Things I enjoyed in the month of September:
Kate Daniels', Magic Rises:
I hadn't realised I was holding my breath until I finished this and had to indulge in a gargantuan gulp of tension-smothered air.
...
Which was closely followed by this immortal declaration:
Fuck me sideways with a barge pole...
...
Fucking hell, House Andrews, you put me through the wringer this time around!
It's almost as if you want me to pass out from supernatural-based angst.
...
You do, you totally do want that.
You want me so wracked with anxiety that I can barely contain the number of feels barrelling through my weak and feeble carcass, so I have no other choice but to continue on this magnificent fucking shitshow of magical calamities trying to defeat my eternal literary girlfriend, Miss Kate "I can kill you with my brain" Daniels.
...
I say it every damn time, but... this one was so good.
SO bloody GOOD.
SO bloody GOOD.
I half expect when reading a series for the quality to go down or my level of interest to wane because maintaining that longterm high standard, especially when slowly building a story arc and introducing new characters periodically, is not easy.
I've seen it fail so many times and it's never not disappointing, but it is understandable.
So I prepare myself.
I guard my stupid, easily led heart.
And wait to see what happens.
And so far, House Andrews are smashing it.
✓ Each book? Better than the last.
✓ The story arc? Complex, involving, entirely devoid of bullshit plot holes.
✓ The dialogue? Dialogue's probably the most important part of a story for me and Kate Daniels' sassy mouth sparring against just about every damn person in her universe is so fucking beautiful I wish I could have it soundtrack my life. I shit you not, if making a cup of tea was narrated by Kate informing me that what I'm doing is a crime against English Breakfast, then bring it the fuck on.
(Although, I drink bastardised green tea most of the time, so I'm pretty sure she'd just scream obscenities at me... and my statement still stands. Bring it. The fuck. On.)
✓ The characters? Excuse me while I SMACK YOU IN THE HEART WITH MY LOVE.
(Kate? Curran? Could you just, y'know, stop squishing my heart into soup for a bit? Please?)
✓ The world-building? You know when those oftentimes authors info-dump you and you can genuinely feel yourself physically recoiling from all the unnecessary fantastical jargon? Well, there may be info-dumps, there may be fantastical jargon, but my good people, there is absolutely no recoiling. I look forward to story time with Kate. I revel in learning about her earthy, weird as fuck, endlessly dangerous version of Atlanta. Why? Because House Andrews take our myths (Norse, Greek, Russian, Biblical, Egyptian, ad infinitum) and superimpose them into their own created landscape ... I love this. I love this so much because it doesn't make you feel like an outsider learning an entirely new mythological language. When Kate encounters The Mórrigan, I know who she's talking about (and rejoice because the Mórrigan is just too fucking cool). When she has tea with Baba Yaga (this totally happens and it's as weird and good and terrifying as it sounds), I don't have to scramble around trying to figure out why this legendary figure is so significant. I know why. When she's under attack from Egyptian gods, I can internally scream at my girl to stab their hybrid asses with her fancy sword because I know that you either stick 'em first or you're all kinds of squishy dead - one does not fuck around with Egyptian gods. It's this familiarity that stops Kate's Atlanta being tiresome like so many Fantasy books can be. And it's probably why Sci-Fi and I have never gotten along, and Fantasy is so very dear to me. That, and the unicorns. Still waiting for one of those, House Andrews. Just saying.
I've seen it fail so many times and it's never not disappointing, but it is understandable.
So I prepare myself.
I guard my stupid, easily led heart.
And wait to see what happens.
And so far, House Andrews are smashing it.
✓ Each book? Better than the last.
✓ The story arc? Complex, involving, entirely devoid of bullshit plot holes.
✓ The dialogue? Dialogue's probably the most important part of a story for me and Kate Daniels' sassy mouth sparring against just about every damn person in her universe is so fucking beautiful I wish I could have it soundtrack my life. I shit you not, if making a cup of tea was narrated by Kate informing me that what I'm doing is a crime against English Breakfast, then bring it the fuck on.
(Although, I drink bastardised green tea most of the time, so I'm pretty sure she'd just scream obscenities at me... and my statement still stands. Bring it. The fuck. On.)
✓ The characters? Excuse me while I SMACK YOU IN THE HEART WITH MY LOVE.
(Kate? Curran? Could you just, y'know, stop squishing my heart into soup for a bit? Please?)
