floor cry - swimming team

July 21, 2019

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Dex said...

Holy fuck! We've reached maximum comment capacity on the other blog post! I wasn't even sure where I should post my reply so I just went here because I am totally fucking obsessed with this song :)

So, I will totally watch The Bake Off because I don't even question your orders these days (as if I ever did) :)

Ugh, I've agreed to go on a road trip to the south of the island today for some reason. Although I will get cake out of it. Maybe that was the reason :)

And yes, Angela is terrifying but I actually quite like her :)

Dex said...

Okay, so I did get cake but even better, on the way back, we stopped off at a house where there were 6 tiny kittens that we got to hold and play with! :D

Louise Boyd said...

You got cake and kittens?!
...
I'm sorry, but you are now dead to me 0_0


Ps. I didn't even know there was a capacity =/

Dex said...

It was almost worth the feeling of carsickness I had to deal with. Three of the kitten were even sleeping in a little pile :)

Louise Boyd said...

Ughhhhhh, I hate you. You suck. What colour were they?

You get carsickness? Interesting...

Dex said...

They were grey tabbies. I was almost too scared to hold them but someone pretty much forced one on me and I've pretty much not been able to think about anything else since :)

I don't know but my carsickness as a passenger has gotten so bad lately, I can barely cope with anything more than a drive around town. It makes me feel like such an idiot when I talk about travelling or going on holiday and I can't even manage a 30 minute car trip :)

I genuinely look forward to the first of the month so I can read your monthly blog posts :)

Louise Boyd said...

Ooooh, I see a kitten in Fungus' future!
Once they get their claws in you, it's game over, man, game over!
:D

So, essentially you feel like tossing cookies whenever you're being transported anywhere?
Hmm. Let's hope you never experience time travel. I feel... I feel that won't end well =/

Dex said...

Maybe one day. I hear they can be bed-hogs though :)

I'm okay when driving though. So maybe I could time travel Marty McFly style :)

Seeing Charlie's paw stuck up in the air made my day. That and your list of favourite urban fantasy novels. I hardly read but you know how excited I get about lists :)

Dex said...

New Mexico by Palpitation

https://luxuryrecords.bandcamp.com/track/new-mexico

Dex said...

Not sure how I feel about still being ID'd for alcohol in Tesco :S

Louise Boyd said...

And why were you buying alcohol, young man?
Please tell me it was for boozy baking!

Dex said...

I wish! It was just a birthday present for one of my quiz team friends :)

Do your sisters do much boozy baking? I have a feeling that would be my preferred method of alcohol ingestion :)

Louise Boyd said...

It's tradition for Em to make Tiramisu every Christmas so I can gorge myself to the point of puking.
...
It's also tradition that I push past the urge to puke and gorge some more.
=/

Now I want a rum brownie.
And I don't even like rum!

Dex said...

I love Tiramisu even though it's store bought since I don't have an Em of my own :)

This may be a really stupid question but what kind of alcohol does Emily use when she makes Tiramisu?

Louise Boyd said...

So not a stupid question; seeing as you can use all sorts.
But personally, we like Kahlúa and Spiced Rum (Sailor Jerry is the best).
And we just so happen to have a store bought Tiramisu in the fridge because my dad likes to feed us the good stuff.

How long did the fridge cake last?
Did you unhinge your jaw and devour it like a basilisk?

Weird question that my mum wanted me to ask you, but do you see any of this woolen nonsense:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-49926969

Also, she suggested we adopt you and build you a tiny house at the bottom of the garden.
Like a Poddington Pea.
:D

Dex said...

Wool week - I just see all the people wondering around, wearing their toories :)

And we did have 'Fair Isle Friday' in the office last week, so a lot of people came in wearing their Fair Isle patterns and had their photo taken :)

I did take the fridge cake into work otherwise I probably would have devoured it whole! But now I know how easy it is to make... thanks, Lilliputty :)

I'm actually going to keep a note of the Kahlúa and Spiced Rum because alcohol soaked Tiramisu sounds so good that I feel like I'm really going to need it in my life at some point :)

I'd love to live in your garden like a Poddington Pea but I'm not sure how Charlie would feel about it :D Maybe if I was pea-size, he wouldn't mind so much :)

Ps. Toories are woolly hats. Sorry, I just realised it's a Shetland word and you might not know what I was talking about :)

Louise Boyd said...

You islanders are weird. But I do love Fair Isle and I guess I'm sorta fond of you, so... I'll embrace your weirdness.
For now.
<_<

If you were Poddington Pea-sized, Charlie would eat you.
I'm not even kidding.
He'd eat you up and leave your half eaten corpse outside Em's window in the usual twisted tableau he usually sets up for her to "enjoy".
Little sicko.

Dex said...

Very weird :) Knitting's one of the things they make us do in primary school. I remember I used to quite like knitting at home for a while when I was very little. I could never make anything but I just liked knitting rows of the same thing over and over again like a crazy person :)

Does your mum knit at all? Or Emily since I know she's quite crafty? :)

I am probably going to end up as a piece of Charlie art one of these days! I do love how you make him sound like Hannibal Lecter :)

Dex said...

I really like the evening sky here when it seems calm and there's not many clouds and the sun is setting behind the hill. Not really sure why I noticed it so much tonight but I did. I just thought it looked really pretty :)

Dex said...

Every time I re-watch Schitt's Creek I'm always totally caught off guard by Bob's weird run/walk :)

https://media0.giphy.com/media/3ohhww2SYG1scRvsSA/giphy.gif

Louise Boyd said...

Holy fuck, we knit exactly the same way.
I can't do fancy shapes.
Only rectangles.
And it's so fucking satisfying.
0_0
Except for the itchy fingers. Being allergic to wool and acrylic wool is a real downer.
Weird that I can wear acrylic wool, though =/
My body is a weird fucking entity and it likes to take the piss. Often.

Mum doesn't knit, she likes to sew but not in a conventional, pretty pretty way. She makes these really organic looking things inspired by micro photography and aerial shots of absurd but beautiful landscapes.
She's a cool chick, my mum.
She can knot, though. She can most crafty things when she needs to. Very fucking annoying. Em's exactly the same. Talented bastards <_<
Did you know she made me a No Face for my 30th? From scratch. No pattern. Made it with felt and stuffed him with cotton balls. It's the best thing she's ever done for me 0_0
Now I just have to convince her make me the complete Ghibli set... and various other things!

Why have I never noticed Bob's weird run before?! It so cute and weird!
I love Bob.
I actually think I love everyone on that bloody show.
And it's ending this month :(
I'm distraught, Dexterous.
DISTRAUGHT!

Ps. It's very cute, my family keep asking how you are. I think we've adopted you from afar :) I'm not calling you brother, though. You'll always be Dex or Fungus or Shithead if you're pissing me off :D

Pps. I just ate a Twirl for lunch because the kitchen's being DIY'd and it's only thing I had in my room. Are you proud? I feel sick -_-

Dex said...

What?! Emily made you a No Face! :O To quote Lana Kane, I am literally wet with jealousy right now!

I like that we have the knitted rectangles in common :) And for some reason, I actually remember you telling me about your wool allergy. Otherwise I would have sent you a Burra Bear years ago :)

'She makes these really organic looking things inspired by micro photography and aerial shots of absurd but beautiful landscapes.'

Honestly, I think your mum must escaped from the pages of some wonderful fictional world years ago and found her way into the real world!

Don't tell them this but I've become ever so slightly fond of your family :)

Shithead's fine. Or Fucker or Asshole... :D

Ps. At least tell me it was a proper 2 bar Twirl :)

Pps. I just know Schitt's Creek is going to break my heart into a million tiny pieces :(

Dex said...

I love when you add to your shower jams :)

Dex said...

My parents are away to Philippines for 5 weeks (starting today) so would your family still be okay with adopting me? :)

Louise Boyd said...

" To quote Lana Kane, I am literally wet with jealousy right now!

You know exactly how to make me cackle, Dexterous "Fungus" Epistolean.

We'll happily adopt you, my dear. You'll have to deal with me routinely shouting obscenities at you and demanding sugar, though. That cool?

Ps. It wasn't a Twirl, I was so hungry I got confused. It was a Timeout. I still felt sick =/ But not so sick to not shove Tiramisu down my throat later that day.
My dad keeps buying it and I have no willpower 0_0

Dex said...

Something like 'bring me rainbow sherbet you little fucker'? :) And I'm almost certain it would reach you intact. Depriving you of sugar just seems so wrong :)

I feel like I should demand you eat something savoury but I only had a bag of chocolate pretzels for lunch :S Also, I'm slightly suspicious of people who refuse Tiramisu :)

I remember when you sent me the first season of Archer for my birthday and I didn't think I'd be into it :)

Louise Boyd said...

Chocolate pretzels?!
Fuck.
Now I'm jealous. I had toast. =/ I'm kind of shit at lunch.

Do you know what I find amazing and truly fucking spooky? H. Jon Benjamin is the voice of Archer. He's also the voice of Bob from Bob's Burgers.
Exactly the same voice but I could tell them apart with my eyes closed.
...
What sorcery is this?!

