Normally, this wouldn't bug me.
I'd rather authors took their time and gave me a story worthy of the wait.
(And Bouchet's currently writing a female-led space opera that I'm itchy to get my grabby hands on, so she's kinda busy already) But after that ending?
That whole book?
(Which wasn't bad, by the way, parts of it were fantastic, but it just wasn't the right ending for this series)
I need me some more.
Stat.
Pronto.
Right the fuck now because I reiterate:
WHERE THE FUCK IS KATO?!
...
Oh boy, oh man, this is so not good, this is going to drive me nuts.
And I hate writing a crappy review for a series I adore.
Truly, it pains me.
But this was not the finale I was hoping for.
It doesn't do justice to everything that came before.
To our heroine, our hero, their relationship, their hardships.
I am all for character development; I wanted Cat to grow and trust herself, trust her feelings.
She deserves those things but not at the expense of her essential Cat-ness.
Catalia Fisa is a smart-mouthed hell-beast of a woman and watching her verbally spar with her husband, her brothers and sisters-in-law, and just about everyone who ruffles her inward and now outward feathers is a thing of beauty.
She's quick-tempered, brattish at the best of times, she hits first and hits some more later.
But she's all squish inside, and she'll most certainly throat-punch you for pointing that out.
...
My perfect woman, essentially.
So, of course I want her to be happy and loved and not tortured by guilt every second of her life, but I still want her to be Cat.
Not this bubbling, soft thing Bouchet turned her into.
I want her bubbling, soft, and eternally feral.
Cat's very talented, she can multitask that shit in her sleep.
Thus why I'm mystified by the Cat I was given for our final adventure together.
She barely singed anyone with her forked tongue, nary a temper tantrum in sight, and I'm pissed about it.
She doesn't make sense without her playful vitriol.
If Cat's not giving you the verbal stink-eye whilst loving you more than you'll ever comprehend, then she's not being the heroine I know and love.
Of course, there were moments where my vicious girl would appear.
But they were so rare.
Too rare.
I missed them.
If the gods hadn't arrived to provide bicker-happy entertainment in Cat's snarky stead, I don't think I would have recognised the tone of this series at all:
Lightning abruptly stops leaping from my body, settling roughly back into whatever mostly inaccessible well it resides in.
"She wouldn't be half as belligerent if she'd grown up with me." Selena crosses her arms, apparently wholly unconcerned by her potential impending doom.
Ares scowls. "She wouldn't be half as alive if she'd grown up with you."
"I beg to differ," Selena responds coolly.
"Beg all you want. I'm still right."
"I'm very effective."
"You make rainbows and heal people."
"You make war and kill people."
"I taught her well." Pride gleams in Ares's eyes. "She just brought down a man a head taller thank she is and twice as heavy without even trying."
Selena scoffs. "Her exceptional reflexes are hardly your doing."
"Or yours," Ares says with narrowed eyes.
[...]
"She had to figure things out on her own. Couldn't have you influencing her," Ares responds with a shrug.
"Oh, no." Persephone's sarcastic mock sincerity rivals my own. "Only you can do that."
Ares preens, just to goad her, and Persephone looks like she's about to attack. Ribbons of power race in circles around her dark-blue irises, brightening them from within.
She glares at the other God, her eyes terrifying. "She was impressional when she was with you. Thank the Goddesses she had her sister to teach her compassion."
[...]
"Thank the Gods she had me to teach her how to survive," Ares shoots back.
He taught me to fight. And kill.
[...]
"She has a name," Persephone snaps out impatiently.
"I know," Ares snaps back. "It's Little Monster."
"No, it's Catal―"
"Not important," I interrupt.
I would love it if Bouchet did a whole series featuring the gods.
A book for each couple, or an odyssey for a group of them, or an Olympian takedown.
I don't know! Just... something.
Hades and Persephone are right there.
Right bloody there!
And Ares and Aphrodite.
Prometheus and Pyrrha.
Athena and Hephaestus.
Look at all that potential.
Come on, Bouchet, it could be fun.