✓ The world-building? You know when those oftentimes authors info-dump you and you can genuinely feel yourself physically recoiling from all the unnecessary fantastical jargon? Well, there may be info-dumps, there may be fantastical jargon, but my good people, there is absolutely no recoiling. I look forward to story time with Kate. I revel in learning about her earthy, weird as fuck, endlessly dangerous version of Atlanta. Why? Because House Andrews take our myths (Norse, Greek, Russian, Biblical, Egyptian, ad infinitum) and superimpose them into their own created landscape ... I love this. I love this so much because it doesn't make you feel like an outsider learning an entirely new mythological language. When Kate encounters The Mórrigan, I know who she's talking about (and rejoice because the Mórrigan is just too fucking cool). When she has tea with Baba Yaga (this totally happens and it's as weird and good and terrifying as it sounds), I don't have to scramble around trying to figure out why this legendary figure is so significant. I know why. When she's under attack from Egyptian gods, I can internally scream at my girl to stab their hybrid asses with her fancy sword because I know that you either stick 'em first or you're all kinds of squishy dead - one does not fuck around with Egyptian gods. It's this familiarity that stops Kate's Atlanta being tiresome like so many Fantasy books can be. And it's probably why Sci-Fi and I have never gotten along, and Fantasy is so very dear to me. That, and the unicorns. Still waiting for one of those, House Andrews. Just saying.
✓ The romance? If I talked about it, I'd make you vomit. I'll just leave this instead:
I realized Curran was looking at me. "Yes?"
"The invitation is for the Beast Lord and the Consort. I understand if you choose not to go."
I just looked at him. Really? He meant everything to me. If I had to die so he could live, I would put my life on the line in an instant, and he would do the same for me. "I'm sorry, run that by me again?"
"We'll have to cross the ocean in the middle of hurricane season, go to a foreign country filled with hostile shapeshifters, and babysit a pregnant woman, while everyone plots and waits for an opportunity to stab us in the back."
I shrugged. "Well, it sounds bad if you put it that way . . ."
"Kate," he growled.
"Yes?"
"I'm trying to tell you that you don't have to go. I have to, but you can stay if you want."
Ha-ha. "I thought we were a team."
"We are."
"You're sending some confusing signals."
Curran growled deep in his throat.
"That's impressive but not really informative, Your Furriness."
"This is going to suck," Curran said. "It will suck much less if you come with me. You want to me level, here it is: I need you. I need you because I love you. Three months without you will be hell. But even if we weren't together, I would still need you. You're a good fighter, you've worked as a bodyguard, and you know magic. We may not have many magic users, but we don't know if those packs do, and if they hit us with magic, we have no way to counter." He spread his arms. "But I love you and I don't want you to be hurt. I'm not going to ask you to come with me. That would be like stepping in front of a moving train and saying, 'Hey, honey, come stand next to me.'"
I hopped off the wall and stood next to him. "Anytime."
He just looked at me.
"I've never killed a train before. It might be fun to try."
✓ The villains? This is book six and it's taken until now for Hugh D'Ambray to finally make an appearance, and oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, he is... perfect. One of my true pet hates with villains is when they're miserable fucks who spend more time soliloquising than actually being villainous. Less talky, more killy, please. True villains should be enjoying the fuck out their tyranny. They should be giddy and childlike when they slit throats and eat hearts (see: the Mayor in Buffy; Loki in the Avengers; Gary Oldman in Léon). They shouldn't be self-righteous little whiners forcing their subjugates to listen to them drone on about how hard it is being better than everyone else and why they must murder the world ... Bleh. Bleh, bleh, ble-bleh, bleh, bleh! Luckily, Hugh is none of these things. He's a cocky little shit who knows he's awesome and just wants to play with his new Kate-shaped toy ...
"If you hurt him, I will kill you," I said.
"You'll try, and I will enjoy that, too. I meant what I said, Kate. You make feel that interesting something. That's rare for me. And I like having you around. You're funny."
"Funny. Does your jaw hurt when you laugh?"
" 'My hand won't shake,' " he quoted. " 'My aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die.' You're hilarious."
Those were the words I'd said to the Pack Council when Curran was in the coma and they tried to separate me from him. My skin crawled. Hugh had a mole on the Pack Council.
House Andrews?
I love you...
I'm not even worried about the next book.
Scratch that.
I'm not worried about the whole series.
My authors are killer, they won't let me down.
...
Although, if they keep making me want to reach inside my book and strangle the Beast Lord, then we may be engaging in some words.
Fair warning.
I'm gonna go apeshit.
I would, however, like to pay homage to this glorious speech made by said Beast Lord:
"We've been together a year. How many times have you seen me hunt?"
Umm.
"How many times, Kate?"
"None."
"That's because I don't hunt. I'm a male lion. I weigh six hundred pounds. Do you really expect me to scamper through the brush after deer? When I want a steak, I want a damn steak. I don't want to chase it around the woods for two hours and then eat it raw. I have food brought to me, and the only time I get off my ass is when something threatens the Pack. I've been on exactly one hunt in the last three years. I went because I had to go, and once they ran off, I found a nice warm rock and had myself a nap in the sun."
A nap.
In.
The sun.
...