Ps. You need to watch Bob's Burgers. I demand it.

Dex said...

You're a witch. I bet you can even tell when it's Archer pretending to be Bob while you're wearing your pink bunny ears hat!

One of these days, you can keep me locked away in a small room with a tv and make me watch all the things you know I should have :)

Ps. Toast is good though :)

Louise Boyd said...

Are you actively giving me permission to Clockwork Orange you?
Truly?
Because, Dex, it's gonna get ridiculous.
There'll be unicorns and depressed foreign people and endless amounts of violent nonsense.
Are you prepared for that?

Dex said...

So maybe one night it would be the film Legend, followed by a few episodes of The Returned, and then I don't know, Battle Royale?

I have a feeling you're shaking your head right now and thinking I really have no idea just how ridiculous it's going to get :D

Dex said...

I was in the corner shop at lunchtime today and the woman in front of me was buying Nik Naks, Skips and a bag of flying saucers. It just seemed like such a 90s kids' lunch it kind of made my day :)

Dex said...

For absolutely no reason, here's a photo of Freya and my mum...

https://www.flickr.com/photos/95083192@N03/48919670547/in/dateposted-friend/

Louise Boyd said...

Freya's purple wellies are killing me.
She is too cute.
How dare you have a creatures this adorable in your family?
How dare you?

Weirdly, that is actually how I imagined your mum would look. I don't know why. I just did. Maybe I am a witch?

So maybe one night it would be the film Legend, followed by a few episodes of The Returned, and then I don't know, Battle Royale?

Excuse me, my friend but that is a boss ass lets-educate-dex-in-the-ways-of-majestic-visual-media sounding evening.
Boss.
Ass.

Dex said...

Definitely a witch :) That photo was taken in Aberdeen a few days ago (my parents stopped by on their way to Philippines). Actually, my cousin and Freya are going there next week to meet up with them on their holiday. I'm hoping to visit when they're back in November and also that they will be coming up to Shetland for Christmas.

I know, Freya's only two and she's already way more stylish than me! She's also the most polite and even tempered girl you ever did meet that I can't quite believe she came from our family :) Okay, I'll stop going on about how perfect she is now :)

Boss ass! Maggot, you make me so happy sometimes :D

Louise Boyd said...

I don't know if it's an awesome or terrifying thing that you'll be witnessing a two year old at Christmas.
...
I'm gonna go with awesome and wish you all my luck against tiny, overstimulated Christmas beasts.
Godspeed, my friend.
Godspeed.

Have you introduced her to Studio Ghibli yet? That girl needs a Totoro.

Dex said...

Thanks, Lilliputty :) It's not definite that they're coming up but hopefully. And she will definitely be getting a Totoro for Christmas :)

My Neighbour Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service & Ponyo should be okay for a 2 year old, right? Maybe leave out Princess Mononoke for now :)

Louise Boyd said...

I actually think Spirited Away would be the most traumatic.
As much as I love No Face, that guy's stupid scary.
Especially when the teeth come out =/

How does one interact with a two year old?
I've got no cousins, so I'm pretty much Rachel when it comes to the small ones:

https://media1.giphy.com/media/d8QDr4XprvYACbjLyY/giphy.gif

Dex said...

Maybe wait until she is about the same age as Sen before letting her watch it :)

It's weird to think that we didn't have Ghibli when we were growing up :S

You'll be glad to know that Freya doesn't really like being picked up. She might rest her legs on you though while you're both watching cartoons :) Honestly, I think the two of you would be best friends!

Louise Boyd said...

I'd teach her how to cuss.
It'd be magnificent.
0_0

We may not have had Ghibli but we had Labyrinth and Count Duckula and The Muppets.
That's pretty epic in my book.
Little Maggot would have have been all over Pom Poko, though.
Giant raccoons? Oh yeah, I would have gone apeshit!

Dex said...

Cussing and cartoons. I reckon you'd be good older cousin material for Freya :)

Little Maggot sounds awesome! :)

At the moment, I'm looking into the difference between US & UK chocolate bars. A US Milky Way is a UK Mars Bar, a UK Milky Way is something called a 3 Musketeers in the US, Kit Kats in US are made by a different company... Sorry, this has been triggered by someone in the office bringing back Reese's Peanut Butter Cups from New York - we're buying some from Tesco tomorrow so we can check if they're the same or different :)

Louise Boyd said...

Oh! I have knowledge!
Not about why they have different names. That's just lunacy for lunacy sake. But I do know that our American chocolate is fundamentally different because it's not full of poison. We outlawed High Fructose Corn Syrup years ago. Because it's evil. America seem cool with that, though.

Is it weird that there's a totally unashamed part of me that wants this mug?

https://www.boots.com/reese’s-mug-10265935?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc-_-PLAs-_-(GB:Whoop!)+SWEET+CONF-_-(GB:Whoop!)+Christmas+2019+-+Desktop&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItJ3w1-qw5QIVjBnTCh13XQAcEAQYASABEgKb1PD_BwE

Dex said...

This is why you're my go-to-girl :) They even put that stuff in their soft drinks :S

Not at all weird! It even comes with mini peanut butter cups! :) I'm sure you've told me this before but do you have a favourite mug at home? I still proudly drink from the American Dad one you sent me years ago :)

Dex said...

You'll not be surprised to hear that I've been surviving alone at home on Mac & Cheese and Calcifer shaped pancakes :)

Louise Boyd said...

How are you still alive?
Genuinely?
Are you a demon?
A sugar demon?
o_O

My favourite right now is my Cornishware mug. It's huge - I only drink out of huge mugs these days - and cost me £17. It makes me pee all day :)

Dex said...

Do you normally have a huge Cornishware mug of tea with you when you're reading? What if you really need to pee but don't want to stop reading? :)

Maybe only a lesser demon. Not sure if a proper sugar demon would have needed 2 root canals :)

Louise Boyd said...

Hey, even demons aren't perfect.
I bet even Cerberus needs his flea shot.

The timeless dilemma of To pee, or not to pee.
Pee usually wins.
But begrudgingly.
I make sure my bladder knows exactly how unhappy I am with it.
...
I don't know why I say these things to you 0_0

Dex said...

I would never ask anyone else these questions :)

I'm always looking things up after your messages - Cornishware, Cerberus... :) Do you know a lot about Greek mythology, Lilliputty?

Talking about raccoons the other day got me thinking about the The Raccoons cartoon. Can't believe I'd forgotten the 'Run With Us' theme song!

Louise Boyd said...

That is quite possibly the BEST kids cartoon theme tune ever made.
I get all hyped up and nostalgic just thinking about it.
Thus why I've been listening to it on repeat for the last 20 minutes 0_0

I don't know anything that in depth about Greek mythology but I'm competent enough. I like the stories and how fucked up everyone is =/
And it comes up a lot in the books I read. Greek gods/demigods/creatures are a huge source of inspiration for Fantasy authors. I just read one actually that's based on the Eros and Psyche myth. The book itself was pretty disappointing but the internal mythology is still really interesting and expectedly fucked up. Gods and their mischief; so much more interesting compared to our enforced deity.

My favourite greek myths will always remain in the Underworld, though. Hades and Persephone, Orpheus and Eurydice, King Tantalus etc.
I like it dark and if I can imagine it all the way John Martin envisioned it, then I'm a very happy camper.

Dex said...

I was genuinely disappointed in myself that someone had to remind me about the song last week. Why do I forget the best things? :S

To be honest, I'm not surprised by your knowledge considering how well read you are. I pretty much just recognise some of the more famous names and when I look them up, I sometimes remember reading the stories. Like Orpheus turning around to look at Eurydice just before they leave the Underworld, that's definitely something I've read about a long time ago. It must be nice having a general idea about lots of things, in depth or not :)

Right, I'm going to have a look at some John Martin art and then get something to eat :)

Dex said...

Real Big Sky by Emma Ruth Rundle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDlJ7BBPJw0

Dex said...

That moment when you're standing at the self-service in the supermarket and one of your work colleagues uses the machine opposite you so they can see that all you're buying is a box of Cadbury's chocolate fingers... :S

Dex said...

Due to my parents being on holiday, they asked me to take the car to the garage today for its MOT, so I went there this morning. 8 hours later and I've now arrived home with a successful MOT Test Certificate. I almost feel like a real adult :)

Louise Boyd said...

From Cadbury's chocolate fingers to MOT test certificates.
...
Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm sure my parents did much the same a few weeks ago.
You'll all growed up, Fungus!

Halloween tomorrow, what you doing?
Or more importantly, what you stuffing your face with and what you watching while you do it?

I might watch IT.
See what everyone's freaking out about and give myself nightmares while I'm at it.
That's what Halloween's all about, right? 0_0

Dex said...

Happy Halloween, Maggot! :D

Hmm, I'm thinking Scream. Or maybe Scream 2 just so I can watch Cotton Weary talking to Sidney in the library :) But I'm actually heading out in a few minutes because I've heard a rumour at work that the Sound Service Station five minutes from my house is selling vampire teeth. So yeah, after my adult triumph of yesterday, I've returned to my normal state :)

A few of my friends watched IT when it was shown at Mareel. I think the general consensus was that part 1 was better than part 2. Let me know if it gives you nightmares. And also what candy you've devoured :)

Ps. Are you wearing something Halloween themed?

