may, part i

June 01, 2022

Things I enjoyed in the month of May:

This month's Monthlies will be separated into three parts because I joined two new fandoms and lost my fucking mind.
...
Come back tomorrow for Part II!

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Holly Black's, How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories:

Cardan had grown up in the balance, a wild thing to be cosseted by courtiers and scowled at by the High King. No one much liked him, and he told himself he cared little for anyone else. And if he sometimes thought about how he might do something to win his father's favour, something to make the Court respect him and love him, he kept that to himself. He certainly asked no one to tell him stories, and yet he found it was nice to be told one. He kept that to himself, too.


Cardan Greenbriar.
That delightful motherfucker.
(A deluge of Timothée Chalamet gifs are about to happen because he just is Cardan)

If there was one thing I craved more than anything else at the end of the Folk of Air trilogy, it was simply that: more.
More ethereal, bloodied adventures.
More loving, spiteful time with Jude and Cardan.
More fairy intrigue.
More barbed words and honeyed deals.
More of Elfhame itself.
But especially, especially, more Cardan.
For most of the three books, the story's told from Jude's perspective: we see how she sees, how she feels, what happens to her; which is all bloody tremendous because she's a kickass heroine and I love her surly face, but all those other moments, those unseen incidences which ultimately bring her to the conclusion of her story are hidden or relayed to her from potentially untrustworthy sources.
Elfhame is after all home to the Fae, and what do Mab's children love more than anything else?
Unbridled chaos.
The Hermitage in one breath: "Russian Ark" - Liden & Denz

Tricks, and deals, and diabolical schemes.
It's what they know best, it's their greatest love beyond themselves.
And who's better acquainted with this brand of chaos than Cardan smirking shit-biscuit Greenbriar?
Animated gif about cute in TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET! by ‎‎

But alas, his perspective of things is something we're not privy to until the final book, and now in this collection of tales.


He cuts his gaze toward his unpredictable, mortal High Queen, whose wild brown hair is blowing around her face, whose amber eyes are alight when she looks at him.
They are two people who ought to have, by all rights, remained enemies forever,
He can't believe his good fortune, can't trace the path that got him here.


And it does in fact read like a book of classic fairy tales, full of riddles and allegories and challenges, but with one central character, the aforementioned motherfucker, instead of many.
Which is such a clever way to show the readers how Cardan came to be the eponymous Cruel Prince and then our beloved Wicked King.


Under Balekin's tutelage, Cardan remade himself. He learned to drink a vast variety and quantity of wines, learned how to take powders that made him laugh and fall down and feel nothing at all. He visited the weavers and tailors with his brother, choosing garments with cuffs of feathers and exquisite embroidery, with collars as sharp as the points of his ears, and fabrics as soft as the tuft of his tail―a tail he tucked away, for it showed too much of what he schooled his face to hide. A poisonous flower displays its bright colors, a cobra flares its hood; predators ought not to shrink from extravagance. And that was what he was being polished into being.
And when he returned to the palace dressed magnificently, behaving with perfect deference toward Eldred, shown off by his brother as though he were a tamed hawk, everyone pretended he was no longer in disgrace.


Instead of an epilogue to feed my fellow hungry shipping beasts who've been patiently salivating for any glimpse of how our thorny couple are doing, Holly Black showed us intrinsic moments in Cardan's history:


🪲 His first lesson in cruelty
🪲 Discovering mortal literature
🪲 Truly noticing Jude for the first time
🪲 First betrayal
🪲 The origins of the cruel mask he wears
🪲 His jealousy of Jude's family
🪲 An act of kindness


But also moments from his present:


🪲 Visiting the mortal realm with Jude
🪲 Righting an injustice
🪲 Spending time with a true family, fae and mortal


All those moments that make up the fabric of Cardan that we wouldn't have seen without Holly Black gifting them to us in this collection.
I've thought near a thousand times about what would be running through Cardan's mind in certain situations in the trilogy:


🦋 Jude's knife at his throat
🦋 The river
🦋 Banishing Jude
🦋 "Have I told you how hideous you look tonight?"
🦋 The Queen of Mirth
🦋 The serpent


Basically every second with Jude, if I'm being entirely honest - I'm nothing if not total trash for my OTP.