This is why I love, His Furriness so. damn. much.
.............................................
If you will excuse me, I'll be casually stalking Gubbe's Society6 store just in case she puts this up as a print.
BECAUSE.
I.
NEED.
IT.
.............................................
Webcomics:
Hannah Hillam
(You should follow Hannah Hillam. You just should)
Sarah Andersen
(The depths of my love...)
(You should follow Hannah Hillam. You just should)
(The depths of my love...)
(I cackled so loudly)
(Apparently this is a genuine issue for cats. See base of bowl. See starvation. Charlie fully believes in this system)
(Oh man, I feel this in my goddamn bones)
(Gasp! - yeah, Heart, yeah)
(This is why I can't lend books. It's okay when I dog-ear pages but anyone else? BURN THE WITCH!)
(Oh, hello, I'm just dying inside BECAUSE THIS IS MY GODDAMN WEAKLING LIFE)
.............................................
C. S. Pacat and the double tease:
"In this epic fantasy trilogy set in an alternate London, the heroes and villains of a long-forgotten war are being reborn, ushering in a dangerous new age of magic."
...
She could write trash panda romance and I'd read it.
She could write trash panda romance and I'd read it.
And then there's this:
I've had two months to digest this.
Two months!
And I'm still not okay!
Best get to reading the last in the trilogy before Capat accidentally-on-purpose spoils my series-stalling ass.
.............................................
.............................................
The Haunting of Hill House:
This is the second time in two months I've had to eat fucking crow over a tv adaptation.
The second time!
I think it's time for a self-lesson in jumping the goddamned gun.
Because THIS IS THE BEST!
This is the second time in two months I've had to eat fucking crow over a tv adaptation.
The second time!
I think it's time for a self-lesson in jumping the goddamned gun.
Because THIS IS THE BEST!
The overriding feeling I had when I read The Haunting of Hill House was of deep, abiding sadness.
It's a story full of melancholy and mourning.
Because what's sadder than the soul/essence/whatever you want to call it of someone stranded in the same place eternally?
Shirley Jackson didn't need to make us jump and skitter onto our beds in fear of an eldritch hand reaching out to drag us under.
She didn't need to make us afraid of the dark.
She knew better.
She knew we already were.
And the tv adaptation completely honoured that.
It was 10 episodes of familial grief.
A collective exorcism.
And I loved it.
I really loved it.
And as far as I can tell, for the second season we're getting the same cast but... it's based on Henry James' The Turn of the Screw this time around.
Which I haven't read.
And have no immediate plans to.
But perhaps that means I'll be less of a judgemental shit-heel this time.
...
Or I'll read it and continue the trend.
Who knows!
But either way, come on, 2020:
.............................................She didn't need to make us afraid of the dark.
She knew better.
She knew we already were.
And the tv adaptation completely honoured that.
It was 10 episodes of familial grief.
A collective exorcism.
And I loved it.
I really loved it.
And as far as I can tell, for the second season we're getting the same cast but... it's based on Henry James' The Turn of the Screw this time around.
Which I haven't read.
And have no immediate plans to.
But perhaps that means I'll be less of a judgemental shit-heel this time.
...
Or I'll read it and continue the trend.
Who knows!
But either way, come on, 2020:
A new Haunting is coming. Can you guess where it takes place? Listen closely... pic.twitter.com/vqzrd3z4NZ— The Haunting of Hill House (@haunting) February 21, 2019
A list. A good list. I enjoy this list:
But I struggle to get fully behind a list of Urban Fantasy that doesn't include at least one Ilona Andrews book.
So, in no particular order...
Ilona Andrews', Magic Bites
» Shifters, vampires, gods, the whole paranormal rabble
» Magic
» Surly, kick-ass, sass-mouth female protagonist with a heart of fucking gold
» Alpha-mallow, growl-happy, cute as hissing kitten hero
» Romance
» Hate-flirting
» Prose to die for
» Descriptive landscape to die for
» Longterm, slow-build story arc
» Fight scenes to make you weep
» Glorious supernatural lore
» Banter; such good banter
» Hunger-maker
» Love of my Urban Fantasy life
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Kristen Callihan's, Firelight
» Historical Urban Fantasy
» Elemental magic
» Romance
» Feisty, trouble-chasing, smart, emotionally free heroine
» Alpha-mallow, brooding, self-sacrificing hero
» Dual POV
» Fluff
» Fun as hell dialogue
» Soft
» Days of yore smut
» Firebug
» Heartcrusher
⭑⭑⭑⭑
Laurence MacNaughton's, It Happened One Doomsday
» Crystal magic
» Apocalypse
» SORCERY!