Tempestuous godly brats fucking shit up, playing with the humans, and pissing each other off?
That's storytelling gold.
And I know you can write good stories. I've read them. Raved about them.
I really don't.
And it's not as if I didn't enjoy myself; I did.
Between the infuriation, that is.
Because Bouchet was sneaky and played on my squishy, idiot heart:
Griffin gives me a gentle shake, urging me to look him in the eyes. [...] "You are the missing part of me, and I am never giving you up."
His truth burns through me. Heat thickens my throat, and tears prick at my eyes. Ever since Little Bean was conceived, I have the most aggravating propensity to cry. "But they changed you for me."
"They gave me a gift that's kept me alive. That got me Sinta and brought me to you." He lightly squeezes my shoulders. "And it's a good thing I'm indestructible where magic is concerned, because when you get excited, you light up the room like a storm."
I bit my lower lip. I want to smile. I still feel like crying.
Griffin sweeps his hands down my arms. His skin is rough, his touch gentle. "Don't doubt us, Cat. Don't doubt me."
I take a shaky breath. "I don't. I just... I'm..." I stop, at a loss.
Griffin lifts his eyebrows. "Inarticulate at the moment?"
Scowling, I thwack him in the chest.
"Overwrought?" he supplies, his mouth quirking up.
I thwack him again.
"Highly emotional?"
Thwack. Thwack.
"Apparently weak, because none of that hurt at all."
I give him the evil eye―a grumpy one.
And my need for small-defeats-tall violence.
Nothing quite as satisfying as a tiny, punch-happy heroine beating the immortal crap out of an Olympian god.
That will never get old, and Cat has a particular talent for it.
And it's not as if the gods don't deserve her wrath for the hell they put her through.
I advance on him, not caring that I'm half his size, not anywhere near as powerful, and not at all immortal. "You dare to pass judgement on my humanity when you have none? You're a cold-hearted monster. [...] You think you're so clever, so above mankind, but you're not even smart enough to understand us lowly humans and our mortal hearts." I glance down at the great, somber valley I've seen the bottom of too many times and then laugh right in the Titan's face. The sound couldn't be more razor-sharp if my teeth were serrated to points. "You need me to find the spark―that buried ember of magic that will get us both out of here and make your dreams come true. But you drown me in pain. You show me everything I don't have to live for. You fling me from agony to loss."[...]Even without wings, I suddenly soar. "Listen carefully, you imbecilic, incompetent, worthless fool of a God, because I'm about to give you the secret to dealing with mankind. And you can tell Zeus when you see him next, since he obviously needs the reminder." I step toward Perses again, getting so close I burn from his primeval magic and heat. Currents of lightning snap and spiral a sizzling path through my blood, no longer dormant or hidden from me. I can have my husband. I can have a family. I can have my kingdom. I can have it all, because despite my flaws, I deserve happiness, and I'll do my very best to bring it to others as well."A crushed spark never ignites," I tell Perses. "That's not how you fan the flame."I shoot out my hand and smack the Titan right in the sternum just as a lightning bolt rolls down my arm.
I think that's what you call a mic drop.
And again! So much potential storytelling!
They're in Tartarus for fuck's sake.
TARTARUS!
...
Ugh.
I have to stop now or the exclamation points are going to get completely out of control.
I wish I wasn't so disappointed, I wish this wasn't such a gloomy review, I wish this book had been twice as long so the story could've played out with more depth and cohesion.
If it had been the penultimate book in the series, I know I would have enjoyed it immensely.
I could've looked past the things that irked me so much, even with the bitter taste of wtf plaguing me throughout, because this is a great story.
It's fierce, and funny, and plays out like the classic grecian myths it's based on.
But it's not a final story.
That happy, squishy, sated feeling I get when I've finished a series just wasn't there.
All I had were more questions, more confusion, more wtf's.
But, oh well.
I'll just have to be happy I got to spend a little more time with my squishy-idiot OTP and their squishy-idiot family; that the villains got vanquished, and there's potentially going to be more stories with the above mention squishy-idiots.
...
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