Dex said...

Okay, I had to tell you this right away. I've just got home after picking up some takeaway and a whole bag of vampire teeth :)

Honestly, sometimes I worry about if we'd never met, that I wouldn't be the kind of person who still gets excited about this stuff :)

Louise Boyd said...

I like to think I've helped in maintaining your childhood wonder but nah, you'd still be bringing home bags full of vampire teeth, with or without me.
But you're stuck with me, so that's a bonus? *-*

Can't be arsed to watch IT tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I'm too sleep to concentrate. Thus why I'm watching some random Charlie Cox vampire movies called Eat Locals.
I always end up watching shit Halloween movies on Halloween and I don't know why!

Ps. Of course I'm wearing something Halloween themed: requisite skeleton jumper, sparkly jack o'lantern socks and dark eye circles for days!

Dex said...

Stuck with you? I think it's the other way around but let's not quibble :) I've had so many sweets today! People at work bringing in all their candy leftovers from yesterday. Double Dips, Refresher Bars, Love Hearts, Double Lollies... Which really makes me doubt the judgment of children these days. I mean, what kind of person leaves behind a Double Dip? :)

Eat Locals looks terrible. Hopefully you enjoyed it :) Y'know, I've never seen the original IT film. And obviously I've never read the book :)

You wear the best clothes! And I think dark eye circles just means that you live a much more interesting night life than me :)

Dex said...

You look really good in your Hocus Pocus shirt, Lilliputty :) But whenever you post a photo of your bedroom, I'm always slightly distracted by the awesomeness going on behind you on your bookshelves :)

Dex said...

Spent the afternoon watching The Addams Family & Addams Family Values :)

Louise Boyd said...

What's your opinion on the new Addams Family movie?

The Hocus Pocus raglan is so fucking soft. I kept on stroking my nose with the sleeve - little weird, deal with it - because of the ridiculous softness. New favourite shirt, mister :D

I could live off Refresher Bars.
I'd be horribly sick all the time but I'd be happy in my undernourished state.

Still haven't managed to watch It.
I'm so bad at sitting down and watching movies. There's too much interneting to do and I can't multitask! >_<

Ps. If you could steal one thing from my bookshelves, what would it be?

Pps. Did you notice No Face in the Hocus Pocus picture? And the cushion you sent me for our Birthday?

Dex said...

Seeing the cushion made me so happy you have no idea but No Face just made my day :D Can't believe Emily made that for you (although I totally can since it's Emily). So yeah, guess what I'd steal :) Even though so much of your room would be lost on me, I reckon I could happily live there like a Borrower having adventures amongst all the books and Funkos. I'd probably have to avoid Charlie though :)

'I kept on stroking my nose with the sleeve'. Okay, stop making me like you so much. It's not fair :)

One of my things used to be having a film on the tv while I did a bunch of random internet stuff but my brain seems to struggle with that these days. It seems to just get irritated at my lack of focus :)

I really haven't given much thought to watching the new Addams Family film, mainly because I'm just really bad at watching films at the moment :) I did read a few reviews and they didn't really make me want to go out of my way to watch it but maybe that's just my love for the Anjelica Huston / Raul Julia films talking. Addams Family Values in particular would so easily make my top 10 1990s films list :)

I like to think if we'd grown up on the same road, we could have gone trick or treating together for Refresher bars :)

Dex said...

There's a bonfire at the bottom of our road. I'm assuming they're going to light it tonight but there hasn't been much activity so far. I'm currently sitting in the sun lounge waiting to see a red glow :)

Dex said...

I couldn't bring myself to go down the road and watch the bonfire last night even though it was a nice night for it. I wonder if they had sparklers?

Dex said...

I'm currently working my way through The X-Files season 6 and it has definitely lost something from the first 5 seasons.

That was my detailed analysis of the show :)

Dex said...

It has been so cold up here this last week. Calm but cold. I've been having to scrape ice off the car windows :S

Dex said...

Re-watching The Office.

'Well, well, well. How the turntables...'

Louise Boyd said...

Ugh, birthday prep makes me super uncommunicative. 'Pologies, m'dear.

I'm re-watching The Office, too!
Sort of.
Em's re-watching it and she sometimes has it on in the kitchen when we're both in there.
That counts, right?

Dex said...

Totally counts :) Does Emily watch it while she's baking?

You guys make such a big deal of birthdays, I think it's really nice :) So don't worry about being uncommunicative. You can probably tell I don't have any burning issues to discuss anyway :)

Dex said...

I went into the supermarket tonight all prepared to buy myself a sensible meal for my tea.

I came out with banofee pie. I still don't know what happened...

Dex said...

I'm really into Tegan & Sara at the moment. Also Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

Dex said...

If I had to pick one scene from The Office, it might just be this one :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHrN5Mf5sgo

Louise Boyd said...

Mine's got to be this one:

https://youtu.be/tZZvmHWEu5E?t=274

I was in legitimate agony watching this.

Ps. I haven't had banofee pie in a very, very long time.
...
You suck.

Dex said...

Those snowmen! The stuff of nightmares :D

I totally suck :) But pie is like pudding to me. You put it on the end of something and it immediately makes it sound better :)

Dex said...

I've been using my Mario Question Block Light so much these last few weeks. I like to sit in the living room with my laptop, at night, with a cup of tea, and look up/watch random crap by its glow. And the sound it makes when I turn it off and on always cheers me up :)

Dex said...

My parents were supposed to be arriving back tomorrow morning but their flight was delayed so they're now arriving on Monday. So one more day of junk food and having the sitting room to myself...

Not sure why I always feel the need to tell you what's going on around here :)

Dex said...

Here's are really weird question, Lilliputty. And please don't feel you have to answer. I'm a really poor judge of when something is too personal or not :S How many people do you usually need to buy presents for at Christmas?

I sometimes wonder how people cope with buying for so many people. Because I hardly buy for anyone, maybe 5 at most. Even in our household, we pretty much just order our own stuff so we have something to open on the day and then pay each other back :S Or I'll get clothes from my parents because they know how useless I am at buying things like that for myself :)

I mean, we're a pretty close family but for some reason, we don't really share many interests or make much effort to find out what they are :S

Dex said...

I've been really lazy with my music finding lately :S

Louise Boyd said...

I think the internet indulges our laziness to find new music. It's just too easy now =/

Hmm. Christmas. Christmas is mental for the Boyd family. And the older I get, the more insane I think it is.
We torture ourselves trying to get presents for each other (because some of us are majorly fussy and fucking awful to buy for - this is not me, by the way, I'm the best to buy for apparently ^_^) and then it's just... over.
One fucking day and we've driven ourselves into a state of physical and mental exhaustion.
FOR ONE FUCKING DAY!
...
I like being spoiled, though 0_0 And getting stuff I've requested and stuff that's a total surprise.
But I'm a greedy brat, so don't trust my judgement.
It is hell, though.
I dread Christmas shopping every year. And every year it refused to be anything other than torturous.
...
9 people, by the way. I buy for 9 people, including you.
...
Bonkers.
And we (or some of us) make lists, so it shouldn't be so fucking hard.
But it is.
And I don't want to do it anymore >_<
But I do, because... I get presents. And I love presents.
...
See. A brat not to be trusted :)

Ps. I'm so glad you like your light. I was pretty damn sure you would but I panic over buying you things because... I feel like we spend so much time talking about stuff I like that I'm not always 100% sure what you'll like.
=/
And I latch onto things we've talked about, so I'll buy you things involving whatever that is, but then I'll panic you won't want those things because you don't like the thing we've talked about all that much and argh!
Being in my brain is so tiring 0_0
I also feel like I send you food too much. Although, I love when people feed me so... fuck, I don't know anything!
Help 0_0

Dex said...

I know. I sometimes feel like I talk a lot but give away very little. Even to you. And you're the person who knows me best and to whom I like talking the most. So yeah, I'm difficult :S

But I do think I am way more aware now of the kinds of things I do like or would like. And you seriously deserve a huge amount of credit for that. I mean, you taught me how to look for music, made me get Spotify, made me get Netflix & Amazon Prime, introduced me to some of my now favourite tv shows (Archer, Community, Schitt's Creek, Firefly), got me to read Gormenghast, Angela Carter, Good Omens, Wyrd Sisters, All My Friends Are Superheroes, Expecting Someone Taller...

Not to mention all of my previously forgotten past favourite things that you've reminded me of :)

But, y'know, at the end of the day, I like you the most and I like listening to you talk about things you like. Hmm, wonder if I can fit one more 'like' into that previous sentence? :)

So with 9 people to worry about, remember that you're the one who got me into dream pop. Pretty sure you never need to send me a Christmas present ever again :)

Ps. The rest of your family are correct - you are very much the best person to buy presents for :)

Pps. You can never send me too much food :)

Dex said...

I forgot to ask, do you make a Christmas list?

