krista & Becca Ritchie, Addicted to You (+ interconnected series / addiction rep)

Roxie Noir, The Hookup Equation (+ rest of series)

Hannah Grace, Icebreaker (+ ED rep) + Wildfire

Sara Ney, How to Date a Douchebag (+ rest of series)

Maya Hughes, The Sin of Kissing You (+ rest of series / sports)

Chloe Liese, Only When It’s Us (+ rest of series / disability rep)

Cambria Hebert, #NERD (+ rest of series / ND rep + sports)

Kate Stewart, The Guy on the Right (+ rest of series)

Kandi Steiner, Blind Side



Shifter:


Cate C. Wells, The Tyrant Alpha’s Rejected Mate (+ rest of series)

Mia West, Marked by Fire (+ rest of series / MM rep)

Ellie Mae MacGregor, The Witch’s Wolves (+ MFM rep)



Contemporary:


Tessa Bailey, Getaway Girl + Runaway Girl (+ PTSD rep)

Tessa Bailey, Mouth to Mouth (+ rest of series)

Tarah DeWitt, Funny Feelings

Julie Soto, Forget Me Not

Christina Lauren, The Soulmate Equation + The True Love Experiment

Christina Lauren, Roomies

Kate Goldbeck, You, Again

Kathryn Nolan, Strictly Professional, Rival Radio, Not the Marrying Kind

Naima Simone, Sweet Surrender

Eris Adderly, Bass-Ackwards

Sara Whitney, Tempting Taste (+ rest of series)

Donna Alam, One Hot Scot

Maria Luis, Hold Me Today (+ rest of series)

Sally Thorne, The Hating Game

Sierra Simone, Priest (+ rest of series / hot priest rep)

Staci Hart, Champagne Problems

Elle Aycart, Sky’s the Limit

Kelly Hunter, The Courage of Eli Jackson (+ rest of series)

Melissa Blue, Grumpy Jake (+POC rep)

Samantha Young, Fight or Flight

Penelope Douglas, Hideaway (+ rest of series)

Penelope Douglas, Birthday Girl

Jasinda Wilder, Hammered (+ rest of series)

Kim Jones, That Guy

Lucy Score, By a Thread

Suleikha Snyder, Tikka Chance On Me (+ POC rep)

Mia Hopkins, Thirsty (+ POC rep)

Kate Canterbary, The Belle and the Beard

Lyssa Kay Adams, The Bromance Book Club (+ rest of series)

Carley Fortune, This Summer Will Be Different



Notes of note:

1) I purposefully left out Romantasy because it's just a whole different ball game, but if you want recs, I can provide (sneak peak: read Grace Draven's, Wraith Kings series, it's *chef's kiss*)

2) You'll notice a dearth of lesbian/Non-Binary/Trans/Ace romances, and the only explanation I have is I just haven't got to them yet. I'm working on it, though. Gimme all the love.

3) This was meant to be an infographic but then I started making the list and, uh, yeah, that was never going to happen.

4) I knew I predominantly read Contemporary Romance, but wow... I guess I have a type? I thought it'd be more vampire-driven because, well, my OG ship were these precious idiots:

Still are, always will be, Bangel for life.

.............................................

Drama Dots:

That's it, that's their new name.
Ellipses be damned, Drama Dots are the new supervillain of tension-laden prose.
elmo is standing in front of a fire with the words all hail the drama above him:

.............................................

Still searching for that High Fantasy high:
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

Quality: ★★★★★
Enjoyment: ★★★★★
Campiness: ★★
Magic: ★★★★★
HF Scale: ★★★★★
Actual Genre: Muppet Genocide High Fantasy


Tuck Everlasting

Quality: ★★★✩
Enjoyment: ★★★✩
Campiness: ★★
Magic: ★★★
HF Scale: ★★
Actual Genre: Cosy Historical Immortality Fantasy


Ginger Snaps

Quality: ★★★★★
Enjoyment: ★★★★★
Campiness: ★★★★
Magic: ★★★
HF Scale: ★★★
Actual Genre: Menstrual Lycanthrope Fantasy