» Tentative but feisty heroine
» Fluff, but good fluff
» Romance
» Surprisingly stressful car chases
» Demons
» Fun prose
» Mid-level violence
» Magic portals
» Cute
⭑⭑⭑⭐︎
Matt Wallace's, Envy of Angels
» Demons, vampires, goblins, shifters galore
» All-round lovable band of misfit characters
» Hunger-maker
» Graphically violent
» Funny as hell
» A sin for each book
» Fantastic dialogue
» Weird; so weird
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Thea Harrison's, Dragon Bound
» Shifters, Fae and other paranormal thingymajigs
» Romance
» Smut
» Dialogue for the sappy and sassy hearted
» Forced proximity trope
» Growly alpha-mallow hero
» Adorable heroine with a take-no-shit attitude - especially reserved for growly alpha-mallow
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Kevin Hearne's, Hounded
» Druids, gods, vampires, witches, Fae, shifters etc.
» Quippy hero made of actual marshmallow fluff wielding a sword
» Irish wolfhound best bud
» Longterm story arc
» Abundant nerd culture references
» Mythological
» Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue! - especially between the hero and his wolfhound; I die
» Interesting supernatural lore
» Fight scenes
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭐︎
Patricia Briggs', Moon Called
» Shifters, vampires, witches, Fae and all manner of mythological nuisances
» Hate-flirting
» Scrappy tomboy heroine with a mile long soft spot for an underdog
» Growly alpha hero with possible squishy underbelly
» Compelling monster lore
» Descriptive world-building
» Snark level: moderate
» Intriguing mystery
⭑⭑⭑⭑
Patricia Briggs', Alpha and Omega
» Shifters, vampires, witches, Fae and all manner of mythological nuisances
» Fated mates
» Romance
» Nuanced evolvement of relationships
» Damaged but incredibly strong heroine
» Damaged but incredibly gentle hero
» Shy, banterful dialogue
» Compelling monster lore
» Descriptive world-building
» Intriguing, slow-feed plot
» Soft
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭐︎
Glen Duncan's, The Last Werewolf
» Shifters
» Lyrical prose (the C word's never been so pretty)
» Highly descriptive language
» Stomach-lurchingly violent
» Romance
» Complex, flawed protagonist
» Meted out fascinating supernatural lore
» Chase and mystery
» Suprisingly soft
» Heart-wrecker
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Ben Aaronovitch's, Rivers of London
» Magic, vampires, Fae, various other creature features
» Story-arc
» Soft, brave, nerdy beyond belief, walking disaster protagonist
» Funny; so funny
» Well-rounded side characters
» Abundant pop culture referencing
» Grand betrayal
» Complex, involving supernatural lore
» Peripheral romance
» Puppy detective pal
⭑⭑⭑⭑
Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's, Good Omens
» Angels, demons, the whole biblical shebang
» Apocalypse
» Funny; so fucking funny
» Puppy/Hellhound best bud
» Prophecy
» High farce
» Bullshit-caller masquerading as a comedy
» Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue!
» Romance (don't tell me otherwise)
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Tom Holt's, Expecting Someone Taller
» Norse Gods
» Hopeless but unavoidably lovable hero
» Kick-ass ladies
» Romance
» Funny and snarky and deeply nerdy
» Prophecy
» High jinx
» Meddlesome
» Soft
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Robin McKinley's, Sunshine
» Vampires, magic
» Graphic violence
» Confusing but fascinating supernatural lore
» Mild smut
» Baked goods
» Romance?
» Lyrical and descriptive prose
» Slowwwww
» Tough, non-snowflakey, yeast-loving heroine
» Creepy, non-sparkly, confusingly attractive hero
» Weird; really fucking weird
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Lev Grossman's, The Magicians
» Magic, dragons, the underworld etc.
» Harry Potter/Narnia for grown ups
» Funny
» Whiney, narcissistic, walking disaster protagonist you weirdly can't help but root for
» Fucked up magical system
» Relentlessly brutal and unforgiving
» Nostalgia
» Parallell universes
» Nerd culture
» Bibliophile's wet dream
⭑⭑⭑⭑
Neil Gaiman's, Neverwhere
» Reluctant, mildly useless but enjoyable hero
» Semi-magical
» Angels
» Underground Oz-like universe
» Labyrinthine
» Descriptive, engrossing landscape
» Wry humour
» Mundanely supernatural
⭑⭑⭑⭑
Charlie Huston's, Already Dead
» Vampires, zombies
» Depressed, curmudgeonly, blood-sucking, softie hero
» Noir mystery
» Reasonably violent
» Romance?