Dex said...

This year, I've made sure that the presents I've ordered for you outwith the UK come here first, then I can just forward them on. I still feel bad about you getting that card saying that a fee needed to be paid.

Louise Boyd said...

You dolt, don't worry about that! Every year at least three people in the family leave price tags on the gifts they give out. I'm a past master at unexpected gift slips.
...
Gift slips sounds sketchy 0_0

I do indeed make a list.
And get made fun of for said list.
Because it's huge.
Like 20 odd pages huge.
And gets bigger every year.
=/
It's 60% books.
...
That's a lie.
It's 80% books.
There's so many that when I receive books from the list, I more often that not can't even remember putting them on there 0_0
But, y'know, that never bothers me because BOOKS!

"And you're the person who knows me best and to whom I like talking the most."

I feel marginally bad for calling you a dolt now.
...
Marginally.
:)

Christmas is so close. I'm starting to freak out. If only I could just get all the presents and didn't have to shop for anyone else. That'd be good. And I could fashion a throne out of books atop my mountain a gifts.
...
Only kinda kidding.
=/

Dex said...

Very sketchy :)

'And I could fashion a throne out of books atop my mountain a gifts.' I could place confectionery items at the base of the mountain to appease you :)

Okay, I have so many questions. Do you make a new list every year or have you added to the same list throughout the years? Do you use this list for your birthday too? Is it difficult deciding to put a book on the list rather than just buying it for yourself straight away? Does your family get together to decide which items to get you from the list and who is getting you what? Do you highlight items that you particularly want?

Feel free to answer none of the above :)

'I feel marginally bad for calling you a dolt now'. Don't get all sentimental on me :)

Dex said...

Constantly by Emmy The Great

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryngNI6f7Oc

Louise Boyd said...

What kind of confectionary would you leave as an offering?

1. I add to the same list every year; immediately after Christmas/Birthday I remove what I've been gifted.
2. I genuinely cannot buy gifts for other people from Amazon without buying myself a book in the process - not my greatest attribute.
3. The siblings and parents decide separately what they're choosing and then inform each other to prevent duplicates. ... Duplicates still seem to happen sometimes =/
4. I do indeed highlight things: Yellow for really want. Green for need or maiming will occur. And at the top there's a special list of starred items from within the list that I can't live without.

...

I'm a crazy bastard but it works 0_0

Dex said...

Rainbow sherbet, refresher bars, Reese's pieces, snowballs, tiramisu... you'd probably still banish me from your kingdom, or send me off on a quest to find a discontinued chocolate bar :)

You're the best and I don't even think you realise it. Lists are the most awesome thing and you're great at making them. I hope you don't mind that I'm still scrambling around the internet trying to find things I think you might like when you already have a list of presents you want :S

Louise Boyd said...

"... you'd probably still banish me from your kingdom, or send me off on a quest to find a discontinued chocolate bar :)"

I know exactly which bar.
The Cadbury's Marble bar.
I'd murder a pixie for a Marble bar.

What's better than making a list?
Ticking it off.
So.
Fucking.
Satisfying.

Don't be stupid. I love your gifts. Did I not mention the squealing when I opened the Hocus Pocus raglan?
I sounded like a caffeinated guinea pig, for crying out loud.
0_0
Not my finest noise-making moment.

Dex said...

Don't you also have a list of book series that you're reading? It must feel good to tick those off :)

Maybe there's a whole secret world of murder and treachery involving rare chocolate bars :)

I don't think I ever had a Cadbury's Marble :S I just thought it was like a Dairy Milk but made of both white and milk chocolate. I didn't realise it had a praline centre!

No, I didn't know about the caffeinated guinea pig squealing :D

Dex said...

Oh, I see you've already posted photos of your book series' lists, with the red Sharpie lines through the ones you've already read. We even had a conversation about the paws and how you like to huff your pens :)

Dex said...

The person I've got in our office Secret Santa this year, I really don't know very well at all. And the theme is 'keep it local' which is difficult for someone who does 99% of their shopping online :S

I actually said I didn't want to take part this year but they just put my name on the list anyway. Which I suppose is just as well otherwise I'd never take part in anything :)

Dex said...

Sunset here today was 15:10 according to the met office. And apparently it'll go down to 14:56 by 12 December.

I'm so boring :)

Dex said...

My lesson at work today was that when I have headache, do not try to cure it with paracetamol and coke on an empty stomach :S

Louise Boyd said...

Oh, buddy. Why did you ever think that was a good idea?
Did you barf?
I probably would've barfed but that's why I don't drink fizzy things.
...
I miss fizzy things so bad >_<

Strangely, I had a headache today too. Migraine. Nearly hurled.
...
Do you think everyone's as defective as us?

Hmm. Your Secret Santa dilemma is the worst. I genuinely think this tradition should be used between disgustingly close friends, otherwise it's just akward as fuck.
What's local to Lerwick? The only think I know is you knit adorable hats and set shit on fire like the lunatics you are =/

Dex said...

I just spent most of the afternoon burping and apologising. It was really gross and embarrassing :S I usually blame my headaches on the office being all stuffy. Because I'm sure my problems couldn't possibly be related to my poor diet, bad posture and lack of exercise :)

I think I'll lay off the fizzy drinks for a while. Actually, I almost never have fizzy drinks at home anyway. Even when I was a kid. I kind of go through phases when it comes to what I drink when I'm having food. At the moment, it's lemon & lime Juicy Water. But I'm not really much of a juice person. Usually I'll just make myself a cup of tea if I want something to drink. Not at work though because I'm terrified of getting trapped in a conversation with someone while waiting for the kettle to boil :)

Do you have a cold drink of choice? You can still eat fizzy sweets, right?!

I think my mildly annoying headaches are nothing compared to your migraines. They sound like the worst! I really hope you don't get them very often. Do you just have to lie down and wait for it to pass? I sometimes look up videos on youtube of self-help techniques for getting rid of headaches, pushing on pressure points and all that. I'm not sure if they really help at all but they feel okay and they at least help me calm down a bit.

If we worked together, I'd really hope to get you in Secret Santa :) I have a feeling I'd be a really poor judge of knitted hats and people really only turn into pyromaniacs in January :)

Dex said...

I wish I was the kind of person who didn't feel the least bit bad about making no effort with Secret Santa at all :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbK3xQ6ry2A

Dex said...

I think I've settled on a mini hot water bottle (it comes with a cover made from Shetland wool) for my Secret Santa gift. Because the person I'm buying it for often says they're cold.

That's pretty much all the thought I've put into it :S

I kneecap my sentences all the time. You've probably noticed.

Also, the felted backside :D

Dex said...

Hey, Lilliputty. That's 2 of your 3 presents arrived. Hoping to post them all this weekend but I'm slightly worried about the last one though as it should have turned up by now :S

Sorry I haven't been able to get you very much this Christmas. Next year I'll try and flood you with books :)

Louise Boyd said...

Holy shit, you're done shopping already?!
I haven't even started 0_0

Ps. Mini hot water bottle is crazy good idea. As a cold person, I couldn't live without my heat pad thing:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hotties-Microwave-hot-water-bottle/dp/B015YFX3EA/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=heat+pad+microwavable+sheep&qid=1575494469&sr=8-7

I call it my sheep because... it has sheep on it... and I'm apparently that literal... but my fingers would fall off without it.

Smart boy, you are.

Dex said...

I just get really anxious about things arriving on time. Although the last present actually arrived today! So relieved :)

Yeah, this is probably why it's good you only know me from a distance :S

I'm so glad you said that about the hot water bottle. Now I know to definitely get it for Secret Santa :)

'I call it my sheep because... it has sheep on it...'

I don't know, when you tell me things like that it just makes me feel super proud to have you as a friend :)

Louise Boyd said...

I feel like I've lowered your standards for friendship... but it'll take it :D

Ugh, I can't believe Christmas is 20 days away.
It's freaking me the fuck out.
I so don't have enough mental spoons for this time of year. I'd need to borrow a whole cutlery drawer just to survive 0_0
I kind of envy how low-key your family is with this stuff. It's not even like mine want to get wasted and party until we can't move like most people but ugh, there's so much sitting around and talking (which collectively turns into shouting because there's 9 of us and everyone seems to have a working diaphragm but me) and argh, it's just too much!
All I want is to see people for maybe an hour and then barricade myself in my room with presents, The Muppet Christmas Carol, a horde of various seasonal foods (my mum and sister make the best Christmas dinner; best meal of the year, no hyperbole here), and possibly Charles if he promises not to attack me like an enraged soot sprite like he did yesterday < I swear to Bast, the little fucker is certifiable.
...
Being introverted and socially anxious is so hardddddd *__________________*

Dex said...

Your idea of Christmas sounds nice :) What time do you normally manage to escape to your room?

I wish I could buy you Bernard's watch for Christmas so you could stop time. I do worry that if I had it, I would always be very reluctant to start it again :)

Y'know, I can't picture Charles ever going out of his way to attack someone. He always looks so relaxed (in a grumpy kind of way) it seems like it would be beneath him :) Although I can certainly imagine him slowly pushing someone out of their bed to claim it for his own :)

A low-key Christmas is good for me but I'll probably still be really jealous of your food :) What does your mum and sister usually make for Christmas dinner?