We all knew what he meant when he declared his hatred for Jude: I love you, I love you, I love you.
It was clear as day.


She ought to be nothing. She ought to be insignificant. She ought not to matter.
He had to make her not matter.
But every night, Jude haunted him. The coils of her hair. The calluses on her fingers. An absent bite of her lip. It was too much, the way he thought about her. He knew it was too much, but he couldn't stop.


...
imageimage
But it's one thing to know, to imagine, to speculate and attach our own feelings and desires to those moments (fanfiction and fanart exist for a reason, thank fuck), but another to be outright shown by the author themselves.
I know for many that isn't necessary but I'm a simple goblin creature who needs show and tell to survive my goblin existence.
And Holly Black fed me quite well.


"You're probably missing your fancy palace right about now," she whispers to him in the dark.
He traces the edge of her lip, runs his finger over the soft human hair of her cheek, pausing on a freckle, and comes to rest on a tiny scar, a line of pale skin drawn there by some blade.
He considers explaining how much he despised the palace as a child, how he dreamed of escaping Elfhame. She knows most of that already. Then he considers reminding her that the fancy palace is now as much hers as his. "Not in the least," he says instead, and feels her smile against his skin.
But once he starts recalling his desire to leave Elfhame, he can't help but also recall how desperately she wanted to stay. And how difficult that had been, how hard she had fought, how hard she was still fighting, even now that she didn't have to.
"Why didn't you hate everyone?" he asks. "Everyone, all the time."
"I hated you," Jude reassures him, bring her mouth to his.


Not all of the moments I craved Cardan-clarity for were shown but some definitely were - the river scene was a particularly nice surprise - and some new revelations to add to list.

🐞 The complexity of his, Locke and Nicasia's relationship
🐞 How he truly feels about his brothers
🐞 And of course, Baby Cardan

Image
(art by rosiethorns88)

I live for Baby Cardan.
But also Cardan grown up and how he behaves in the mortal realm with Jude, and all those odd little moments of a fae King experiencing human food, visiting a 7-Eleven, indoor plumbing!
timotheechalamet

Even simply what our normally gilded princeling would wear!
I'm fully convinced it'd be something like this:

I revelled in all these moments, more so than the ones in Elfhame because it's something truly unseen from the previous books.
Plus, I just like seeing him out of his element.


The night before they are set to meet with the solitary fey in the mortal world, Vivi and Heather take them out for bubble tea. There are no actual bubbles. Instead, he is served toothsome balls soaked in a sweet, milky tea. Vivi orders grass jelly, and Heather gets a lavender drink that is the color of the flowers and just as fragrant.
Cardan is fascinated and insists on having a sip of each. Then he eats a bite of the half-dozen types of dumplings they order―mushroom, cabbage and pork, cilantro and beef, hot-oil chicken dumplings that numb his tongue, then creamy custard to cool it, along with sweet red bean that sticks to his teeth.
Heather glares at Cardan as though he bit the head off a sprite in the middle of a banquet.
"You can't eat some of a dumpling and put it back," Oak insists. "That's revolting."
Cardan considers that villainy takes many forms, and he is good at all of them.
Jude stabs the remained of the bean bun with a singly chopstick, popping it into her mouth and chewing with obvious satisfaction. "Good," she gets out when she notices the others looking at her.
Vivi laughs and orders more dumplings.


It's delightful.
This whole collection was delightful, made more so with Rovina Cai's illustrations strewn throughout.

But it has left me itchy for that elusive more we began with.
Holly Black did say "never say never".
Maybe there's a little more J+C in my future.
mysteryoflovemyway.tumblr.com - Tumbex


Ps. A lot of this was happening while I took photos:
He never looks directly in the camera.
...
Demon.
Wierenga GIFs - Get the best gif on GIFER
 

Few fanciful fairy fanarts:
Audrey Estok

icandrawthingz

AVENDELL

Also, look at Holly Black's office doorknob:

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WANT!

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Tyler:

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Suspect #1:

Suspect #2:

Suspect #3:

Suspect #4:

Tyler is all of us.
But with a better laugh.