» Political
» Turf wars
» Oddly printed but get-used-to-able dialogue
» Story-arc
» Gallows humour
⭑⭑⭑⭐︎
Tim Lebbon's, Relics
» Everything supernatural; everything
» Smart, believably capable, shit-scared but still going heroine
» Romance
» Bit of betrayal
» Underground
» Pocket universes
» Black market
» Quotable dialogue
» Descriptively bleak supernatural landscape
» Super violent at times
» Interesting monster lore
» Hunted and hunting
⭑⭑⭑
Deborah Harkness', A Discovery of Witches
» Supernatural academic fiction
» Wholly reluctant, mildly irritating, hard to root for but-you-somehow-do heroine
» Alpha-mallow, so fucking posh, obnoxiously attractive hero
» Yoga
» A book for bibliophiles
» Halloween
» SOFT
» Romance
» Supernatural politics and prejudices
» Overwhelmingly descriptive
» Time travel
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭐︎
.............................................
Natalia Drepina's nightscapes:
.............................................
Ilona and the tea dilemma:
I finished writing the review for Magic Rises a day before this was posted.
Y'know? The word-waffle up yonder where I welcomed the idea of Kate giving me shit for making tea like a cretin?
...
I do believe, m'lady Andrews, thou art a witch!
.............................................
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance:
The Dark Crystal is quite possibly where my perversion for watching things that scare the crap out of me originated.
I have a very clear memory of lying on my belly in the lower section of my childhood bunkbeds, transfixed by the Emperor's crumbly death scene.
But with one eye only because the rest of me was resolutely burrowed beneath the duvet and unequivocally was not coming out until the credits started rolling.
...
That shit scarred me for life!
And that's why I fucking love it.
It's why Tim Curry in Legend is one of my favourite villains ever, ever, ever.
And why Artax kicking it in The NeverEnding Story will never not make me cry.
And absolutely why the Fireys in Labyrinth still freak me the fuck out.
Because the movies from my childhood were never afraid to show me how fucking brutal life is.
They didn't treat me like the kid I was.
They showed me how fear and excitement could be wrapped up in an immensely enjoyable bundle.
Which has affected my tastes to this day.
There's a reason why Buffy, and Penny Dreadful, and Pan's Labyrinth are part of my desert island library.
I love the fantastical.
And I like to be moderately scared.
But in a very specific hokey, 80s-tastic kind of way.
Stranger Things pretty much murdered me the day it appeared on Netflix.
Straight up murdered me.
Apoplexy was had.
And I had the exact same reaction to The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance.
It's perfect.
Perfect, I tell you!
The way it looks.
The voice-casting.
The score.
The humour.
The murder!
Oh, the murder...
And most importantly, the story.
(Uh, Game of Thrones? Take fucking note of how a plot is cohesively formed, applied and carried throughout. Also, just for good measure and the sake of my exhausted brain, witness ongoing respect of female characters? Okay? Okay)
It's so good.
And I was so worried it wouldn't be.
But it was actually way more than I was expecting.
To the point that when my sister, who was watching concurrently with me, asked what I thought of each episode after we watched it, my brain kind of fizzled and popped itself into a Muppety stupor because I couldn't formulate my overexcited thoughts and it pretty much just came out as:
There's a fair chance I'm only articulate when I'm pissed off...
It was awesome, though.
So awesome.
And it looked and made me feel exactly the same way I did as a petrified, one-eyed burrito kid.
...
Fucking, Henson.
What a goddamn gift.
Fan arts:
(A fuller image can be found, here; Instagram, why must you crop everything?)
(This might be my favourite)
Behold, The Goddess Grotesques! Had to do an illustrated ode to Aughra, I’m so stoked to see her in #DarkCrystalAgeOfResistance pic.twitter.com/mq1t2f6QFJ— Kay Abernethy (@KayleePinecone) August 30, 2019
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance is on Netflix! So here’s some art I did for the comics ages back. #DarkCrystalAgeOfResistance pic.twitter.com/cqmqPqfYhb— Jeff Stokely (@JeffStokely) September 2, 2019
Here's a fantastic fan art of Deet from The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance by Barry Jones from Designer Doodles, check out his Facebook page at https://t.co/JJ12qVv3JF #DarkCrystal #TheDarkCrystal #AgeOfResistance #Netflix #Deet #FanArt pic.twitter.com/OW6diZzMVM— Trial By Stone: The Dark Crystal Podcast (@DarkCrystalPod) June 2, 2019
On today's Fan Friday we feature Barry Jones from Facesinpastel and Designer Doodles to showcase his amazing Dark Crystal pastel portraits.#DarkCrystal #DarkCrystalAgeOfResistance #Pastel #FanFriday https://t.co/ValZ5QsLl5 pic.twitter.com/x1uHHbdnfD— Trial By Stone: The Dark Crystal Podcast (@DarkCrystalPod) September 20, 2019
Finished art of Deet from the absolutely fantastic new The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance!— Lisa Sterle (@lisa_sterle) September 2, 2019
I will definitely be drawing more, there are so many amazing new characters to love. 💚 pic.twitter.com/14JcUOCOgu
Bonus Blooper Reel:
Turns out that the only thing better than a blooper reel is a blooper reel featuring puppets! pic.twitter.com/B6Pi34pH4k— See What's Next (@seewhatsnext) September 25, 2019
Ging gang, goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha, ging gang goo, ging gan goo.