Dex said...

It's ridiculous how many things I learn when I read one of your comments and need to look up a reference.

Like yesterday. Bast? What is Bast? Google. Oh. That's actually pretty darn interesting :)

Dex said...

Be It by Azeda Booth

https://open.spotify.com/track/2bDsmQCRrQKABftWd8DjLG?si=QBbr3dtbRt60F1zbHiQB3g

Dex said...

For some reason I'd saved this link to a random music video in a word document on my computer ages ago :)

Tractor by Manhood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij8HQPrmadw

Dex said...

So sorry Lilliputty, I didn't get around to posting your presents at the weekend like I said I would. But I did manage to find a suitable box to put them in so I'm counting that as a small success :S

Dex said...

It turns out Freya's not coming up for Christmas but I'll maybe get to see her in January. Hopefully.

Louise Boyd said...

Nooooo. No pocket-size Freya? I wanted to hear tales of you two watching Christmas cartoons and stuffing your adorable little monster faces with sugar :(

You're way too organised. And when did it get to the 10th?! What the crippling fuck is going on 0_0

Dex said...

It sucks, I know. It's been so long since I've seen her that she's probably forgotten who I am. She's a smart cookie though. Only just turned 2 and she already speaks more coherently than me :)

Whenever I finally get around to sending your box (hopefully tomorrow if the weather's okay just because I need to walk to the post office), there's something extra inside - shredded confidential HR documents used as packing paper :S

Louise Boyd said...

Hah! Isn't that illegal? I could be the kind of psychopath that'll sit for weeks piecing each strand together. You don't know 0_0

How could Freya forget her uncle David? And even if she does, just bribe her with awesome stuff. Works on me =/

Dex said...

'I could be the kind of psychopath that'll sit for weeks piecing each strand together.' You mean like the Penguin in Batman Returns:

"A little patience and a lot of tape make all the difference" :)

I'm sure it's okay though. People take bags of our shredding home to use as bedding for horses and chickens :)

I reckon you'd be good at choosing things for Freya to watch while she's growing up :)

Oh, I finally managed to get along to the post office today to post your box :)

Dex said...

So, if 'A Nightmare Before Christmas' is your second favourite Christmas film, what's your favourite? The Muppet Christmas Carol?

Louise Boyd said...

You know me so well, Fungus :)
If I could only ever see one Christmas movie again, it'd beThe Muppet Christmas Carol.
It's majestic.

Do you have a ride or die Christmas movie?

Box came today! It's so light. I'm very intrigued 0_0

You should be getting a box around the 19th. And another one when I finally post it. Which'll probably be last minute because my efficiency goes completely out the window this time of year! It's lucky there's presents and food and Muppets, otherwise I'd be a real pissy bitch... more so than usual =/

I'm so jealous of Freya's name. She's named after the Norse Goddess of love, sorcery, lust, war, death and more. That's quite the repetoire. AND she has a chariot pulled by two black/grey cats! She has a cloak of feathers so she can fly. AND a battle boar.
...
Freya's so lucky 0_0 My name means famous German light warrior =/ Not the best.
Yours mean beloved and uncle. So you must be the best uncle :)

Dex said...

Thank you, Maggot. You always know how to cheer me up :) And I'm going to try and remember the meaning for Freya's name. Maybe I can try and explain it to her when she's old enough :)

I don't know, German light warrior sounds kinda cool! Also, what is that cat gif from? :)

I was thinking the same thing when I was carrying the box to the post office. I swear there are supposed to be several presents in there! I am a bit worried about them though. Let me know if next year you just want me to send you a fuckload of books :)

Please don't worry if you don't get around to sending the other box in time for Christmas. I'm sure it'll keep for another time. Can't pretend I'm not super excited though to find out what's in the first box :)

Does Batman Returns count as a Christmas film? Because Christmas night, alone in my bedroom, that's always the first film I want to watch :)

It weird, after 7 years I still feel as if I'm learning new stuff about you all the time :)

Dex said...

Office Christmas party on Friday. But I'm mainly looking forward to the lunch because I've pre-ordered waffles for dessert :)

Dex said...

Don't judge me too harshly, but I'm also quite fond of Home Alone 2 as a Christmas movie. I never get tired of watching Catherine O'Hara slap Tim Curry :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtMM8UDTsUs

Dex said...

A think the box you sent me came today. I've claimed it for my own anyway :)

Dex said...

The mini hot water bottle I ordered for Secret Santa came yesterday. I really want to keep it :)

Louise Boyd said...

I sent your second box yesterday! ... Or Sarah did because my uterus attacked me and walking became impossible. But it's on its way and if Hermes is to be trusted, it'll arrive before Christmas, maybe even in the next couple of days :)

A fact: I'll never judge you for enjoying Catherine O'Hara slapping people. It's glorious. Basically everything she does it glorious. ... My lifetime crush is showing, isn't it?
Batman Returns always scared the crap out of me. I mean, I adore it and it most definitely counts as Christmas movie but The Penguin? With all the black icky stuff coming out of him? My kid self was petrified. My adult self still is! It's such an epic movie, though. Michael Keaton will always be the best Batman but I'm pretty intrigued to see how Robert Pattinson will do, and not just because I love him.
This part of the reason why:

https://youtu.be/nFA6Ycch1EM

Also, Paul Dano as the Riddler is perfect.

What kind of waffles... ?

Dex said...

Presents! :D

Is that what Robert Pattinson's like in real life? I had no idea! :)

How can you not crush on Catherine O'Hara? :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbzCIOvLepk

Totally agree about Michael Keaton as Batman :) I don't blame you for being freaked out by The Penguin though. I sometimes can't believe the films I was allowed to watch (or not allowed but watched anyway) as a kid. I mean, I'm glad I was but still... I do kinda miss that feeling when watching horror films quietly late at night so my parents wouldn't hear :)

Banoffee Waffles :)

Dex said...

Survived the office Christmas party. Didn't drink alcohol and made it home in time for my usual cup of tea. I'm such an old man now :)

Louise Boyd said...

Were the waffles good at least? Go on, you can torture me with Banoffee goodness, I've got Reese's Pieces to soften the blow.

Catherine O'Hara and Michael Keaton are my favourite part of Beetlejuice. I would've totally been down with them getting hitched and having some epic, fucked up romance.
They could get Otho to decorate their Barbie dream house.
Did you hear they're going through with the sequel?
I am both disturbed and intrigued 0_0

Dex said...

Honestly, the Banoffee waffles were so good. They even had little cubes of toffee in the sauce. Would definitely recommend :)

Tim Burton really should have ditched Johnny Depp for Michael Keaton :) When I was a kid, I was really confused by Otho. I had no idea what he was supposed to be. He was just this guy who entered houses through windows and went around spraying paint on walls :)

Is Burton penciled in to direct the sequel? Because it seems like he hasn't made a good film in forever :S To be honest, with sequels and remakes these days, I just have a feeling of apathy. It's probably a defense mechanism :)

Also, second box arrived today :D

Enjoy your Reese's Pieces, Lilliputty. I'm sure you'll be making me even more jealous over the Christmas holidays :)

Dex said...

Talking of remakes and sequels, I watched Star Wars IX today. I'm such a bad reviewer of films but the thing that's still really bothering me is the capitalisation of certain words in the opening text crawl. I mean, do these words really need to be in capitals? It's just so bizarre :S

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et6gDWMZ7pU

Ugh, I'm so fucking pedantic :)

Dex said...

Just to warn you, I'm really sorry for not wrapping the presents I've sent you. I just left them in the boxes that they originally arrive in. Also, there could also be evidence of how much they cost lurking somewhere. So basically, total fail on my part...

One day I'll surprise you by actually sending something gift wrapped :S

Louise Boyd said...

You give me way too much credit. Wrapped or unwrapped, I'll be a complete barbarian when I open that box.

I just spent 3 hours wrapping presents. My. back. is. killing. me! Don't wrap on your floor. Not unless you're 18 and limber as fuck.
You'd think with all the yoga, I'd better at this body nonsense but nope! Still a rickety spined monster 0_0

As punishment for the Brownie description - yes, I realise I gave you permission to do it but I'm a little shit, you know this - I'm going to taunt you with the fact that my house smells like Brownies. Ooey gooey Brownies. I get them with Häagen-Dazs for Christmas dessert :)
Suitably punished?

I need a Tim Burton-fest. You've got me all 80s nostalgic.

How'd your gift go down?

Dex said...

Brownies and Haagen-Dazs for dessert. You fucker! :) Especially since the Brownies or of the ooey gooey variety. That's super important to me :)

So, what films would you include in a Tim Burton-fest?

Don't know why I thought this would make your back feel better but here's a video of cats giving back massages to dogs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a19BXd0WMiA

It's great that you do yoga though. Is that something in your daily routine?

I think she liked the present. I haven't really spoken to her about it or told her that I bought it but she seemed to like it :) I got a gift token and I'm totally fine with that. You know what a difficult asshole I am to buy for :)

Louise Boyd said...