Ginger Snaps II: Unleashed

Quality: ★★★✩
Enjoyment: ★★★✩
Campiness: ★★
Magic: ★★★
HF Scale: ★★★
Actual Genre: Menstrual Lycanthrope Fantasy


Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning

Quality: ★★★
Enjoyment: ★★★
Campiness: ★★
Magic: ★★★
HF Scale: ★★★
Actual Genre: Historical Menstrual Lycanthrope Origin Fantasy


The Three Musketeers

Quality: ★★★★★
Enjoyment: ★★★★★
Campiness: ★★★★★
Magic: NA
HF Scale: ★★
Actual Genre: Baroque Bromance Adventure


Renegade Nell

Quality: ★★★★★
Enjoyment: ★★★★★
Campiness: ★★
Magic: ★★★★★
HF Scale: ★★★★★
Actual Genre: Stuart-Era Fae Romp


My Lady Jane

Quality: ★★★★★
Enjoyment: ★★★★★
Campiness: ★★★★★
Magic: ★★★
HF Scale: ★★★
Actual Genre: Alt-Tudor Shapeshifter Romp


I realised a few things while I watching this last bout of HF:

✨ I miss practical effects in tv/movies so much it makes me gloomy.

I love CGI, it's an art from all in itself, but it's so relied upon in the industry that we rarely make anything physical anymore.
No lush and glittering sets (Labyrinth would be green screen, now; a horrifying thought), no animatronic monsters (imagining An American Werewolf in London, Dog Soldiers, Ginger Snaps digitally made is scarier than the movies themselves), no Doug Jones acting his ass off as various beasts of burden (I don't want to live in a world without him as Pan or The Asset or Billy Butcherson, replaced solely with Mocap - no shade, such an incredible skill - and uncanny valley digital effects. Just... no).
I'm generalising, these things are still made and made well, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance being a spectacular example, plus a notable mention for the physical sets on Dune, which were seriously incredible. And by both of these pieces of media combining the physical with digital effects they utilised the best of both worlds, but that's exactly my problem: practical and digital effects should be complimentary, but the bias is so heavily skewed towards digital that it's rendered practical effects mute.
And I don't want to look at it.
I don't want to see actors interact with the idea of something, I want them to reach out and touch it.
I want them to stroke the head of a clunky, animatronic/puppeted beast instead of some poor mocap actor in an acidly green suit working their ass off to be a believable centaur, only to be digitally painted over by an overworked, underpaid artist just trying not to get fired by the greedy industry.
I don't want Marvel, or Avatar, or the hellscape that is the new live-action Snow White (genuinely nauseating).
I want the painted backgrounds of Star Wars, the miniature landscapes of Batman, the rubbery flesh of The Terminator.
And I want it all with CGI.
Is that too much to ask?
Image


🌳 I would totally choose immortality; Winnie Foster is an idiot.

Imagine all the books you could read with a lifespan of forever?
Image


🐺 Lycanthropy as a metaphor for menstruation is accurate as fuck.

Gingers Snaps walked, so Jennifer's Body could run.
Feminist horror slaps, just saying.
#ginger fitzgerald from yo soy la princesa


⚔️ My crush on Kiefer Sutherland as Athos reigns strong and true.

Something about the floppy blonde hair/beard combo with sword and sass thrown in just does it for me.


🖕 And I'll never fucking forgive Disney and Amazon for cancelling Renegade Nell and My Lady Jane. Never.
a woman in a black dress is behind bars looking out of a window

Why can't I have nice things?
And why is the industry making and quickly cancelling fantasy with such alacrity?
Even when it does well in viewership and ratings?
What the fuck is going on?!
Stop picking on the nerds, already, we just want to watch our fantastical stories for a prolonged amount of time in peace, goddammit.
a man in a king 's costume is giving the middle finger and the words bugger off are above him

.............................................

Bhavna Madan aka. kidovna and The Dregs:

I cannot express to you how much I miss my Barrel Brats and how robbed I still feel over Netflix cancelling the show, so we'll never see the Hellgate heist.
Arguably the best action sequence of the two books.
Robbed, I tell you.
Streaming services are villains!
a man is sitting in the back seat of a car and saying `` i see you villain i see you '' .