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Shubbabang:

Quick fixes for this particular problem:

✓ Don't go out in natural light
✓ Avoid mirrors at all costs
✓ Drink the blood of the patriarchy to sustain a natural flush

...
Become a vampire, basically.
What We Do In The Shadows Wwdits GIF - What We Do In The Shadows Wwdits  Nadja - Discover & Share GIFs

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Station Eleven:

Beautiful.
Elegiac.
Non-linear.
Shakespearean.
Surreal
Gut-wrenching.
Hopeful.
And much more.
This adaptation did for me what the book couldn't.
For some reason, when I read Emily St. John Mandel's allegorical, post-apocalyptic tale, I couldn't see past its poetry.
And it wasn't the book's fault, I could absolutely see its beauty, almost too clearly, but my heart just couldn't connect to it.
My heart's an idiot sometimes.
But perhaps the idiot organ simply needed to see it in motion.
Actually, not perhaps, it absolutely did, because I essentially osmosed into the show.
Every frame was a painting, every conversation a sonnet, even the bleakest parts felt oddly like a memory.
I've avoided pretty much every viral pandemic-based media for the past couple of years, with a few exceptions, because it's been too bloody close to home, but I'm glad I let this one past my defences because it's... it's simply, really fucking beautiful.
#station eleven from i don't wanna hear you say it.

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Ampreh:

Feeding my need to watch artists do the Procreate.
*bitterly twirls ink stick*
Gale force pen spinning | Pen Spinning | Know Your Meme

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Babies:

The pond is vibrating and I'm impatiently waiting for leggies.
(Art by Louie Zong)

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AbiToads' Mushlings:

Actual mushrooms?
Putrid squish.
Adorable, illustrated Mushlings?

Bouncing Mushroom GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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The 30 Most Anticipated SFF Books of 2022 by Christina Orlando for Tor:

...
It's so comforting when someone else voices the way you feel inside.
Tips From The Team: How To Work Remotely - She Should Run


Ps. I favourited basically everything on this list.
Most Anticipated Releases of 2020 | The Awkward Book Blogger

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Rovina Cai to illustrate Coraline:

It'll be limited edition and published by Lyras Books.
...
Do Want Give It To Me GIF

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Ibon:

Like a star going supernova.
So fucking pretty.

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The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel season four:

Midge Maisel is a speed-talking goddess and I will not hear otherwise.
Swearing Rachel Brosnahan GIF by The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Ps. My ship sailed.
Thank You And Goodnight GIFs | Tenor

PPS. Marvellous Midge fanart by Luz Tapia:

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Marion Bordeyne:

My favourite part?
Chin whiskers.
This is peak emo.
photo tumblr_n7hgzh9NF11sgh9tbo4_r1_500.gif | Robert pattinson, Kristen and  robert, Guy pearce

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Nichole Lillian Ryan:

Her little face brings me joy.
Like when I look at Jigglypuff:
Animated gif about gif in Pokémon by BriBri Martinez

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First Kill coming June 10th:

Adapted from a V.E. Schwab short which I actually haven't read yet but... it's V.E. Schwab and sapphic vampires that Schwab herself describes as "Killing Eve meets Buffy".
...
Need I Say More Do I Have To Say More GIF - Need I Say More Do I Have To Say  More No More Words Needed - Discover & Share GIFs


Plus, look at this badass fanart Jenifer Prince was commissioned to make for the release:

Also:


Now, if Ridley Scott could get off his arse and produce the Villains adaption I'd sell a sibling for (sorry siblings), it'd round this trifecta of good authorly news off quite nicely.
Make It So Picard GIF - Make It So Picard GIFs

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Alina T aka. Beanie:

It me.
Usually in reverse, though.
My sweet/savoury taste receptors are stupidly sensitive.
It's an endless cycle of seesaw spectrum eating.
Latest Himouto Umaru Chan GIFs | Gfycat

Also, I am this, this is me:
Ketnipz

There are two bowls of Ramen inside of me right now...
21 Things You Didn't Know About Ramen

...and I am in a world of pain.
GIF ponyo - animated GIF on GIFER

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Justine Cunha's, DTIYS challenge:

And Richelle Canto's response:

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If I Don't Remember What I Read, Did I Really Read It At All? by Molly Templeton for Tor:

I feel this phenomenon acutely.
I read so much.
All the time.
If there's a minute to spare, my face will be planted firmly inside a story.
It's more than a want, it's unequivocal need.
Life support.
Addiction.
My one true love.
But ask me the plot to my favourite series, even if I've just read the damn thing, and I will look at you owlishly and question if my brain is a functioning piece of muscle or a lump of spongy cake left behind when humans were being designed.
I just don't have it.
I can tell you how I felt, though.
(Even if that's simply my weakling fist banging down on the kitchen table because the author broke my fucking heart and I'm not o-fucking-kay - still not over it, Mishell Baker, still not bloody over it)
My favourite characters and mostly why.
Whether the story was sensory, atmospheric, balls-to-the-wall mental, melancholic, etc.
The tone of the writing.
If it made me laugh.
But details?
Cue the lump of spongy cake.
Brain Tired GIF - Brain Tired Dancing - Discover & Share GIFs

I don't know why I'm like this, and honestly, I thought I was pretty much alone in only holding onto the feeling of the literature I love.
But yet again, the internet showed me otherwise.
When it's not being an absolutely dumpster fire, the web really is one my favourite places to be.

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Adeena Grubb and Andy Biddle's, Trickle Treat:

Here she is, pre-devoured:

I'm gonna say it 'til I can't:

STOP MOTION IS FUCKING AMAZING!


Ps. You might recognise their work from a particular advert:

Discovering artists from out in the wild is so stupidly cool.

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Met Gala dresses:
Luz Tapia

Isabella Agosti

Ismael González

Nobody followed the damn brief except a select few (Blake LivelyNicola CoughlanBillie Eilish), but nobody ever does at this waste of money event.
But that doesn't stop me lusting over all the dresses.
...
Hypocrisy, thy name is Louise.
Ihavenoshame GIF - Ihavenoshame - Discover & Share GIFs

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Be vewy, vewy quiet:
(Excuse the slapping I got from a branch near the end of this; it was all in the name of fur-based science)

The boy lives on treats, and yet..

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A little Mermay:
Amanda Macfarlane

Katherine Shuda

Daniel Tal

Brizz

Fern aka. Firnelle

Alejandra Oviedo aka. Rüttu


I'm particularly fond of the buff brigade flexing for the fishes.
Animated gif about gif in Art by Clark Quinto

Bonus Brizz's Land Before Time fanart:

I'm crying at the first note of the intro.

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Trauma Brain Fog:

I found this sincerely comforting, because for the a while now, I've been twisting my words together while I talk.
I'll be trying to say one word and somehow mesh it together with the following or previous word.
Like my brain and mouth are constantly stepping on each other's heels/toes/faces.
And honestly? It's been freaking me the fuck out!
I joke all the time about my brain slowly falling away like wet cake, but I never really meant it 'til this shit started happening.
It never occurred to me that it could be trauma.
Over two years of fucking trauma, and stress, and chronic pain.
FUCK.
I feel better now.
Genuinely better.
Breathe GIFs | Tenor

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Conner Peirson:

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Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: A Schitt's Creek Farewell:

We're in double digits of watching Schitt's Creek at this point, and it gets better every time I watch it.
But nothing makes me sob like this little documentary.
#schitts creek from livelovecaliforniadreams

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Claudia Voglhuber:

Listen to the good lady snail.
She's wise.
Hi Hello GIF - Hi Hello Snail GIFs

Bonus:
Maybell Eequay

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Felicia Day and Tom Lenk being all of us for one minute twenty:

Devastated.
Felicia day GIF - Find on GIFER

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Conversations with Friends:

It's complicated how I feel about this.
Normal People was a straightforward, awkward-tension-kinda falling in love, it immediately felt right.
Conversations with Friends is different, painful in a sense.
It was glacially slow, to the point of it being almost too slow, the dialogue was stilted and unbearably monosyllabic, and the characters are pretty unlovable.
But there was something.
Maybe it's an effect of the direction, cinematography and score/soundtrack - the combination just does something to me.
And even though the story is eye-wateringly dull, it does pull you in.
I conversely looked forward to watching it each night, even though I knew I'd be bored.
...
I know that doesn't make sense.
And that's because this show doesn't really make sense.
But it does bring up some valid aspects of polyamory, monogamy, adultery, heteronormative and heterosexual relationships.
Grief, depression, solace.
#joe alwyn from 90s kid coming in strong