Yes. Yes you are :)
Always grateful, though, that's nice.
And I love gift vouchers!
I'll happily receive Amazon gift vouchers whenever someone's stuck over what to get me.
Where's it for?

Yoga is the 3rd last thing I do at night. Second last is wash my face. Last is reading until obscene o'clock.
I can't not do it now. It's become a weird addiction. And it helps. Like yesterday and my back? 10 minutes of stretching, a night's sleep and it feels like a spine again, instead of a malformed coat hanger.
I refuse to be one of those people, though. You will not find me meditating. Or saying namaste. Or god forbid, trying to indoctrinate people into the yoga cult.
Nope, nope and fuck no.
I hate those people 0_0
The most you'll get from me is less groaning about my back pain :)

Tim Burton-fest must include:

Nightmare Before Christmas
Beetlejuice
Sleepy Hollow
Batman Returns
Edward Scissorhands
Frankenweenie (but only because I've got to watch it sometime...)
And maybe The Corpse Bride

It always feels like there should be more than that =/
It doesn't help that he's shit, now.

Ps. If I didn't think Charlie would just starting scratching pretty patterns into my back flesh, I'd totally let him play masseur.

Pps. Merry Christmas for tomorrow, Fungus!

Dex said...

Merry Christmas, Maggot! And to Charles as well :) I really want to open the presents you sent me now but I'm going to try and save them for later. It's so difficult though! :)

I really hope Christmas isn't too stressful for you, that you get a ton of presents and food, and that you do get to escape to your room to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol :)

I think I could have guessed the last part of your nighttime routine :) And when you mentioned yoga, it never even crossed my mind that you might be one of those people :)

Malformed coat hanger - I do love your descriptions :)

The gift voucher is for Mareel. I think the only thing most people in the office know about me is that I sometimes like to go across the road for a coffee or hot chocolate. But I'm totally okay with that :) And I never mind getting Amazon gift vouchers - it's usually what my parents buy me anyway. Even they think I'm difficult to buy for :)

Going by your list, I would happily join you for your Burton-fest :)

Dex said...

After hyperventilating, I thought I'd just about be okay until I noticed what No-Face was knitting...

I'm dead. Totally fucking dead :D

Louise Boyd said...

Pretty much exactly the reaction I was hoping for :D
And I showed this Em, the maker of hyperventilation-causing toys, and it made her super happy.
I did sew one arm and his face together, though!
I totally helped and didn't get infuriated with the way thread tangles like a motherfucker 0_0

So fucking happy you like it :)
Merry Christmas, buddy.

Oh, and just a couple more things...

DAVID DEXTEROUS CHARLES FUNGUS EPISTOLEAN EVA, DID YOU MURDER A GELFLING AND SEND IT TO ME?! :O
...
Because I love ittttttt 0_0
And yipped like a happy puppy when I opened Kuchi Kopi. I've been in the process of begging Em to make me one for weeks!
He's now sitting happily at the end of my bed, protecting me from evil bed monsters.

Is the pin an ode to Charlie?
Because right now he's nested in a giant box filled with paper packaging.
Coinkydink?

You're the best.
Such awesome presents.
How the fuck am I going to top this?!

Dex said...

I did think that Gelfling murder might have been going a bit far for a Christmas present. Then I remembered who I was sending it to :)

The No-Face face looks great! Seriously, I couldn't be happier. Y'know when you secretly hope for something but never think you'll actually get it... :D

Please say thank you to Emily as well even though she has just about destroyed me with her skills :) Also, what is PEMMLES.? It's sown on the back.

Gah! Every time I think I've gotten over it, I pick him up again to look at and he's just so perfect :)

I was a little worried that Emily had maybe already made you a Kuchi Kopi but I couldn't ever remember seeing him on your shelves and I think it's the kind of thing that if I'd seen I would have felt compelled to point out :)

Well, I was in the Etsy shop buying the card and I just saw the pin of a cat in a box, and remembered you telling me about Charlie's box and how much I enjoyed picturing it, so obviously I had to buy it for you both :)

Also, how could I have got this far without mentioning the rainbow sherbet (60 fucking straws!) and Calcifer pin?! Thank you so much, Maggot :) I also kind love how our presents matched up - we each sent the other a pin and a soft toy of an animated character. We're the best :)

Dex said...

One more thing, Lilliputty. The ball of wool is genius - it lets No-Face balance perfectly :)

Dex said...

I had a completely uneventful Christmas by the way :) We didn't even put up any decorations this year! We did have Christmas dinner and opened a few presents in the evening but pretty much the only other thing I did was walk to my mum's nursery to feed the goldfish. Thought it was the least I could do since I didn't help at all with anything else the whole day and I actually spent most of it in my bedroom watching Frasier since that's what I bought myself :S

Dex said...

Reading on Emily's blog about all the thought and effort put into my present made me feel kinda special.

Dex said...

Don't know why this makes me laugh so much but Dwight's gun during The Office rabies run :)

https://youtu.be/7rzTViZ0bxA?t=57

Dex said...

A few hours early but Happy New Year, Lilliputty :)

Louise Boyd said...

Fucking hell, Christmas is mental. Hence my total lack of communication. I so envy your laid-back celebrations.

Happy early New Years to you too, Dexterous. I'll be fine-tuning my Monthlies to the soundtrack of whatever movie we pick to watch and trying to stop myself from devouring all the mini sausage rolls my mum will inevitably cook for The Bells. Not that we give a fuck about New Years but y'know, food and booze? Any excuse in this family of mine. This girl will be drinking Shloer like a proper grown up =/

I don't actually know who's happier about No-Face, you or Em. She's also mildly terrified I'll force her to make the entire Ghibli cast.
And to be fair, this is a worthy fear. Because I totally will 0_0 I foresee piles and piles of soot sprites and Totoros in my future. Maybe even a Ponyo and a Boh! I fucking love Boh.
Oh, and PEMMLES is a nickname Em's had since we were kids. It'd be her brandname is she decided to make toys. And if we ever worked together, it'd be a combination of both our childhood nicknames: Peasy and Pemmles :)
I think it's lovely and perfect for a toy brand. And you, my dear boy, are the first recipient of a branded Emily Boyd soft toy. Feel even more special now? I don't even have one of those and I'm her sister! Blood means nothing these days...

Dex said...

I love 'Peasy and Pemmles'! I honestly do feel very, very special! Not even joking, I'd give Emily money to start her own soft toy range (or whatever she decided to create with her crafty skills), I think she's that good. And I'm really glad to hear how happy she was with how No-Face turned out because I think he's perfect :) The only problem I have is that I really want to show and tell people but I have this overwhelming fear that something would happen to him. He will remain safe and secure in my bedroom for now and maybe forever :)

I'm assuming mouse Boh and not giant baby Boh? Because if it's giant baby Boh, no wonder Emily is a bit terrified :)

Important question - white grape Shloer or red grape Shloer? Also, what movie did you decide to watch? Also, Monthlies! :D

Even though this Christmas has relatively nice and quiet, I'm totally certain that there are plenty of things about your Christmas celebrations that I would be completely envious of. I mean, my mum didn't make me mini sausage rolls! :)

Dex said...

I always have so many questions after reading your monthlies. What's the best season of Buffy - 2 or 3? Is deep fried pizza any good? Did you get drunk on Christmas cake? And so on...

I'd ask more but I actually just want listen to your Spotify top songs right now.

Dex said...

First day back at work. But I had a really good sleep last night for some unknown reason. I mean, it wasn't any longer than usual, but I just woke up feeling very awake which almost never happens for me :)

Dex said...

I really like the print you bought Emily for Christmas that she posted on her blog!

Dex said...

1-800-Love on constant repeat at the moment. Damn you, Maggot! :D

Dex said...

I really like your idea of annually re-watching a favourite show. I think it's something I should try to do.

Dex said...

I really need a swear jar at work :)

Dex said...

For absolutely no reason, here is a list of the fire festivals taking place in Shetland this year :)

Scalloway Fire Festival – 10th January 2020
Lerwick Up Helly Aa – 28th January 2020
Lerwick Junior Up Helly Aa – 28th January 2020
Nesting & Girlsta Up Helly Aa – 7th February 2020
Uyeasound Up Helly Aa – 14th February 2020
Northmavine Up Helly Aa – 21st February 2020
Bressay Up Helly Aa – 28th February 2020
Cullivoe Up Helly Aa – 28th February 2020
Norwick Up Helly Aa – 29th February 2020
South Mainland Up Helly Aa – 13th March 2020
Walls Junior Up Helly Aa – 14th March 2020
Delting Up Helly Aa – 20th March 2020

Dex said...

My cousin has been posting photos of Freya when they were on holiday in the Philippines last year with my parents. It almost made me regret not going.

Dex said...

I finally got a dvd player for Christmas so I've gone back to my old habit of half-watching films/tv shows while fucking around on my laptop :S

Dex said...

Magdalena Bay. That is all.

Girls by Magdalena Bay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91h49nAZkhA

Dex said...