Now I just have to hope Amazon comes through with their Ninth House adaptation, brings my beloved Lethe House gremlins to life, and doesn't cancel it after one season like they did with My Lady Jane.
...
a woman with her eyes closed and the words god i 'm so screwed behind her

.............................................

Studio Ghibli. For the comfort of it all. In order of vibe I was vibing:
Ponyo

The Vibe:

It's my favourite, therefore it goes first
Also, Ponyo growing legs, eating ham, telling daddy dearest to piss off, and generally doing anything is peak loveable brat and I adore her for it.

Rating: 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠


The Secret World of Arrietty

The Vibe:

Dream home interior design inspo.

Rating: 🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞


Kiki's Delivery Service

The Vibe:

Kiki might be forced into working a full time job at thirteen years old but damn, being a witch living above a bakery with a salty little feline is basically the dream.
Ghibli kikis delivery service kiki GIF - Find on GIFER

Also, get you a bread husband (Fukuo, the most underrated character in the Ghibli-verse):
image

Rating: 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛


Howl's Moving Castle

The Vibe:

Brat Summer.
#<3 from Never too old

Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥


Spirited Away

The Vibe:

Arguably Miyazaki's masterpiece?
Also, life lessons: 

1) Considering emancipation from your parents when they choose a magical banquet over you is a totally valid choice
Studio Ghibli

2) Some old ladies serve bitch like high tea ⬅ ask for lessons
Pin page

3) Never usurp a soot sprite their job, vengeance will be swift and squeaky
Studio Ghibli

4) Dragons as besties is elite friendship game
Pin page

5)  Crying while eating is self-care
GIF by Spirited Away

Rating: 🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉


My Neighbor Totoro

The Vibe:

Fuzzy belly naps.
THE GHIBLI GIRLS: CHAPTER TWO – JMSunderduress

And the factual fact of being a baby sister and possessing no directional awareness but running full speed into it anway ➡ *is a baby sister who never knows where there fuck she is or how to get there*
studio ghibli running GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Rating: 🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳


The Cat Returns

The Vibe:

Is The Baron... hot?
Image tagged with Studio Ghibli, The Cat Returns, Baron Humbert Von Gikkingen – @a-little-ray-of-fantasy on Tumblr

Rating: 🐈🐈🐈🐈


From Up On Poppy Hill

The Vibe:

A life lesson: Don't watch this when you're coming down from a fever, you will get very stressed out over incest and forget how many times you've badgered your family to check wikipedia throughout the movie because all that's left in your stomach is acid and brain's on the menu.
0/10
Would not recommend.
The movie, though?
10/10. Five Ghibli stars ✰✰✰✰✰
🎌🏚From Up on Poppy Hill🏚🎌 GFotD | Studio Ghibli Amino

Rating: 🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵


Porco Rosso

 The Vibe:

Michael Keaton pork pilot. That is all.

Rating: 🐷🐷🐷½

.............................................

In keeping with the Ghibli spirit, Natalie Andrewson:

Curse international shipping.
Risograph's so fucking pretty.
But hell, that's a lot of colour theory my brain-rot simply could not handle.
This is more my level:
Whats Your Favorite Color GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

.............................................

The Umbrella Academy's final season:

...
Nope!
Not reviewing this.
That would require more mental spoons then I currently possess and a desire to pick apart a show I love so very dearly that flopped so very hard in its final hurrah.
And I honestly can't be arsed; plus, it's my birthday month so I don't have to.
So, here's Daniel Lewandowski from Only Comic Universe's review instead, which sums up pretty much everything I felt:

It's so sad when a show you love, that's brought you such an immense amount of silly joy since its beginning and was genuinely subversive, speculative tv, bombs out so spectacularly.
(Five, my gremlin love, they neutered you so grossly)

So sad.
I think I'll follow Lewandowski's lead and forget the the final season ever happened and rewatch one through three instead.
Lest I find myself trapped in a temporal anomaly train and accidentally on purpose fall in love with my sister-in-law FOR NO FUCKING NARRATIVE REASON.
Lest, indeed.

.............................................

romantasy_deleted_scenes crack-shipping the shit out of the ACoTaR fandom:

Welp!
Time to raid AO3, I guess.
Anne Hathaway GIF by GoPlay

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