I'm dying.
And then there's this majestic cacophony:
SO CLOSE. WE CAN FEEL THRA. 6 HOURS TO GO. pic.twitter.com/qkITt9qRA0— The Dark Crystal (@darkcrystal) August 30, 2019
.............................................
Birthday Funkos:
HOCUS POCUS, BITCH!
And then the rest of the day would be spent sporadically singsonging:
With the same chance of one my own witchy sisters elbowing me in the gut to shut me the hell up.
...Best. Halloween. Movie. Ever.
Fight me.
Y'know, I can't think of single time these two have interacted in the show but man, I'm goddamn thirsty for it.
Who votes for a new addition to the Hawkins Police Department?
Give us the buddy cop show we deserve, Duffer Brothers.
(My boys...)
(If I could force everyone to read The Secret History, I would)
(These make me hopeful for an updated tv adaptation, seeing as we're on a Gaiman love-kick anyway...)
Bonus Stranger Things:
(I would genuinely punch someone in the face for a Steve or a Hopper. Genuinely. Face Punch. Yes)
(Robin Goodfellow, you gorgeous mess)
(She's a gift. A gift, I tell you!)
("I'm the Wolverine")
(Experiencing PLUS discover Broadchurch in realtime is the cutest damn thing)
("Bumbling, babbling band of baboons.")
(If you want to experience pure joy whilst giving yourself a sob-induced migraine, watch Kitbull)
(How badass is this?)
(Hi, Feyre, hi)
.............................................
Cas van de Pol vs. Bambi:
Bambi (1942) in full! #twitterpated pic.twitter.com/NV7tmeybHU— Cas (@kn0nker) September 12, 2019
Okay, my memory of Bambi is pretty dated but I don't remember the eponymous fawn suffering sporadic bouts of screaming...
...but whatever, because this nearly killed me.
No, actually, I'm dead, Simba did it.
...
SIMBA!
.............................................
Martha Wells', The Cloud Roads:
Good citizens of the internet, I have a new ship.
And flying ships.
And confusingly, despicably beautiful volant Skeksi-like creatures - it's weird but trust me.
...
This is a good day.
A good, good day.
On a mildly less puerile note... The Cloud Roads is fucking incredible.
Okay, maybe that was a little puerile but the sentiment holds true.
Because it is.
Fucking incredible, that is.
It's been way too long since I've escaped my Urban Fantasy/Retold Fairytale cave and scampered off into a High Fantasy adventure.
Far too bloody long.
Because I forget, you see.
I forget how beautiful and bloodthirsty and overwhelming those stories can be.
I forget how completely I lose myself in them and how it takes book upon book to set myself to rights again.
Martha Wells' world of shapeshifting amphibious? creatures with, gotta say it, impressive wingspan is absolutely no exception.
As much as I love it, I do find cracking open a High Fantasy novel a daunting task.
Not necessarily because of the size, although that does factor in - I get restless and I like to gorge at speed, what can I say? - but because the detail in these stories is intense.
Majorly.
Fucking.
Intense.
Intimidatingly intense.
Because in essence, you are a stranger in a strange land and you have to learn their ways.
And you have to do it quickly.
Or you may as well be deaf, dumb and blind for all the sense it will make.
Trust me, I've read those books and I resented every clueless second.
Trust me, I've read those books and I resented every clueless second.
So... yes, tome-like HF is daunting and sometimes completely not worth the effort.
...
...
The Cloud Roads is so unbearably worth the effort.
By HF standards, however, it's a small book.
At 274 pages, it's practically minuscule in comparison to the 800+ page monsters I've slogged my way through.
But despite its size, this story is awesome.
And I mean that in the true sense of the word.
The depth and detail Wells instills into her world-building, her characters, her goddamn fascinating creature lore, the political system at play within her fractious monarchy, and the relationships she forms within such a small amount of time is staggering.
Absolutely staggering.
What makes it even more unbelievable is the pace she sets to do all of the above.
This is not a fast-paced story.
The first fifth of the book is spent solely with the protagonist, Moon (all the Raksuran's - Moon's species - names are nature-based and I love it; loooovvvvvveeeeee it).
Spirited away as child and then orphaned at a young age, Moon is an outcast without knowing it and Wells makes sure we understand the depths of his ignorance to his true nature but also the anguish this causes him.
Desperately trying to make a home for himself from one land-based colony to the next.
Banished and hunted when his otherness is discovered.
Moon is a strong character; resourceful, powerful and incredibly smart but so heartbreakingly wounded.
Wells doesn't let that part go unnoticed.