Totally uninteresting fact. I use the school holidays to divide my playlists on Spotify. So, at the moment, I've just started making my Winter/Spring 2020 playlist which I'll use from now until the Easter. Except I don't like having the same artists on different playlists, so I still add to my previous lists if an artist on them has released a new song. I'm super odd, I know :S

Dex said...

My life always seems slightly more exciting whenever we get issued weather warnings :)

Dex said...

Hutch by Barrie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD6knJwAsBg

Dex said...

Our team won the film quiz last night, for the first time in ages. Way too stressful though, I felt like throwing up. Still, I was pretty happy at the end :)

Louise Boyd said...

I swear to Betty White, I am GOING to message you back properly. I just haven't been able to gather enough mental spoons after Christmas. I'm totally sapped. You should see this month's monthlies, it's hilariously empty because my brain will. not. work!

But I'll get there, so I can properly rejoice with you in your post pub quiz success of not tossing your cookies.
Pinky swear.

Ps. Emily can't stop activating the dead Gelfling. It's kinda cute. Kinda disturbing. My sister in a nutshell.

Dex said...

You take all the time you need, Lilliputty. I just like telling you about my tiny triumphs :)

And I'm still going to look forward to your January post :)

Tell Emily to keep on being cute and disturbing. It's good for the dead Gelfling :)

Dex said...

Slowly but surely getting through the rainbow sherbet. I'm trying to limit myself to one a day. Sometimes I fail :)

Dex said...

Someone gave me a £10 gift card for Tesco at Christmas so I'm going to put it to good use and have a junk food night :)

Dex said...

Hemma by Surma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iMEbODsJaY

Dex said...

Current eating a chocolate torte.

Dex said...

Definitely my big weakness with film quizzes is my almost complete lack of knowledge about anything released in the last 10-15 years :S

Dex said...

I forgot to say, I made some more Calcifer pancakes this weekend :)

Dex said...

One more week and I'll have made it through the dark months :) I've also been looking back over the Shetland weather reports online for the past few years to see if I can work out when it's likely to be good weather and plan my leave. This is how I spend my time :)

Dex said...

Looking through all the mix sleeves you've sent over the last few years genuinely makes me happy :)

Dex said...

Picked out new glasses frames today. Took me ages because of my indecision :S

Dex said...

I forgot to say that Tommy the cat was in the opticians on Saturday. He's basically Shetland's biggest celebrity at the moment :)

Louise Boyd said...

Hold on a damn second. Lerwick has a famous cat?
...
Why are you only just telling me this now?!
...
I googled him.
I want to squish his face.
That pink noseeeee.
You're so lucky 0_0

Also, since when have you had glasses? I didn't know this either! Or did I? Fuck my memory =/

Dex said...

I've only had glasses for about a couple of years. I can actually see okay without them but I'm a bit shortsighted and my left eye is much weaker than the right (I think it's -2.5 & -0.5). I wish I had you with me to help pick out frames :)

I've no idea why I haven't mentioned Tommy before! Actually, you probably wouldn't have been much help picking out frames if Tommy had been there. He would have gotten all your attention :)

Louise Boyd said...

Yeah, sorry bud, you're cute and all but are you covered in fur and full of purrs?
No competition I'm afraid =/

It snowed.
There's actual snow.
...
I still don't feel seasonal 0_0

Dex said...

Apparently Tommy had on his little Up Helly Aa bandana today :)

Maybe you'll feel a bit more seasonal if you manage to get enough to make into a snowball and throw at someone :)

Ugh, I was so jealous the other day. One of my friends at work went across to the food fair in Mareel and came back with churros in chocolate sauce :S

Dex said...

Lonely Hearts by Japanese Heart Software

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-SXX-tSMkM

Dex said...

The nice thing about working with quite a few people roughly the same age as me is that whenever we go out to lunch or something like that, and we can't think of anything non-work related to talk about, we can always talk about old cartoons we all used to watch :)

Dex said...

Ally McBeal by Morabeza Tobacco

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KttmB6KT7WU

Dex said...

I knew I was right to still look forward to your January blog post :)

Dex said...

It was a really nice day here today. I went to Clickimin Broch, where I hadn't been probably since school (I used to go there all the time).

Dex said...

It was almost still light when I left work this evening. Almost.

Dex said...

Whenever my cousin posts videos of Freya, she seems so smart it's actually pretty ridiculous :)

Dex said...

mini mix vol. 1 by Magdalena Bay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3oPpbaifkc

Dex said...

I think I've only seen The Money Pit once on tv a long time ago. I really should watch it again.

When I look at your list, I actually don't think I've seen as many Tom Hanks films as I thought I had :S

Dex said...

I've made plans to go out for coffee with a friend from school on Monday. Now I'm going to spend the whole weekend stressing about it :S

Dex said...

https://twitter.com/AccidentalWes

Dex said...

I actually like that Emily's 12 days are quite spread out this year. Gives me plenty to look forward to :)

Also, I didn't know your mum and dad were in a car accident in December! I'm really glad they're okay. No wonder things were so stressful!

Louise Boyd said...

How'd the nostalgia horror coffee go, mister? Not too bad or a reason to never reacquaint yourself with the past?
...
I'm a cynical witch.
Let's try this again?
How'd coffee go?
Did you get cake?
Is that a stupid question, you always get cake. You're the king of cake!

I will never not apologise for being a useless friend and not replying to messages for weeks at a time, not matter how many times you tell me it's okay but yeah, December/January has been a mess.
My Dad got sick first with this horrendous chesty, Bronchitis-esque cold, he coughed and wheezed for weeks, then Sarah got it and it was somehow worse, then Mum got it and she's still suffering. It's been 2+ months of violent coughing and now, bloody now! I think I might have it. Ughhhhhhhhhhh. I can't take the coughing anymore! I love them all but genuinely, I would sell a limb to never hear a cough again. My sensitivity to noise just cannot handle it and it'll be extra insufferable if I'm the one coughing.
Again, I says, uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And yeah, there was a crash. Not like a flip the car over and wreck it crash but a really bad swerve that ended up with something vital in the... something in the engine, I don't know what, I don't speak car, but it got massively dislodged. The mechanics were fairly surprised the rentals made it back home with the beating the car had taken.
But most importantly they were okay. Really shaken, but unharmed. I don't think I've ever seen my folks that rattled, especially my Dad.
This! This is why I'm terrified to learn how to drive!

I could really do with life just calming the fuck down for a while, Dex. Just a little. It's been crazy since Christmas and we've just had my mum's birthday and in just over two weeks we've got my gran's.
Which sounds like it shouldn't be stressful but it is. It so bloody is. I love my gran but oh boy, she's crazy 0_0

Okay, I think I've whined enough and it's snowing, so I can't be too much of a grump.
Tell me about coffee.
Or about the cake.
You know how I feel about cake.

Ps. Watch The Witcher or I'll be mad at you :)

Dex said...

I'm so sorry, Maggot. You go through all this stuff and I just send you random messages about the smallest things :S

The sound of constant coughing is one of the worst. But I know you're a really nice person and I bet you've been helping your family out a ton. Although probably if it was me doing all the coughing, you'd try and solve the problem by cutting off my head :)

Constantly annoyed but feeling obliged to help out - that's basically me at work :)

Your poor parents. It must have been horrible to see them so shaken - parents often seem indestructible. But I bet they're made of pretty stern stuff :)

Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me, me, me :) I got stood up by my friend tonight. After spending about a week worrying about it. I just sat there on my own for about half an hour, sipping at my latte, looking at my phone - I was actually reading the message you wrote tonight :) I didn't even get cake - although I had already eaten a fuckload of brownies that someone brought into the office today. I just walked home with that feeling you get when you realise you've cared too much about something that the other person was probably right not to really care about at all - I sometimes wish I was one of those people :)

But I did end up having a nice, sarcastic conversation about it all with my friend at the Mareel front desk. Those kinds of things always cheer me up :)

Ps. It seems like a little while since you've given me a 'watch or die' ultimatum - The Witcher must be good :)

Louise Boyd said...

...
...
...
...
I am now furious on your behalf.
Did they at least text you or was it a total ghosting situation?
...
People are the worst 0_0
I am so mad.
I will kick some metaphorical asses on your behalf.

But at least there were brownies and actual nice, considerate people to commiserate with.
Ugh.
I'd never stand you up, Dexterous. I promise. I'd text you while still asleep so you wouldn't feel shitty.
...
Am I unreasonably mad about this?
...
I don't care.
Let the metaphorical ass kicking commence!

Ps. The Witcher is immense. Watch it immediately - or whenever you're ready, ignore my bossiness - and bask in the ridiculousness of it all. It's so much fucking fun 0_0

Dex said...

Well, if it wasn't for your bossiness, I would have missed out on so many of my favourite things :)

I really do love when you get mad on my behalf :) And I know you'd never stand me up - you'd just tell me honestly that you couldn't come because it was cutting into your reading time :)

I think she just forgot we were meeting up. And she did send me a nice message to say sorry and ask if we could meet up next Monday instead. So, I'll contain my inner suburban Dennis Reynolds rage monster until I see what happens then :) I mean, I know she probably forgot because it was totally unimportant to her while the thought I going out anywhere fills me with the kind of obsessive dread that dominates my life until its over but still...