And for me, what really struck me in the chest was the way the show dealt with Endometriosis.
I've never seen a show handle it before, which is insane considering the sheer number of people who suffer with this chronically painful and destructive condition, which has no cure, and is mostly dismissed by medical professionals as "a really bad period."
Conversations with Friends said fuck that, and showed what it really does to a person's body.
And I respect the fuck out of that.
So, even though the show was clunkily slow, and is a mere shadow of Normal People, I'll hold it in high regard for showing what no one else has the backbone to show:

People's pain at its messiest.

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Alexa Cordeiro:

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Remi Cristanelli (remicristanelli) - Profile | Pinterest

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INFJ Problems:

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Giflytics | Analytics for GIFs

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Love Life season two:

It still bothers me how straightforward and heteronormative this show's take on relationships and what a happy ending should look like is (marriage and babies), but I enjoy seeing William Jackson Harper out of his Chidi-suit and how fucking bizarre and delightful that is.
Love Life Dancing GIF by HBO Max

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Connie Kang:

You barely ever see Death Becomes Her fanart and that in itself is a fucking crime.
It's so unhinged and funny and oversaturated.
And the ladies.
Oh, the ladies.
Tianshan fics — Movie I think you should watch based on your...

Iconic.
Bitches.

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Rich Webber:

Major Trap Door feels:
Trap Door GIF - Trap Door Globbits GIFs

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Bonkers:
It's George Miller, so of course it's gonna be amazing, but I'm still pissed this isn't a Mad Max sequel!
Three Thousand Years of Longing is about bloody right.


What the... fuck?
A24 makes the wildest shit.

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Isabella Agosti:

Beth Harmon's hair.
Pin on story |

I think it's rewatch time.

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Alexander Gioiosa:

Seriously badass.
The Temps Commission was my favourite piece of set design from The Umbrella Academy season two.
Fishbowl Head was top tier robo weirdness.
Aj Aj Carmichael GIF - Aj Aj Carmichael Poisson Rouge - Discover & Share  GIFs

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Rewatching Good Omens:

Is the best excuse for adorable fanart of the adorable ineffable husbands:
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/675364727599382528/aaaaaaaaaaa
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/674732349159849985/that-was-unexpected-what-really-happened-thank
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/681514599393148928/flaming-sword-oh-you-mean-my-portable-marshmallow
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/678254712550817792/yes-we-serve-the-best-snakebite-in-the-world
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/677928075255775232/thank-you-ashfae-for-making-a-donation-to-doctors
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/677351859202277376/congratulations-dear-what-a-lovely-church-to-get
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/676167829020655616/chocolate-angel-happy-valentines-day-anybody
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/675902906730496000/act-cool
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/675629092134141952/okay-but-this-was-what-came-to-my-mind-right-after
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/675086504387854336/who-needs-a-blanket-anyway-really-who-needs-one
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/674451552622297088/this-side-is-better
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/674172553726705664/no-talk-me-im-angy
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/673817934900101120/you-cant-beat-me
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/672736975082618880/i-headcanon-that-their-ranks-got-reversed-as-they
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/668379795614253056/handling-a-bratty-snek-101
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/665389183606620161/happy-filming-starting-day
https://lookitsstevie.tumblr.com/post/658244526521171968/sauntered-vaguely-downwards

lookitsstevie

Hannah MacDonald

I am both pumped and understandably nervous for the second season.
But I was a sceptical asshole the first time round and it turned out, in the words of Aziraphale:
Tip Top GIF - Tip Top Tickety - Discover & Share GIFs

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Aiden Burkley and my bone girls:

I think about this moment constantly.

https://numberless.tumblr.com/post/665133856797687808/dear-everyone-please-read-gideon-the-ninth-so-i

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Titsay's burdened bumbles:

...
Best Bee High Five GIFs | Gfycat


More insanity tomorrow.
See you weirdos there.


(Read Part II, Part II.V, Part III)

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