And she doesn't let it absorb quickly.
Wells doesn't let that part go unnoticed.
And she doesn't let it absorb quickly.
To the very last page, we are completely aware that our hero is damaged and lonely and desperate for any kind of love.
We aren't allowed to forget.
We shouldn't forget.
We aren't allowed to forget.
We shouldn't forget.
And it's painful and lovely to read.
I'm still pretty baffled as to how I fell so hard for a character this fast.
I'm still pretty baffled as to how I fell so hard for a character this fast.
I'm easy to fell, to be fair, but christ, Moon knocked me on my bipedal ass within the first few chapters.
He's so fucking soft and funny, so funny, but he'll bite your throat out if you hurt him or his without a second thought.
He's a perfect chosen one and I cannot fucking wait for more of him the next book.
And Jade, his queen and the other half of my happy little ship.
She's... I love her.
Sharp-tongued and confident but awkward and fumbling at the same time.
She's lovely.
And honestly? A champion for literary heroines who don't need to be anything but they are.
That aren't forced into a caricature of the tough girl who's unsure inside.
She's both of those things but it feels honest and unquestionably true.
Which is a trait Wells graciously bestows upon all her characters; they are entirely who they are and you believe it, but it's most evident in her handling of women.
When it comes to the dynamic between the sexes in Wells' world, there is still an obvious divide but it's not caustic the way male/female cohabitation can be.
Sharp-tongued and confident but awkward and fumbling at the same time.
She's lovely.
And honestly? A champion for literary heroines who don't need to be anything but they are.
That aren't forced into a caricature of the tough girl who's unsure inside.
She's both of those things but it feels honest and unquestionably true.
Which is a trait Wells graciously bestows upon all her characters; they are entirely who they are and you believe it, but it's most evident in her handling of women.
When it comes to the dynamic between the sexes in Wells' world, there is still an obvious divide but it's not caustic the way male/female cohabitation can be.
They respect each other.
They value each other.
As a race, the females are actually the stronger of the sexes and the males don't ever punish them for this.
It's not even a factor.
There's more strife over Moon's sudden appearance and lack of knowledge than there ever is over either gender taking command and the parts they play in the societal hierarchy of the Raksura.
Which is bloody wonderful!
And in fact, there isn't even a divide or stigma between sexes when it comes to attraction and mating.
The Raksura and their base counterparts, the Fell, are as a species openly bisexual.
Essentially, you fuck and fall in love with who you want to fuck and fall in love with.
No big deal.
...
I might be happy dancing right now.
No, I'm totally happy dancing right now because finally.
FINALLY.
Can alternate universes be real so I can go live with these majestic creatures instead of the dumb monsters I'm stuck with on this planet?
Please?
Obviously, I'd survive about five minutes because I'm the type of person you throw to the hungry horde to feast on while you buy yourself some time.
But I know this.
I'm cool with it.
And I'd take those five blissful minutes before I was served up for dinner just so Jade could tell me I'm an idiot and companionably lick my neck.
I shit you not.
...
I went puerile again.
Sorry?
What I'm inarticulately trying to say is that The Cloud Roads is a rich, free-thinking, nuanced story of love, desperation, family and vicious cruelty set in a harsh but lush landscape that I tried to read as slowly as possible and failed miserably at because no matter how slothful I made my progress, there was never going to be enough story to sate my thirst for the Raskura's world.
I went puerile again.
Sorry?
What I'm inarticulately trying to say is that The Cloud Roads is a rich, free-thinking, nuanced story of love, desperation, family and vicious cruelty set in a harsh but lush landscape that I tried to read as slowly as possible and failed miserably at because no matter how slothful I made my progress, there was never going to be enough story to sate my thirst for the Raskura's world.
Which is cool because it's a series.
...
...
I wish I had some quotes to show you how lovely and vivid the writing is but I couldn't stay still long to highlight any passages, it was just that bloody good, so... time for the requisite fan art portion of the unchecked fangirling?:
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The bed-hog is superman-ing:
...
Bed-hog.
Sex work:
Bryn Greenwood is an author I'm immensely protective of.
She wrote an extremely controversial, semi-autobiographical book that, to quote myself, morally tore me to pieces.
I've never, ever, felt so conflicted over the contents of a story before.
It utterly broke me.
To the point of, a few days afterwards, my mum found me crying on my bed.
Not howling or sobbing.
Just quietly crying because I couldn't cope with all the emotions skittering through me.
And then I had to explain why I was breaking my heart over a story that didn't possess any personal meaning for me but had somehow shattered me... and then it got worse.
And better.
...
I don't think I've ever been so... messy over a story before.
I kept it by my bed for a month because I needed it there, I needed to look up certain passages again and again, I just... needed it.
And to be fair, I read All the Ugly and Wonderful Things amidst a particularly turbulent time in my life.