So, another week of worrying about something that will probably never happen :S

Y'know, after reading your message yesterday, I do feel even more special that you and Emily found the time to make me a No-Face :)

Also, what kinds of things go on at your gran's birthday?!

Dex said...

Can I hire Emily to come and prepare Christmas for me this year?

Dex said...

I've been trying to exercise a bit more these last few weeks. Nothing crazy, just a few basic stretches at home. I'm not sure if it's helping that much but I'm quite liking the routine of it all :)

Dex said...

Well, I bet you're glad Hopper's not dead :)

Dex said...

Did I tell you I've been invited to a wedding in June? It means I have to buy a suit :S

Dex said...

Today's lunch was a bag of salted caramel M&Ms :)

Louise Boyd said...

A wedding?
Never been to one of those.
They look nauseating on the telly.
I hope you don't barf from all the love 0_0
Steal as much cake as humanly possible.
If you dance, you have to tell me, especially if it's to some terrible cliched 80s number being pumped out by a terrible DJ, or even better, a tacky house band.
And what kinda suit you getting? Powder blue? Hipster check? Classic Bond?
I NEED TO KNOW THINGS >_<

But most importantly... are salted caramel M&Ms any good?

Louise Boyd said...

Ps. Offer still stands to kick some asses if you get stood up again.
It stands so hard.

Dex said...

I've been to one wedding. About 10 years ago. It was in a registry office and then we had a meal in the museum restaurant. That was it :) But this one's going to be in a church with a bunch of strangers (except for people from work) and out of town (so no easy escape back home). And yes, knowing the couple, it will be nauseatingly soppy - probably Fester's wedding vows in Addams Family Values levels of cringe :)

Well, I usually just like to sit in judgement of other people's dancing :) I have a feeling there will be some traditional dancing before the inevitable 80s cheesefest. Or maybe they've hired a band like Scrantonicity :)

Obviously, I'd look good in all of those suits :) But when I'm out in public, I like to where clothes that make it very difficult for people to remember I was even there. Or maybe I'll just dust off my old Beanfeast suit from 2004 :)

'Offer still stands to kick some asses if you get stood up again.
It stands so hard.' You really are my favourite person :)

Monday night's coffee with friend didn't happen. Again. But she did message me this time a few days before so it was okay. I am kinda hoping that by the time we finally get around to seeing each other, I'll be so over it that I won't even care enough to feel anxious :)

Salted caramel M&Ms - would highly recommend :) But I'm a sucker for any confectionery that has new or limited on the wrapper :)

Ps. I would have totally asked you to be my +1 to the wedding - just so I could see your dance moves :)

Louise Boyd said...

Ha. Ha. Ha.
No dance moves for you.
Only the observing of a tiny monster out of her natural habit of hibernation, calculating the amount of cake she can stow away in her backpack. ... It's the only bag I own 0_0 I don't know how to girl. But I fucking love cake.
I'll need to know the flavour from this wedding. If it's a fruitcake, however, I need you to hex them. I like fruitcake but that's just unnatural for a wedding =/

What does one's 2004 Beanfest suit look like? And what is a... Beanfest? Do you harass gold-hoarding giants? You monsters!

I reckon I'd be a total April Ludgate at a wedding. Normal people fun is very confusing to me. Dancing in public goes against the very law of nature. Spending that much time with other people is barbaric!
...
But cake.
...
This is confusing...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Did she have a good reason for flaking on you again?
I don't like this.
I'm sensing a butt that needs thoroughly kicked.
Can I, can I?

I GOTS THE LURGY, DEXTEROUS!
Motherfuckers infected me and now there's tinfoil in my throat 0_0
My dad tried to feed me honey today - for the antibacterial goodness.
I hate honey.
It's putrid bee vomit.
...
He force-fed me.
...
I bleh'd it onto my plate.
...
0_0
...
Emily cackled for ten minutes.

Dex said...

Honey dripping Maggot. Wish I'd seen that :) I really hope you feel better though. Maybe get your dad to feed you some syrupy throat medicine - I used to like that as a kid :) Also, we're so different! I like honey and I don't like fruit cake :)

It's Beanfeast rather than fest, although a Beanfest sounds way more fun :) It's not very exciting - it's basically our version of prom, usually held just before the Christmas holidays. There's one for 1st & 2nd year students (which is basically 2 hours of people doing the Monster Mash), 3rd & 4th year students (which I could never be bothered to go to), and finally 5th/6th year (as an added bonus, the 6th years get to organise the senior Beanfeast, usually consisting of embarrassing acts on stage that are supposed to be funny, followed by a piss up at one of the country halls - I have a feeling the last bit has been banned now). Growing up in Shetland is super fun :S And my suit was... just a suit. That's the only way I can describe it. It was just a suit :)

Okay, I want to go to the wedding with you and help stuff cake into your backpack. Then we could hide from all the people, maybe in some hidden upstairs viewing point where we could observe and judge their dance moves while eating stolen cake. I'm genuinely a little sad that this will not be happening :)

I wish she knew how much trouble she's in :) She said something about working nightshifts and wanting to go home for a few days to rest (she doesn't live on the Shetland mainland, but one of the smaller islands). I mean, spending time at home vs going out for coffee with someone in public - can't say I blame her too much :)

Ps. What kind of wedding cake would make you jealous :)

Dex said...

Don't judge me too harshly but most of my lunches at work this week have consisted of Peanut Butter & Jam rolls :)

Dex said...

Re-watching Schitt's Creek, it seems so weird that David doesn't meet Patrick until half way through season 3 :)

Louise Boyd said...

But... why... is it called... Beanfeast?
0_0
I don't understand.
Our dances were... dances. And our last one at school was called the sixth year ball... because were in sixth year... you islanders are odd. But I can very much get behind the Monster Mash. Being the ultimate Halloween song and all.
I got very drunk at the sixth year ball. And stoned for the first time. Didn't even puke :) The Coldplay concert I went to the next day with my sisters was interesting, though. I don't remember much but they've kindly informed me on multiple times that I looked like I was going to puke the entire time, couldn't form proper sentences and tried, valiantly and persistently, to sit my arse down in the middle of Glasgow Green in the midst of rowdy, drunk idiots jumping around the Chris Martin play mediocre alt-indie-pop ... They didn't let me sit. I think this was probably wise.
Creatures of the Lilliputty genus shouldn't be allowed narcotics of any form. Bad things go down.
Which is why if I was your +1 these days, there'd be a strict cake and *insert fizzy drink of choice* rule. No matter how socially awkward I got, no alcohol for this girl. Unless it's in the cake... cake booze is totally fine. Totally fine...

"What kind of wedding cake would make you jealous :)"

I think, my friend, the better question would be what kind of wedding cake wouldn't make me jealous.
Even the okay ones, they're still cake!
I do have a wicked craving for anything involving coconut at the moment, though.
And for Em to recreate the meringue thing she did for my birthday last year. It tasted like fucking Vienetta, Dexterous.
...
VIENETTA!
0_0

I... suppose ghost-friend has a decent reason for cancelling but I still don't like it. If you know you're more likely to go home, don't make plans! Rude. Just rude.
...
I'm a total shit-biscuit. I used to flake on plans all the time. Ignore me. The lurgy has eaten my brain. Can't even talk properly anymore. It's just Sesame Street Honkers at this point. Endlessly amusing for the family. Not so much for my vocal chords, dammit >_<

Ps. Peanut Butter & Jam? PEANUT BUTTER & JAM?! You monster.

Pps. I swear to Roland Schitt, if David and Patrick's wedding isn't the most putridly cute even in Schitt's Creek history, I'm going to start breaking shit.

Louise Boyd said...

So many typos... -_-

Dex said...

I hardly notice the typos. I'm usually just too focussed and how much better your grasp of the English language seems to be than mine :)

Beanfeast - I have no idea :) I did find this on wikipedia though - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bean-feast

Sadly, we didn't elect a bean king :)

Part of me wishes I'd bumped into a drunk and stoned Maggot 15 years ago :) Was that about spring/summer 2005? If I had a time machine, that's definitely a stop I would make - to see you and to tell myself to stop fucking around at uni :) And even though you were at a Coldplay concert (I'm guessing by force?), I bet your taste in music back then was still pretty amazing :) I wonder if we would have got along at school? I was a total loser by the way. You probably would have been way too cool for me :)

Alcohol never really crosses my mind when I think of hanging out with you. My mind's usually full of dessert and bedroom tv watching :) That just means that if you flaked on plans, more dessert for me :) Unless, you turned up, took the dessert, then went straight home again - I can totally picture that happening! Could you please at least bring some of Emily's Vienetta on occasion? :)

I hope you feel better soon, Lilliputty. And that your family can decipher your honks to bring you all the coconut goodies you need :)

Dex said...

Debbie's laugh from Addams Family Values. Sometimes, re-watching moments like this over and over again make me so happy :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgGkwvs_AUg

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