My depression was hacking away at me minute by minute.
My health sucked because of it.
I was experiencing true insomnia for the first time.
I was basically an open emotional wound, and an easy target for a story like All the Ugly and Wonderful Things.
But I think it would have ripped me open, depression or not.
It's just that kind of story.
A wonderful and indeed, ugly story.
And at the time, I didn't even know it was semi-autobiographical.
I didn't know Greenwood was brave enough to take her own story and let people see.
A story that would inevitably leave her open for judgement and pity.
But I don't feel either of these things for her.
I'm still not sure how I feel (this review sums up some of my thoughts pretty well, though) but I definitely don't feel those.
I do feel altered, however.
Like my perspective and morals have been put off balance.
Like I don't quite know exactly what is is to be a person and maybe never will.
Like I'm still learning.
And I am.
I do it daily.
Every time I open my Twitter feed, I learn something.
My views evolve, they're bettered, and at times, entirely changed.
And I feel... healthier for it.
Stronger and more whole in my beliefs.
As an adolescent, I don't remember feeling much about sex work, other than fear.
Not of the act but for the people providing it.
I'd see it portrayed in movies, tv, the news and it was always shown as this horrific, yet somehow mockable life choice.
And whilst others would be disgusted by that behaviour, I could only think, but what if they get hurt?
Even if it's their choice and they enjoy it... what if they get hurt?
I wasn't focused on their supposed denigration, that what they were participating in somehow made them unclean or unworthy, even if they did it by choice.
No. I had more concern over the people who judge them. Who abuse them. Who put them in that situation.
So, does the fact that Bryn Greenwood was a sex worker before she was a successful, published author bother me?
No.
Does it make me judge her life choices?
Absolutely not.
Does it make me think lesser of people who choose to be sex workers because it makes them happy?
No, why would it?
Does it make me angry that she and others like her were put in a situation where this was their only option?
Yes. So very, yes.
Does it scare the crap out of me that this could happen to any one of us because of the way our lives have been structured by a system that routinely fails us?
Yes. Absolutely. So fucking much.
But does it make me think less of sex workers or of Bryn Greenwood?
I think my answer's pretty clear.
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The Tiny Chef Show:
I... I don't even know what the fuck this is but I am deeply, deeply in love with it.
Every single time he scream-giggles, I completely lose it.
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Farm Boy's response to this fuckery:
There’s a shortage of perfect movies in this world. It would be a pity to damage this one. https://t.co/5N8Q3P2e5G— Cary Elwes (@Cary_Elwes) September 18, 2019
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Kaz Brekker, how dare you?:
Wowowowowow https://t.co/jKb5JF6CGo— Leigh Bardugo (@LBardugo) September 23, 2019
Jo Kay, I love you.
I miss The Dregs.
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BARDUGO!:
If I write SoC3, it won't be for another couple of years. But I confess, I have a notebook where I've been writing down ideas for it. https://t.co/CDeUCqDy4d— Leigh Bardugo (@LBardugo) September 22, 2019
My authors are a bunch of merciless teases.
...
And I love it.
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You go too fast for me, Crowley:
So I can literally wear my love for the ineffable husbands on my sleeve.
Pin by Wildfire Supply
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Sheya:
— Sheya (@dingkuang1) May 19, 2019
So golden...
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Because I definitely needed to know which Schitt's Creek character I am:
And I couldn't be prouder.
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I'm hungry:
This is how I wanna start making my videos pic.twitter.com/FFScCT8hQM— Snackie Chan~* (@xoheej) September 1, 2019
The food in anime is always so bloody beautiful.
And I love that Michael Chow went to effort to frickin' nail it.
...
I think I have to go watch Flavors of Youth now.
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The DeVirs:
One of Those Days is the comic love child of husband and wife team, Yehuda and Maya DeVir; and now actual love child, Ariel.
And it's so fucking lovely, I could puke.
Funny and dirty and so damn nerdy.
And at times painfully honest.
This is actually the first image I saw in the series:
It hurt my heart to see this.
But I liked seeing it.
I liked seeing something so painful candidly put out into the world.
Not dramatised.
Not to score points on the internet.
Just because it's a truth and the DeVirs wanted it out there.
...
Again.
So. Fucking. Lovely.
And they cushion it with 80% of their content being things like this:
Ughhhhh, I try not to buy into "couple goals" too much but these two are making it impossible!
Precious, talented dorks.
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I think I'd let Tom Felton hug me:
therapy: expensive— 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 (@gayrauder) September 22, 2019
tom felton hugging a little girl and whispering that he’s a nice person unlike like draco: free pic.twitter.com/1UpVRRELwN
Fun Fact: I fucking love it when actors who play villains are absolute sweethearts in real life.
It makes me all squishy inside.
...
Disgusting.
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